University Rape Culture... Girls? Is It True? Watch

Retired_Messiah
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#41
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#41
99% of problems of a sexual nature are influenced by drink at uni. You're not gonna get sexually assaulted at 9am on a thursday on your way to economics 1B. With regards to the drinking itself, follow the common sense safety rules of a night out (don't go home alone, don't **** off with strange men, etc) and you shouldn't have any more trouble than you would have anywhere else.
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Notoriety
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(Original post by Retired_Messiah)
99% of problems of a sexual nature are influenced by drink at uni. You're not gonna get sexually assaulted at 9am on a thursday on your way to economics 1B. With regards to the drinking itself, follow the common sense safety rules of a night out (don't go home alone, don't **** off with strange men, etc) and you shouldn't have any more trouble than you would have anywhere else.
Define strange men. All the ones I know involved other uni students, very often friends of the V.
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Retired_Messiah
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(Original post by Notoriety)
Define strange men.
Men that have the quality of strangeness.
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AngryRedhead
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#44
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(Original post by Notoriety)
Nah, you simply misunderstood my post. I was not suggesting that either of those meant rape was not committed. Hence, I called it unintentional rape. I.e. rape which was not "intentional". I'd have said "unintentional (and thus) non-rape" if I meant that.

I am talking about the view the law (in England) takes, which is probably more salient than your subjective understanding of the word "rape".



Also this is complete nonsense.
Sex without consent, or rather more specifically in the uk, penetration with a penis without consent is the very legal definition of rape; having sex with someone without first seeking consent would come under that definition would it not? Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t you study Law at Oxbridge? I’m a little bit concerned if you don’t recognise that penetrating someone without prior consent is rape

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_in_English_law
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chazwomaq
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#45
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Just as a side note, OP, how you look doesn't matter. It's a common misconception that being deemed sexually unattractive makes you are less at risk of rape.
Is there any evidence for this? I know that being young is a risk factor for rape, more so than other crimes, and wonder whether that's due to attractiveness.
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Notoriety
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#46
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(Original post by AngryRedhead)
Sex without consent, or rather more specifically in the uk, penetration with a penis without consent is the very legal definition of rape; having sex with someone without first seeking consent would come under that definition would it not? Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t you study Law at Oxbridge? I’m a little bit concerned if you don’t recognise that penetrating someone without prior consent is rape

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_in_English_law
No.

She and he are kissing at the club. She and he go back to a flat. She and he kiss some more. He grabs her bum, she grabs his knob. One thing leads to another. Do you think he would have to ask before he inserts his penis "By the way, Genevieve, are you OK with having sex with me right now?" I expect if he did she would sigh and accuse him of killing all the fun.

You can ascertain consent through conduct.
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chazwomaq
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#47
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(Original post by AngryRedhead)
Sex without consent, or rather more specifically in the uk, penetration with a penis without consent is the very legal definition of rape; having sex with someone without first seeking consent would come under that definition would it not? Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t you study Law at Oxbridge? I’m a little bit concerned if you don’t recognise that penetrating someone without prior consent is rape

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_in_English_law
Incomplete definition. You also have to include "(c) A does not reasonably believe that B consents."
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AngryRedhead
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#48
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(Original post by Notoriety)
No.

She and he are kissing at the club. She and he go back to a flat. She and he kiss some more. He grabs her bum, she grabs his knob. One thing leads to another. Do you think he would have to ask before he inserts his penis "By the way, Genevieve, are you OK with having sex with me right now?" I expect if he did she would sigh and accuse him of killing all the fun.

You can ascertain consent through conduct.
Grabbing another’s genitalia does not mean you have consented to sex with them; I have touched other people’s genitals both in the context of my job (healthcare) and outside of it; does this mean I wanted to have sex with them? No. So this is a ridiculous argument.

In the case where both parties are intoxicated verbal consent should always be sought. I do with this my partner even when we haven’t consumed alcohol and it never kills the mood so this argument about asking verbally kills the mood is nonsense
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username4355882
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#49
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As most people have said, it's mostly to do with night outs and drinking and that is not exclusive to universities or university students.

Regardless of how old you are, how attractive you think you are, where you are and what time of the day it is, it is your duty to be responsible and protect yourself. Be careful when you go out, drink responsibly and stay close to people you trust if you feel unsafe.
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Notoriety
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(Original post by AngryRedhead)
Grabbing another’s genitalia does not mean you have consented to sex with them; I have touched other people’s genitals both in the context of my job (healthcare) and outside of it; does this mean I wanted to have sex with them? No. So this is a ridiculous argument.
Were you kissing them before you touched their genitals, embracing them on a bed, whispering sweet nothings into their ear? You look at the factual matrix, not just one aspect.

