Abusive relationships Watch

discombobulation
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#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
I was going to anonymise (what a word!) this but I thought f it, I'm so angry about the last relationship I was in I can't even be bothered trying to hide.

Basically I got beat up a lot, hair ripped out, kicked in the head whatever, was with the guy for four years and basically lost everything I had between the ages of 16-20...I've got away from it now, easier than I thought but basically things have been horrible since.
I don't think I miss him because I feel more like myself since being single but I have the uncontrollable urge all the time to tell everyone I know about what he did to me...even though this would achieve nothing and just makes me think about the past.
He boasts about his permanently broken knuckle but never tells anyone how he did it obviously...
I don't know what I'm trying to say.

Being single is really horrible cause I'm so used to being with somebody but the intensity of everything that's gone on in the last four years makes me appear like a miserable moody biatch...

Also, whilst I was in this relationship I basically lost all the friends I had and when I came to university I basically only made one proper friend, who is doing their year abroad from September and I just don't know what to do

I know I can't blame the relationship for everything but it seems like its to blame for a lot of my problems now and I don't know what to do next...
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dh00001
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#2
Report 11 years ago
#2
well first off well done on walking away

really i think you should speak to a proffesional, they will be able to help ypu far more.
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NDGAARONDI
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#3
Report 11 years ago
#3
Have you been to a long holiday? Might help to make things easier after a traumatic relationship. My brother was in an abusive relationship (he was the victim) and unfortunately the rest of the family didn't have the courage to do something about it, except me.
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discombobulation
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#4
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#4
I haven't even told my family and I don't know how anybody professional is going to make me happy
I just feel stupid and angry...
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Schmokie Dragon
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#5
Report 11 years ago
#5
You are not stupid. What he did was sick and beyond unacceptable.

If you told people what he did to you, it could make people realise what he is like, but it may also turn people against you if they think you are lying to get attention after the break-up. Maybe it would help to confide in your close friend, and maybe see if you can get back in touch with old friends?

Being single after a long and significant relationship is weird and horrible, but I think you need some time alone to work out who you are and what you feel.
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discombobulation
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#6
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#6
My closest friends do know but there's nothing anyone can say, it's one of those, you've got to move on kind of things cause I can't change who I am and what's happened really so I've just got to put up with being the way I am now...
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Ang|ophi|e
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#7
Report 11 years ago
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Discombobulation, being in an abusive relationship is horrible. Be thankful that he didn't do anything worse to you. The anger and sadness you feel is pent up emotions that you repressed while in the relationship. Did you still stay with him even after he abused you? I think that you are in part mad that he had so much power over you, and that you couldn't do anything.You're not stupid for what happened. He took advantage of the love you had for him. People like him are scum. Just because its in the past, doesn't mean its over with. It has started to affect the way you are socially. Maybe psychologically you think that if you let others close to you they might be like him. However, not all humans are like that foul piece of ****. You are worthy and a good person. Don't let him prevent you from moving on with your life. Don't feel the need to get pity from others. That's not the only way to get their attention. Yes you were the victim, but by overcoming it, it makes you an independent and stable person. You probably stayed in that relationship because you didn't want to be single. But it's not a horrible status to have. You are free from having to worry if the way you are is okay with them. I think that you should take this summer to reflect on the past and get over it. When uni starts back, be more outgoing and be friendly. I have found that if you are friendly with people, they will be friendly with you. Slowly but surly you will be able to move on with your life.
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discombobulation
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#8
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#8
Thank you for your responses!

I guess I have been friendly and I have got a good group of friends now but I feel...I know it sounds stupoid but like I'm not really being me, like I need one person who I can truly be myself with!

Ah, this sucks!!!
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