Disabled girl, dont know how to react. Watch

Titch89
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#61
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#61
(Original post by IanDangerously)
If you don't want to help her, then don't.
How rude.
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IanDangerously
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#62
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#62
(Original post by Titch89)
How rude.
How is that rude exactly? It's perfectly logical in my opinion. It's a legitimate choice that should be considered.
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Titch89
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#63
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#63
Well if she is struggling, it is wrong (IMO) just to stand there and not bother helping her.
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emilY?
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#64
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#64
(Original post by Ella_belle)
Who says she asked the OP to help her with anything? All that we know is that she had to be shown to use the washing machine (not necessarily by the OP) - something which barely anyone would have noticed if she didn't have a disability. If she needed a carer she would have one, she clearly doesn't, so the OP shouldn't worry about what is morally 'right'. If she needs a hand with something - as I'm sure most roommates do from time to time - it would probably be nice for the OP to help, but I very much doubt that she'll need washing, feeding and putting to bed.

I am actually shocked at the arachaic view of disability that some people have on this forum.
I agree entirely.

Its like...
Oh, what was that noise? Ah just my faith in humanity whooshing out through the nearest open window.
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Veni_vidi
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#65
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#65
make her feel comfortable first, she might be thinking you just want to help her because you think she can't do it herself, so make it seem like you are being polite rather than showing her she can't do it properly, don't over do things when offering to help just act normal.
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faber niger
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#66
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#66
You shouldn't have to be a carer because you have been allocated to live with someone who may well need specialist help. It's evidently not fair. On her, or you. I'd ask to change rooms, I'm sure she won't take it personally. Such de facto responsibilities should not be yours.
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Titch89
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#67
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#67
(Original post by jismith1989)
Such de facto responsibilities should not be yours.
:confused: The OP has only been asked to show her to use the washing machine.

I am actually shocked at the arachaic view of disability that some people have on this forum.
Me as well.

If it was an able-bodied person, would you lot also refuse to help them?
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emilY?
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#68
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#68
(Original post by jismith1989)
You shouldn't have to be a carer because you have been allocated to live with someone who may well need specialist help. It's evidently not fair. On her, or you. I'd ask to change rooms, I'm sure she won't take it personally. Such de facto responsibilities should not be yours.

Who the nellllly said she needs caring for??!!!!

Disability=invalid does it?

My, oh my.


*is starting to get a teency bit irritated* Sorry.
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fatal
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#69
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#69
(Original post by RoEmKa)
Well, I assume she is capable of leading an independent life or she would not be where she is. Also, she cannot be that 'slow' if she is at college/uni either!
Uni doesn't automatically mean that you are intelligent or have common sense.

OP I understand how you must feel, the obligation to help someone but not being able to connect with her as a friend, just keep tryin! x
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zzzzzoe
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#70
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#70
i think you already know the answer to this question...
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Lalli
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#71
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#71
(Original post by layla_1234)
it is a hnd and u need one a level to get in. also she is disabled - has dsylexic so gets extra help.

she has dyslexic? are you sure you dont need the extra help?


and so what if she talks slow and mutters thats not a good enough reason not to help her. simple as if you dont want to help then dont you have no legal obligation to help her. get over it.

she hasn't got a mental disability and just because she talks slow doesnt mean she should be treated differently. I know people who have no disablities and yet they talk as slow as hell; stutter and make no sense but I wouldn't discriminate against them
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jeh_jeh
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#72
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#72
Guys - if the girl DID need specialist help (and "specialist" is more than being shown to use the washing machine, by the way!) she'd have it. Universities are actually really good and won't just leave someone in a room if they need more help. Seriously, if she was able-bodied and needed help, this thread wouldn't even exist!

I agree with others in that the attitude to disability here is shocking! I thought we'd come out of the dark ages...
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Es*
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#73
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#73
This thread is really quite unbelievable.

If anyone spoke about me in this way, or even thought about me in this way, I would be mortified (followed by angry and indignant).

OP - it sounds like you are a little ignorant and havn't come across disabled people before. This woman is just like anyone else. She may communicate slightly differently. That requires you to be patient, and you will soon pick it up. She may never be your best friend - no one ever gets on with everyone - especially randomly asigned roomates. However, you ought to give her the same time and effort as anyone else - get to know her, you may find *shock horror* that she's a really nice person, or you may come back to your original conclusion that she's not destined to be your friend.

Being asked for help with the washing machine is really no different to being asked to help someone with any other small task (e.g. making tea for several people, not just yourself). No man is an island - just because a disabled person wants assistance doesn't mean this is 'care' nor that it is unreasonable. A little bit of interdependance runs both ways.
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Ella_belle
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#74
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#74
(Original post by Anonymous)
we are at camp.
(Original post by Anonymous)
We went to the laundrette and she needed to be shown how to use it, even though she has lived at uni for two years.
Wait, wait, wait.

You guys are at camp - you went to the laundrette, and assumed that she must be incredibly backward because she wasn't sure how to use the washing machine despite being at uni? Because the washing machines in the laundrette are clearly exactly the same as those at every university? Because everyone has a washing machine crash course during Freshers' Week and only the severely mentally ill wouldn't understand? And naturally, everyone else on this thread jumps onto the idea that this clearly means that she can't perform even the most basic tasks, basically requiring you to retrain as a professional carer and dedicate the rest of your life to helping her.

*sigh*
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Anonymous #1
#75
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#75
I was using the washing machine as an example. Her speach and communication is simple. If she did not have CP I would not be speaking to her, we have nothing in common..
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Titch89
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#76
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#76
(Original post by Anonymous)
If she did not have CP I would not be speaking to her, we have nothing in common..
How mean. It sounds like you're just talking to her because you feel sorry for her/feel you have to.
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Spotty Dog
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#77
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#77
(Original post by Anonymous)
I was using the washing machine as an example. Her speach and communication is simple. If she did not have CP I would not be speaking to her, we have nothing in common..
Sorry, what is it to you to judge that someones communication is 'simple'. Different does not equal simple. And clearly you do have something in common with this woman or else you wouldn't be at the same camp together for crying out loud.

Honestly, I agree with a few other posters here; The general view of disability here is APPALING. I mean, if someone who was clearly able asked you for help to work a washing machine, would you come to a forum like this and moan about it? "God, this girl asked me how to use the washing machine today. Am I really going to have to look after her the whole time?!" I doubt it.

I still to do this day cannot work out hot my DVD player works - I have no idea what channel it needs to be on. Does that make me a worse person? Is someone going to have to show me everything from now until the end of time because of this?

Grr. Spotty Dog is angry now.
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Eccentric Man
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#78
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#78
I admit I've been spamming this thread as it really pisses me off. However, as a student just finished his second year with cp i'll happily answer any question as long as it has been formulated with 5 more braincells than the average of this thread.
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RightSaidJames
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#79
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#79
(Original post by Eccentric Man)
I admit I've been spamming this thread as it really pisses me off. However, as a student just finished his second year with cp i'll happily answer any question as long as it has been formulated with 5 more braincells than the average of this thread.
I have a question, purely out of interest; is typing much of a problem for people with CP?
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ajdrools
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#80
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#80
At the end of the day, whilst it is polite to look after the girl, i can see where the OP is coming from.
I wouldn't mind helping a stranger as a one off on the street, but being landed into having to help the stranger everyday, wouldn't be nice. it's not really fair on the OP.
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