In the case where both parties are intoxicated verbal consent should always be sought. I do with this my partner even when we haven’t consumed alcohol and it never kills the mood so this argument about asking verbally kills the mood is nonsense
We cannot all be held to the standard of your long-suffering partner. Who I thought you did not have sex with for religious reasons, but whatever.
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AngryRedhead
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#51
(Original post by Notoriety)
Were you kissing them before you touched their genitals, embracing them on a bed, whispering sweet nothings into their ear? You look at the factual matrix, not just one aspect.



We cannot all be held to the standard of your long-suffering partner. Who I thought you did not have sex with for religious reasons, but whatever.
Not exactly, it was in a bedroom environment though, I don’t wish to go into explicit details as this a public forum that children can access but nonetheless the kind gentlemen understood that it was mainly out of curiosity and was not a consent on my part to sexual intercourse. If one man can understand this I see no reason why all men can understand this. Should a guy, after having his junk grabbed by a girl in the club, immediately proceed to try to have sex with her?

I’m not sexually active with her now, but I have been in the past and this was what we went by. I can’t see any reasonable woman objecting to a random stranger in a club actually checking she wants to have sex first before plowing in. It shows more consideration on the part of the man, something women tend to like in men.
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi there, I do apologize for the very sensitive nature of this question, but I've come across some articles on University 'rape culture'. Now, I will state that I don't know if I should be worried; I'm a commute student whose 25 years old, and while I'm sheltered... I also wouldn't really consider myself attractive, compared to the young women I see going to University. I'm not ugly, but I'm not attractive compared to these girls. So I feel that puts me at lower risk.

ANYWAY, I just want to ask if the risk of sexual assault is really so high at University? Things to watch out for, advice, experiences, if the thread isn't too improper.

I also realize that men can be sexually assaulted too; please feel free to add your own experiences/advice.
Yes it is very high at uni, I don’t know any girl at my uni who hasn’t been sexually assaulted at some point. I’ve been followed around and touched inappropriately many many times
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Notoriety
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#53
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#53
(Original post by AngryRedhead)
Not exactly, it was in a bedroom environment though, I don’t wish to go into explicit details as this a public forum that children can access but nonetheless the kind gentlemen understood that it was mainly out of curiosity and was not a consent on my part to sexual intercourse. If one man can understand this I see no reason why all men can understand this. Should a guy, after having his junk grabbed by a girl in the club, immediately proceed to try to have sex with her?

I’m not sexually active with her now, but I have been in the past and this was what we went by. I can’t see any reasonable woman objecting to a random stranger in a club actually checking she wants to have sex first before plowing in. It shows more consideration on the part of the man, something women tend to like in men.
You look at the full factual matrix. Not just one aspect. If I have to repeat this again, I am going to have to conclude you're not even reading my posts and I am wasting my time here.

The point is that you needn't ask. It would be good practice, but even then there is room for ambiguity. This is because consent is required through the whole life of the penetration. It is no good to say "while she went unconscious midway through, she said yes at the beginning". Someone can change their mind and through conduct express this. Ambiguity means there is an ability to not fully understand the intentions of the other person.
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AngryRedhead
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#54
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(Original post by Notoriety)
You look at the full factual matrix. Not just one aspect. If I have to repeat this again, I am going to have to conclude you're not even reading my posts and I am wasting my time here.

The point is that you needn't ask. It would be good practice, but even then there is room for ambiguity. This is because consent is required through the whole life of the penetration. It is no good to say "while she went unconscious midway through, she said yes at the beginning". Someone can change their mind and through conduct express this. Ambiguity means there is an ability to not fully understand the intentions of the other person.
Yes I read your post the first time and yes I understood it. What is the difference in body language in practical terms between a woman grinding up and down on a guy, kissing him, grabbing his junk outside of the bedroom, maybe on a nightclub floor, as opposed to doing the same inside a bedroom? Where do you draw the line between consent and non consent when you’re trying to ascertain it purely via body language? There is no difference in body language is there? To suggest that the only thing that changes body language from being “non consent” to “consent” is four walls is in my view not reasonable.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/nypos...s-awkward/amp/

Whilst on the surface this would seem to support your view that women find asking awkward, if you actually read it you will note that she says:

“I wish more guys did that,” she says. “Honestly, two seconds of awkwardness was better than just having sex without asking.”

