Bah, there's nothing I can do... Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
So I just forget about it, right?

A good friend of mine introduced me to this girl the other week, who he'd met up with having not seen her for a while. Anyway, we get on really really well, have a lot in common and it's great just chatting to her, as she's taking an interest back rather than me just firing questions at her like is so often the case. My friend told me that he thought I had a chance, as he'd seen her eyeing me up a bit, to which I was obviously pleased. Anyway, we end up having too much to drink and the night ends in an array of kissing (her kissing me and her kissing my friend too) and sexual discussion.
It's pretty clear to me though that she is more into my mate than me, which is a bit disappointing, but that's the way it goes, good for him. However, I did get her number at some point during the night and so I texted her a few days later just saying it was nice to meet her, etc and hope to see her again soon. She replied similar, and said she hoped to see me *and* my friend again soon. This confused me a bit but pretty much confirmed that she is far more into him.
We agreed to all go out again, which we did last week, and it was really great to see her again. She's just so easy to talk to, really nice looking, and just really cool to be with. We chat a lot again, I'm making her laugh a lot, and she really takes an interest in me back, so I think perhaps it isn't a lost cause.
Until I overheard my friend offering her a bed round his for the night, which she obviously accepts. No prizes for guessing what actually happened. He doesn't know the extent to which I like her, just that I think she's really nice, so I can't really blame him. Even so, if she is more into him then it'd be silly of me to get in the way.

So anyway, I guess my point is, what to do? To be honest, I've not taken it particularly well and have had the hump all weekend. It's so fantastic meeting a girl who is almost ideal for you not just lookswise but personalitywise as well, and it's so incredibly depressing when she prefers your mate!
I know I need to speak to my mate and find out if it was just sex or more than that, i.e. a relationship. If just sex, I might as well try and see her again because even if nothing does happen between us, she'd be great to have as a friend and would be a shame to just ignore her from now on because she prefers my friend.
However, if it is a relationship, well, seeing her will probably only frustrate me further.
My current plan is to just find out from my mate what the deal is with him and her and go from there, hoping it was just a shag and then try to perhaps take her out just me and her. Then again, I really feel a bit of a knob treading on my mates toes and chasing her tail when she's made it pretty clear that she prefers my friend. But then again again, she doesn't know I like her.

Gaahhhh. To be honest, I just want to forget about the whole thing, but I can't seem to think of much else at the moment. It's so frustrating when you finally meet one of those ideal girls and there's always a complication.

Sorry if this doesn't make a great deal of sense, had to vent!
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sdt
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#2
Report 11 years ago
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She prefers your friend because you were too weak to have what you deserved.
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VengefulSpoon
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#3
Report 11 years ago
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I'd fprget about her. One thing that makes me wary of how you go about things in the post was 'rather than me just firing questions at her like is so often the case.'.I think you need to just relax more around more girls, stop with the question firing, n if they like you they'll make more effort to try to talk to you.
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Joist
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#4
Report 11 years ago
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What do you mean, std?

And Vengeful, I think you could have misinterpreted- I simply meant it was a nice change from the type of girls that just want to talk about themselves.
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VengefulSpoon
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Joist)
I think you could have misinterpreted- I simply meant it was a nice change from the type of girls that just want to talk about themselves.
Yep, definately mis-intepreted that, sorry. Girls love talking about themselves, n love a good listener a lot more - play on that
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Joist
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#6
Report 11 years ago
#6
But that's what was great- the fact that she wanted to talk about me rather than herself!
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paul09
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#7
Report 11 years ago
#7
Hey, to be honest mate, trying to understand what you are saying i think i can say that we do have a great deal of understanding i mean quite a lot of lads got to this point were everything seems so perfect and then moments later before you know it, its became a fantasy, it stays on your mind for maybe 2 weeks strongly then starts to fade as you become used to the fact etc!

What i would suggest i mean u don't have to do it but i am a counselor so.... but anyway, just speak with your friend maybe suggest to him "that girls really nice, so is anything actually happening with use?" if not see if you can entice your friend to realizing that you actually think you have fallen for her! If they have got something going then you know that dreaming, thinking, becoming down about her is the wrong way to be you just need to think of the positives about it.

