I’m really confused about my gender identity lol Watch

Jeesus
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Okay so I’ve had a weird relationship with who I am and I have no idea what box I fit in. So I’m biologically female, however how I’ve felt about my gender identity has fluctuated for my entire life. From the moment I could speak and grasp the concept of gender when I was very young, I told my parents in a boy and felt like a boy. I remember spending hours arguing with my parents over this because I was like “I’m a boy!!” Them “no you a girlllllll.” As I got older in my childhood I dressed in boys clothes and was convinced I was just a tomboy. When I reached 13 I stopped wearing all clothes from the boys section and started presenting myself more feminine. I thought I was a tomboy until I was 17 when I had a bit of a breakdown (over something unrelated) but indirectly made me question who I was again because I also found out that being a transmale was a thing; the idea appealed to me- but i wasn’t in a position of complete dysphoria over keeping my current biological gender. I’m 20 now and I still have no clue lol, like I have never felt completely female- but gradually in life neither completely male, like a mix of both yet I still present myself as female with a slight desire to do drag lol. I do have mild dysphoria at times because I do envy the traits that guys possess like muscles and strength and facial hair, which occasionally makes me despise my petite harmless looking physic. I don’t know whether I’m just genderqueer/non binary or actually trans but feelings have been repressed by social conditioning. Or maybe I just shouldn’t label myself and this was a waste of time ahah
Last edited by Jeesus; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
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hey! I actually can't relate to your story, but I can kinda understand what you mean. I guess I never questioned sexuality or gender identity when I was younger but I never thought of myself as a 100% straight. I have never been in love or obsessed with anyone. When I was 16 I realized I had a crush on my best friend(female). After that, I thought hey, maybe I'm bi, or maybe it's just her that I like. But over the years, I've been questioning myself again. Am I even attracted to guys? Am I a lesbian? Bi? queer?
To be honest I'm still trying to figure that one out.
My take on this is: you don't have to put a label on anything. But if you feel the need to do it, don't be afraid to question yourself. It can take time, or not. But just do whatever you need to do to be happy and be comfortable within your skin
(and remember that everyone is still here for you no matter who you decide you are)

Sorry about all this rambling haha
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Jeesus
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hey! I actually can't relate to your story, but I can kinda understand what you mean. I guess I never questioned sexuality or gender identity when I was younger but I never thought of myself as a 100% straight. I have never been in love or obsessed with anyone. When I was 16 I realized I had a crush on my best friend(female). After that, I thought hey, maybe I'm bi, or maybe it's just her that I like. But over the years, I've been questioning myself again. Am I even attracted to guys? Am I a lesbian? Bi? queer?
To be honest I'm still trying to figure that one out.
My take on this is: you don't have to put a label on anything. But if you feel the need to do it, don't be afraid to question yourself. It can take time, or not. But just do whatever you need to do to be happy and be comfortable within your skin
(and remember that everyone is still here for you no matter who you decide you are)

Sorry about all this rambling haha
Thankyou this is really supportive and helpful I appreciate
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WanderStruck
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You could be nonbinary! It was very much a relief when I figured out I was.
And for the record, nonbinary doesn't have to be your gender. It's sometimes used by people as an umbrella term for lots of genders, such as agender or genderfluid!
You don't need to put labels on things, but don't be scared to experiment! All that matters is that you feel comfortable!
Good luck! <3
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by A Rolling Stone)
xx = Female, xy = male.

get a genetic test done.
it isn't about that - gender is how you feel, sex is biological.
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(Original post by Jeesus)
Okay so I’ve had a weird relationship with who I am and I have no idea what box I fit in. So I’m biologically female, however how I’ve felt about my gender identity has fluctuated for my entire life. From the moment I could speak and grasp the concept of gender when I was very young, I told my parents in a boy and felt like a boy. I remember spending hours arguing with my parents over this because I was like “I’m a boy!!” Them “no you a girlllllll.” As I got older in my childhood I dressed in boys clothes and was convinced I was just a tomboy. When I reached 13 I stopped wearing all clothes from the boys section and started presenting myself more feminine. I thought I was a tomboy until I was 17 when I had a bit of a breakdown (over something unrelated) but indirectly made me question who I was again because I also found out that being a transmale was a thing; the idea appealed to me- but i wasn’t in a position of complete dysphoria over keeping my current biological gender. I’m 20 now and I still have no clue lol, like I have never felt completely female- but gradually in life neither completely male, like a mix of both yet I still present myself as female with a slight desire to do drag lol. I do have mild dysphoria at times because I do envy the traits that guys possess like muscles and strength and facial hair, which occasionally makes me despise my petite harmless looking physic. I don’t know whether I’m just genderqueer/non binary or actually trans but feelings have been repressed by social conditioning. Or maybe I just shouldn’t label myself and this was a waste of time ahah
Perhaps you're just a female that likes some male traits? There was a time where if a male was a bit feminine, and not all muscular and dominant, they'd just be regarded as a feminine man. Nowadays, the assumption will be, 'oh, you must be a woman then'. Society over complicates things nowadays. The way you feel 'never completely female'. There's plenty of guys who have short height that 'never completely feel male' (due to the whole men needing to big and strong, like a superhero). Just not falling 100% into the stereotype of what exactly a woman should be, or a man should be, doesn't mean you have to identify as something else. It's over complicating things like this that cause so many people problems.
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Perhaps you're just a female that likes some male traits? There was a time where if a male was a bit feminine, and not all muscular and dominant, they'd just be regarded as a feminine man. Nowadays, the assumption will be, 'oh, you must be a woman then'. Society over complicates things nowadays. The way you feel 'never completely female'. There's plenty of guys who have short height that 'never completely feel male' (due to the whole men needing to big and strong, like a superhero). Just not falling 100% into the stereotype of what exactly a woman should be, or a man should be, doesn't mean you have to identify as something else. It's over complicating things like this that cause so many people problems.
I agree, unless there's dysphoria involved. But yeah. society definitely over complicates things, I think we should just be able to be comfortable as ourselves !
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Biological female so boom theres your answer! Identify as a what u want but your still a female!!

