I feel really down, so helpless... Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
Please do not de-anon me - I'm a regular here and my classmates in school stalk my account and I don't want them reading this.

I feel really down for some reason. I'm in Year 12, I've finished my exams and now the wait till results day is getting to me. For the first time in my life, I have no idea how I've performed. My subjects are maths/science based and I'm hoping to apply for medicine next year. I'm scared because my whole ambition is to become a doctor and I can't think of pursuing a career that I'm that passionate and dedicated to do. Obviously no one knows how they've done in exams but I was fairly spot on with my GCSE predictions right before results day with a handful of A*s and A's but I don't know whether I've got A's or B's this time round at AS. The wait till results day has got me so paranoid. It's got to the point where I sit down with a pen and paper and start counting up marks I've lost and marks I've gained...etc which is really starting to become an OCD.

Moving to a new sixth form was difficult. I've lost in touch with a lot of my good friends from my old school - best friends who I thought would stay close. They don't care. I've made some effort to talk to them and catch up with them but it's like as if they don't care anymore, they've moved on. I feel so sad because I haven't established any good relationships with classmates in my new school. I spend all my lunch times and breaks in the library doing work and I'm sick of it. I hate going to the common room because I don't fit into any social group. I tried mixing but they don't want to accept me. I feel as if I should be picking at my faults and personality to see where I'm going wrong here. I was so socialable at my old school which was mixed but my new school (all boys) has got me singled out for the first time in my life.

Next on the list is religion. I'm a Christian. I admit to being a crap Christian. I only turn to God when I want something or need something. I pray the night before every exam but I feel it's petty. I feel like I should have a proper relationship with God and maintain it because I feel so guilty for some reason. When something goes wrong, I blame God and take it out on him. When something goes right, I tend to thank God in my heart and acknowledge his presence in my life. I haven't gone to church in a very long time (my parents go pretty much every week). I tell them I'm tied up with work and I'm quite lazy but I feel it's because I've distanced myself from God and don't know how to go back to him. I don't want to have to explain myself to family friends at church either if I randomly show up. What am I supposed to say for not turning up for a service in like a year?

I'll bring this to an end with weight. I'm fat. I'm not denying that. I'm 16. I have a size 38 waist which means I can't buy trousers/shorts from places like Topman or River Island because they only go up to 36. I have stretch marks all around my stomach and it looks disgusting. I need to go on a diet and start exercising but I don't know where or how to start it.

Sorry, this will probably turn out to be one long post but I just don't know what to do. I'm hoping time will take its course and sort me out. I feel so sad and upset, possibly depressed, and I really need some advice.

Please, again, do not de-anon me. It's embarassing enough to say this to strangers on a forum than have my identity revealed when some classmates think its funny to stalk what I say on this forum.
0
reply
The Socialite
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#2
Report 11 years ago
#2
Aw babe! I'm sorry to hear that you're so down about things.

But of course, it's always possible to change things.

1) Your exams. They're over. There's nothing you can do about them now - even working out the grades aren't going to change them, they're going to have the reverse effect and make you more paranoid, so stop. worrying. about them. To be honest, AS levels aren't the end of world...say the worst came to the worst and you got a D in chemistry?? (unlikely, you seem pretty intelligent and focused to me). You could resit the paper in January, perhaps with extra tuition, and apply to university in Year 13, taking a gap year before uni perhaps. Or, you could apply to do another course at uni, such as neuroscience or something, and merge into a medical degree later - this is very in too deep and I doubt you'll have to do any of those things, but I'm just trying to make you see that AS levels aren't the be-all and end-all. If you're determined enough to be a doctor, you'll be a doctor. Simple as that. In the meantime, put all your files and things away, shove them all in a cupboard and ENJOY the free time you have before you get plunged into A2 year! Go out with friends and family, get a summer job, take up a new hobby...anything to take your mind off results day!

2) To be honest, who cares about friendships in sixth form? You're only there for another year - concentrate on your studies, thats what really matters if you want to go into medicine. Of course, keep up your social skills by doing extra-curricular activities, a new sport or something. You said you used to be sociable, therefore you can be sociable again - at uni you'll have plenty of time to be sociable, trust me! You only have a year left, hardly time to make huge bonding friendships.

3) As for religion, God is always willing to accept you, no matter how far you've strayed. Going to church on Sundays is a great way to rekindle the relationship - no one is going to be annoyed at you for going to church! If they ask, tell them the truth, that you've felt distanced from God recently and want to return to Him. Chances are they'll admire you for that.

4) Weight. God, that's such a changeable thing - and you have the whole summer to lose those pounds and get a good, healthy body. Try to get some sort of exercise regime throughout the summer - get a gym membership and force yourself to go three times a week. Explain your problem to one of the gym instructors and they'll get you started on a programme to help you lose weight and tone up (remember to do a balance of cardiovascular and weight bearing activities, alternate them). As for dieting, don't go for idiotic faddy diets. Go to the supermarket with your mum/dad next time they go, and hang around the vegetable and fruit section - pick out ones that you like, so next time you're a bit peckish you can nibble on a nectarine, or some raisins. Stews, casseroles and soups are great ways to eat vegetables, I'm sure you'll find some great recipes in cookbooks or on the internet. Make sure you eat lean meat and fish too as they'll help you build up protein to tonk you up a bit, hehe! Don't worry, you can easily shift the weight, and when you do you'll feel much more confident in yourself.