Looking at the whole situation on a whole you seem like a nice lad who wants some one to settle with, this girl u speak of comes across as a girl who wants fun, playing with 2 mates, good mates i persume? It's not the best thing to do, get out, go on msn, go on myspace, find something to do, get your mind off it, i found that helping others n going to jujitsu helped me get out of this warp i thought i was trapped in not so long ago

Anyways mate hope i helped and good luck (Y) xx
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SuicideCommando
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#8
Report 11 years ago
#8
Sticky situation, aye!
Well you know what to do first.. and that's to talk to your friend.
&& then.. this is what I'd do.
You know those stupid blog things a lot of people have, which ask questions like "Are we close?" "Could you see me as a bf/gf?" etc.
I'd get her to fill in one of them..!!!
x
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Joist
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#9
Report 11 years ago
#9
Cheers guys.

Firstly, lol me having the OP as anonymous then forgetting to do the same fo rmy replies

Thanks Paul and SC, that's helpful. I'll try and speak to him a bit later and have a chat, see what's happening. I know it's a stupid thought, meeting ideal girls at the age of 18, but when they do pop up it's hard to ignore.

Feeling slightly better than yesterday though, so hopefully it'll all have blown over in a week or so.
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paul09
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#10
Report 11 years ago
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nice to know we helped nytime ye need more help, pop me a message n we'll see what we can do ay ! take care x
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Joist
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#11
Report 11 years ago
#11
Sighhh...

Well, since the last post I've spoke to my mate and he really is such a top guy and it's all fine with him, however:

We went out last night, me, my friend, the girl, and a couple of other guys and...I just can't get enough of her, she's amazing. I just love talking to her, spending time with her, she's so lovely. She gives me the right vibes, kissed me, had a bit of a cuddle and some deep chatting, but I get the feeling she feels the way about my friend that I feel about her! It really completely sucks.

I don't really know what to do...It's so disheartening seeing them together, all kissy cuddly and couply, grrr I want that with her!! I don't want to tell her how I feel because firstly I only met her a few weeks ago, and secondly I really don't want to get in the way of any relationship they may be building. If she's happy with my friend, then that's what matters and I shouldn't try to get in the way. I'm also a bit afraid to tell her how I feel, as I know that the answer will be she just really likes my mate and then it's confirmed that there's no real hope for me. At least at the moment there's the tiny teeny glimmer.

But it's stupid anyway, I'm hopefully going to uni in September whereas she is staying at college so even if I was with her, that'd be a problem and it'll only end up hurting me/her.

I know I'm too young for this stuff and that I should just enjoy life at the moment, but...all I want to do is spend time with her and show how much I like her, and for the last 2 weeks or so I've not been able to think of anything else.

Helllllpppp
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Joist
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#12
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Oh, and the last two times we've all been out, her and my friend have stayed at each others places both nights, which just rubs salt in the wound!!
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Joist
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#13
Report 11 years ago
#13
Come on, I need some unrequited love stories!

All I wanna do is cry but I keep telling myself not to be such a fooking prat. Christ, I was a regular twice-a-day masturbator, now I can't even get motivated at all, it's weird. Just keep thinking about her.
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sdt
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#14
Report 11 years ago
#14
(Original post by Joist)
What do you mean, std?

And Vengeful, I think you could have misinterpreted- I simply meant it was a nice change from the type of girls that just want to talk about themselves.
It's SDT , I don't have gonorrhea. I don't know how to make a suitable analogy... Essentially, you need to man up. Look down there, what do you see? If it looks like this -

http://www.destination360.com/north-...monument-s.jpg

You're game.

If she's happy with my friend, then that's what matters and I shouldn't try to get in the way. I'm also a bit afraid to tell her how I feel, as I know that the answer will be she just really likes my mate and then it's confirmed that there's no real hope for me. At least at the moment there's the tiny teeny glimmer.
See what I mean? You've played judge, jury and executioner on yourself before the crime. Is this Minority Report?


I don't really know what to do...
Err, yes you bloody well do:
It's so disheartening seeing them together, all kissy cuddly and couply, grrr I want that with her!!
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