Whilst I do note that this is the opinion of only one woman; there are regrettably no large scale studies done on whether women explicitly prefer verbal consent prior to intercourse or not, but the general attitude of women towards this issue can be gleaned from the massive popularity of the #MeToo movement.
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by chazwomaq)
Is there any evidence for this? I know that being young is a risk factor for rape, more so than other crimes, and wonder whether that's due to attractiveness.
Perhaps but that could also be due to young girls being less street aware, less experience in those kind of situations, less aware of their limits regarding alcohol (not saying they shouldn't drink past their limits but it does make them more vulnerable), more likely to not recognise a situation that could turn potentially dangerous, being smaller physically and therefore easier to control, not having the confidence to say "no" etc etc.

My main point was that rape isn't just about sex or lust like a lot of people think, it's about power and control.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 1 week ago
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by 江山此刻波澜壮阔)
As a girl student, you`d better not to drink with strange men. I think university is safer place than outside.If you still concern being raped, you may consider Chinese university, where rape very seldom happens.
By the way, as you are 25, do you study for bachelor degree or master degree?

@xoxAngel_Kxox @bones-mccoy Are you university student?
Hi there, I'm not a student at the moment but I will be in September
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by AngryRedhead)
Yes I read your post the first time and yes I understood it. What is the difference in body language in practical terms between a woman grinding up and down on a guy, kissing him, grabbing his junk outside of the bedroom, maybe on a nightclub floor, as opposed to doing the same inside a bedroom? Where do you draw the line between consent and non consent when you’re trying to ascertain it purely via body language? There is no difference in body language is there? To suggest that the only thing that changes body language from being “non consent” to “consent” is four walls is in my view not reasonable.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/nypos...s-awkward/amp/

Whilst on the surface this would seem to support your view that women find asking awkward, if you actually read it you will note that she says:

“I wish more guys did that,” she says. “Honestly, two seconds of awkwardness was better than just having sex without asking.”

Whilst I do note that this is the opinion of only one woman; there are regrettably no large scale studies done on whether women explicitly prefer verbal consent prior to intercourse or not, but the general attitude of women towards this issue can be gleaned from the massive popularity of the #MeToo movement.
I feel like it's much easier to be sure of non-verbal consent in a situation where both individuals are sober. When one, or both, are drunk, lines can become blurred, people don't always acknowledge the consequences of their actions so it's always better to double check - doesn't have to be a massive display of stopping everything, turning lights on, stopping music, whatever, but just a simple "are you sure about this?" can put a stop to a lot of unwanted accusations afterwards.

And in terms of someone asking and getting no reply - that's not consent. No reply is not a "yes" and should always be taken as a negative.
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Blank13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi there, I do apologize for the very sensitive nature of this question, but I've come across some articles on University 'rape culture'. Now, I will state that I don't know if I should be worried; I'm a commute student whose 25 years old, and while I'm sheltered... I also wouldn't really consider myself attractive, compared to the young women I see going to University. I'm not ugly, but I'm not attractive compared to these girls. So I feel that puts me at lower risk.

ANYWAY, I just want to ask if the risk of sexual assault is really so high at University? Things to watch out for, advice, experiences, if the thread isn't too improper.

I also realize that men can be sexually assaulted too; please feel free to add your own experiences/advice.
I wouldn't say there's a 'culture' insomuch as sexual assault is widely accepted as part of the uni experience for the guys and that girls are just teases who really want it because they dress provocatively and accept a drink from a guy. I will however say that there are, at every uni, a small group of ********s who genuinely believe all the above.

In first year I was at a bar with a friend who got very drunk very easily and was quite out of it that night. I was making sure she didn't run into traffic or disappear off on her own (both things she was prone to do and the city we're in has its share of sketchy areas and crackheads) but the security guard on the door made it very clear he thought I was lucky she was so drunk because I'd easily be able to have a good night of it. I wouldn't say be paranoid but make sure you've got someone there you trust on a night out in case you need help to get home.
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AngryRedhead
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
I feel like it's much easier to be sure of non-verbal consent in a situation where both individuals are sober. When one, or both, are drunk, lines can become blurred, people don't always acknowledge the consequences of their actions so it's always better to double check - doesn't have to be a massive display of stopping everything, turning lights on, stopping music, whatever, but just a simple "are you sure about this?" can put a stop to a lot of unwanted accusations afterwards.

And in terms of someone asking and getting no reply - that's not consent. No reply is not a "yes" and should always be taken as a negative.
This is the point I was trying to make, maybe it was not coming across in the best way. Too many guys think its too much hassle to check verbally before sex then act surprised when they get accused of rape
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TSR Mustafa
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Rape culture doesn't exist in uni
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