I'm a guy and born a guy so I identi6like that

The first gun that I saw, I was young

I was 15 putting corn in pumps because they shooting XD
yikes thats kinda transphobic dude lol
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A Rolling Stone
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(Original post by WanderStruck)
it isn't about that - gender is how you feel, sex is biological.
your feelings are not above science.
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by A Rolling Stone)
your feelings are not above science.
Science also proves gender dysphoria is a real mental illness related to trans issues. Science also records the state of trans suicides. Science also proves that biological sex is different to gender, hence the separate names.
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ThomH97
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Act and dress how you like. Decent people will often find you unusual, but won't intend malice if they refer to you as a he or she as those labels are what work for them. You don't need to identify as a specific label yourself, but use one just for convenience if you have to.
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(Original post by WanderStruck)
Science also proves gender dysphoria is a real mental illness related to trans issues. Science also records the state of trans suicides. Science also proves that biological sex is different to gender, hence the separate names.
Science doesn't distinguish biological sex from gender. It states that it's the same thing. It's like someone with 6 fingers. You don't regard them as a different type of person, you just regard them as an anomaly. Same thing with people who believe they're something that they're not, they're an anomaly, not a different type of gender. And where are the studies that show suicide rates are higher among trans people?
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A Rolling Stone
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(Original post by WanderStruck)
Science also proves gender dysphoria is a real mental illness related to trans issues. Science also records the state of trans suicides. Science also proves that biological sex is different to gender, hence the separate names.
the OP suffers from gender dysphoria, rather than being a different gender to his/her sex. gender = sex. this is science.
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Science doesn't distinguish biological sex from gender. It states that it's the same thing. It's like someone with 6 fingers. You don't regard them as a different type of person, you just regard them as an anomaly. Same thing with people who believe they're something that they're not, they're an anomaly, not a different type of gender. And where are the studies that show suicide rates are higher among trans people?
Well, it depends if you count psychology as a science. And it's not that they're higher, it's that there are a lot of suicides caused by gender dysphoria (the mental illness that occurs when someone is transgender. It can usually be 'cured' or 'helped' by transitioning)
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by A Rolling Stone)
the OP suffers from gender dysphoria, rather than being a different gender to his/her sex. gender = sex. this is science.
I don't think OP does suffer from gender dysphoria? They didn't say as such. Gender is mental, sex is biological, I respect your opinion but if you're gonna keep repeating the same thing then I just cba if I'm honest. It's late lol
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A Rolling Stone
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(Original post by WanderStruck)
I don't think OP does suffer from gender dysphoria? They didn't say as such. Gender is mental, sex is biological, I respect your opinion but if you're gonna keep repeating the same thing then I just cba if I'm honest. It's late lol
it's not my opinion, it's fact - it's science.
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(Original post by WanderStruck)
Well, it depends if you count psychology as a science. And it's not that they're higher, it's that there are a lot of suicides caused by gender dysphoria (the mental illness that occurs when someone is transgender. It can usually be 'cured' or 'helped' by transitioning)
I wasn't referring to psychology, I was referring to biology. Science works off objective measures, whereas transgender people go off how they feel, which is a subjective measure. Science and feelings don't mix in that sense. And if it's a mental illness then why not treat it by removing it? Because helping them transition, according to the logic you've presented, would only mean you're helping them give in to their mental illness. That's like telling a depressed person that they should live out a miserable, depressed lifestyle.
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by A Rolling Stone)
it's not my opinion, it's fact - it's science.
It isn't fact, because you're wrong. but go off.
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I wasn't referring to psychology, I was referring to biology. Science works off objective measures, whereas transgender people go off how they feel, which is a subjective measure. Science and feelings don't mix in that sense. And if it's a mental illness then why not treat it by removing it? Because helping them transition, according to the logic you've presented, would only mean you're helping them give in to their mental illness. That's like telling a depressed person that they should live out a miserable, depressed lifestyle.
The only way to treat it is by transitioning. As I said. It isn't 'giving in' - it's making them comfortable in their own bodies. It's making them who they are. Watch the Danish Girl.
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