As soon as you give yourself a to-do plan, you'll stop feeling depressed as that sense of helplessness will have left you. It's time to start taking control of your life and doing something about it, as it's clearly not going great for you at the moment.

I hope that helps somewhat. If you need someone to talk to, you can always email me!

Best wishes

Livs
0
reply
The Bachelor
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#3
Report 11 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel really down for some reason. I'm in Year 12, I've finished my exams and now the wait till results day is getting to me. For the first time in my life, I have no idea how I've performed. My subjects are maths/science based and I'm hoping to apply for medicine next year. I'm scared because my whole ambition is to become a doctor and I can't think of pursuing a career that I'm that passionate and dedicated to do. Obviously no one knows how they've done in exams but I was fairly spot on with my GCSE predictions right before results day with a handful of A*s and A's but I don't know whether I've got A's or B's this time round at AS. The wait till results day has got me so paranoid. It's got to the point where I sit down with a pen and paper and start counting up marks I've lost and marks I've gained...etc which is really starting to become an OCD.
Push it out of your mind, and go do something fun. Anything. What's done is done; worrying about it won't make it better, and can only give you the nerves. Go to the coffee shop with a good book, try your hand on some of those social groups, watch doctor who episodes all day, it doesn't really matter what you do, just relax.
0
reply
annarchy
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#4
Report 11 years ago
#4
Oh my dear.

1. Results: I do the same things so I don't know if I can help much. You know very well that there is nothing you can do now and obsession will not change what you get, so, you might as well forget about it, but prepare for the worst case scenario always.
As for medicine, don't worry all that much - start working on a personal statement and looking into the UKCAT. You can do resits in January (only if there is a realistic chance you can get an A though, e.g. you got a B or a high C - then resit two units). I got crap AS results and got offers for medicine - the best thing is to know this is what you want and be prepared for a difficult A2 year... This will come across in a good PS.

2. Dude, your friends are being blassé about wanting to keep in touch, so I advise you don't exert too much energy disliking them for it, wondering why they are doing it, or trying with them anymore - people just move on, it's difficult for the one who moves on in another direction but you have to make a choice to either keep on going without looking back or being depressed. And not fitting into a social group is a pretty good thing - most schools are by 50~60% annoying morons, you will realise this when you leave. Don't bother making grand sacrifices to befriend people because I can promise you, it is not worth it. Unless you decide to alter who you are because you feel like it, you'll look back and feel stupid. If you have no friends in your new school and your old friends don't want to know, you could try making friends at your Church group since you're a X-ian, failing that, another way to make new friends is to get a job. Besides, you were sociable and had good friends not too long ago, so there is OBVIOUSLY nothing wrong with you, don't even bother thinking that. You just need people you can identify with. Think of ways to meet these people, there are many; just be brave and jump in there.

3. I can't advise you on your faith because I'm an atheist. Best person to ask there is yourself, you can't believe in things because your family friends "will talk" if you don't. That is silly.

4. Where to start on a diet regime - you might wish to clear out all your snacks in your house. You should also try to eat lots of meals a day, but make them much smaller, protein-filled portions. This helps I think. Like 6 small meals a day - makes you feel like you're eating a lot but you're not. Try to get your meals to fit on a saucer. This sounds ridiculous but because you're eating regularly it shouldn't be. I can't advise much on this either, sorry.

Hm I have more to add but I guess this is a start; send an email to [email protected], they are really great at giving advice. Also, try to get back in touch with the simple things you enjoy doing by yourself, you might feel better for a little while, PM me if you need to talk more, I shall try my best to make you reassess your negative views on this stuff.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#5
Report 11 years ago
#5
Firstly dont stress. If you dont get your As grads it is FAR from the end of the world. You can apply post A-level when the grades are in the bag, resists have been done and you have boosted any dissapointing results. You can do the graduate entry to medicine. If the worst comes to the worst you can look into medical related degrees and see if any of those will fulfil you as much as a doctor (so many have a lot of overlap, and yet do not get the credit they deserve because a doctor is seen as having more prestige). Try not to focus on it. There is nothing you can do now to affect your results youre wasting your time even thinking about them. When you get your resulst you have lots of options that you will b able to look into if the worst happens so it isnt worth getting upset over!

You have one year left at college - some people made great friends at college but id say most people drift away from their college friends and really find their niche at university. There's more people, more oportunities, more experiences. My college friends are great and I love them but my uni frinds have been my surregate family, the people who have seen me at my worst, the people I have had my best times with. If you go onto medicine you will find you will bond very well with medics. Because its so full on and thy have a different term tim (from 3rd year) they tend to get very close to their own.

Religion is not something to blindly be followed. It seems that everyone gets to the point in thieir life where they think about how faith impacts them. Whether they believe in God, whether they want religion to be a part of their life, whethr they just dont care. If you decide to go back to church then you have obviously concluded that god has a part to play in your life and should be commended for having actually considered it rather that just blindly follow your faith. If people question why you have gone back you should just say something about thinking you should and leave it at that. If god is in their life they will understand.

Dieting - go to the gym! cut down a tiny amount but mainly go to th gym. It can be hard at first if you are conscious of your image but when you see the pounds dropping off you, youre fittness levels increase and your confidence improve you will be spurrd on.
0
reply
Lisa-Mi-84
Badges: 0
#6
Report 11 years ago
#6
annarchy pretty much spelt out what I was gonna say - and very well said too - so yeah I agree with what she said, go with that... :rolleyes:
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Would you turn to a teacher if you were being bullied?

Yes (10)
21.74%
No (36)
78.26%

Watched Threads

View All