How long you should know someone for untill you get married Watch

LaurenFah
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#61
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#61
I think knowing you want to marry someone can happen very quickly, but the being ready for marriage can take much longer.
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randdom
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#62
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#62
As many people have said before me it really depends on the person. For me the relationship would have to be right and I would have to be at a sensible age. My ex propsed to me when we were 15/16 and I said no because a) we were too young and b) the relationship wasn't right. My second boyfriend who I was with for over four years and lived with didn't propose but if he had I probably still would have said no because I would have felt that it was too young.

With my current boyfriend we have only been together for ten months and while we have discussed the idea of marriage it is still in the one day we will hopefully do that stage. I think I would need to be with a guy for at least a couple of years before I would consider marriage and probably have lived with them for a bit too. I would also probably want to be 24+
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strawberry
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#63
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#63
there's no set time, but like someone posted in another thread, there are five phases of a relationship...and you shouldn't get married until you've gone through all five.
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tmaccy2
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#64
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#64
Well I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months now and we've discussed marriage quite a bit. We've had a strong understanding of each other from the start; we knew each other's personalities inside out pretty early. I love him more everyday.

We're both about to head into Uni so maybe a while after uni is over (4 or so years together?) it will happen but who knows!

In a way I think that having a long-term relationship at this age (18) and trying to make it work is a real test. Going though such a stressful time (exams, changes socially and personally, important decisions) puts strains on the relationship. Especially if you're going to separate universities. Some people will get through it together, some people will struggle.

It all depends on the people though. I think it is best to leave it at least a year or so though...I'd want to know the person inside out before marriage =]
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Boo_2
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#65
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#65
I think it varies a great deal! Some older couples meet and decide to get married within a few months because 'time is running out' and they think that they aren't going to get anyoene else who is better for them... Whereas younger couples tend to wait longer because they have their whole lives ahead of them and that leaves a lot of time to get to know someone before marrying them. However there are of course exceptions to both of these examples!
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icapturethecastle
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#66
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#66
it completely depends
take 2 couples tat i know of
one got married after 6 months
the other are gettingmarried this autumn, after 12 years

:p:
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Angelil
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#67
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#67
(Original post by jaydoh)
My brother has known his gf about 7 months and they are getting married soon, it just depends on the couple.
But that example is hardly an indication of how long you SHOULD know someone for before getting married, as they're not married yet, so you don't know if it's even going to be a success yet.

Plus, all of the examples from our parents' generation fail to acknowledge that times were very different then - far fewer people went to university, for a start, and many people were financially independent sooner.
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Miss.Naughty
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#68
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#68
I don't personally think it's a question of how long should you be with someone before you consider getting married, i think if you know deep down that you love and know this person and they feel the same, and if it's at the right time of life etc etc, then i would consider getting married to this person.
I couldn't say how long, becasue you don't know. It could be 1 year, 5 months, months, 10 years. But you can never say.
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cuddles x
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#69
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#69
Thanks for the answers everyone x
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storminaDcup
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#70
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#70
don't confuse love with lust though...you may think you love them, but you got to get past that honeymoon stage of your relationship first...because if you marry before that has gone, you could be very disapointed/confused
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Last Kiss
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#71
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#71
5 years at least. You can't rush something so serious.
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cuddles x
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#72
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#72
so many different views on this !!!
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ElleWest123
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#73
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#73
I don't think there is really a set time, it depends on your age as, as you get older you both get more experienced of what you wnat out of a relationship and you are more experienced to make a decision where as say you had been together for 2 years but were only 18 how could u prossibly say i'm gonna be devoted and love that other person for the rest of my life, cos compared to 70 years of marriage say, 2 years is nothing. But it's really down to the couple isn't it?
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bubblez_4565
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#74
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#74
i think that marriage is one of those things which you and only you will know when it feels right. if that happens to be 2 weeks or 20 years into a relationship so be it.
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*pitseleh*
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#75
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#75
(Original post by strawberry)
there's no set time, but like someone posted in another thread, there are five phases of a relationship...and you shouldn't get married until you've gone through all five.
What are those meant to be?

(Original post by Last Kiss)
5 years at least. You can't rush something so serious.
See.. that might be a benchmark, but I definitely don't think it's a rule. My parents only knew each other for a year or two before they got married, and they're celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary next year. One of my sisters knew her husband for about two years before they got engaged - they're still happily married 15 years later. My other sister has been married for four years, and was engaged about three years into her relationship. It doesn't make much sense to say "you can't rush into something so serious", when I see so much evidence to the contrary around me - and that's before I even get on to the topic of friends in the same sort of position.

That's not to say it works for everyone - or even most people - just that sometimes, "early" marriages work out very well.
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Angelil
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#76
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#76
As I understand it, the five phases are as delineated here:
http://www.videojug.com/interview/th...a-relationship
(attraction; honeymoon; reality; commitment; marriage)
That link was given earlier in this thread, I think. However, I find the above link slightly flawed in that a) what authority does this guy have exactly and b) not every successful relationship has to culminate in marriage/civil partnership, and many couples who do marry end up divorcing...
But on the whole it has some useful things to say.

Ellen - wrt your parents, that's great news My parents are similar - they will have been married for 30 years next year. However, I think times back then were very different - fewer people went to university and were thus out working, meaning they were financially independent sooner, and that getting married was a more viable possibility at a younger age for those in long-term relationships (my parents were 19 and 20). I honestly think such examples of young and subsequently long-lasting marriages are the exception, rather than the rule, and are very much dependent upon the time in which they took place.
Plus, of the examples you give, one of the marriages is still a pretty young marriage (four years - my aunt and uncle divorced pretty acrimoniously after 10 years). So I'd still be slightly sceptical...sorry
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J-D
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#77
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My bf proposed after 3 months of being together (we were best friends for ages) at the top of the Eiffel Tower on our last holiday b4 he joined the RAF. Of course, I said yes, I know he's the right guy 4 me. But I dont want to get married for at least another 5 years until iv finished uni etc
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Angelil
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#78
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How can you know you're totally compatible with someone if you've never lived together (which presumably you haven't after a 3-month relationship)? Just curious. I'd been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years before we lived together and even then I was a little nervous that it might be a total disaster! Luckily it wasn't :p: but you can never rule out that possibility.
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FadedJade
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#79
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Personally I think you should wait at least a couple of years. Simply because the relationship changes so much in that time and you need to know that you are still compatible when the honeymoon period wears off.
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suzie_h
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#80
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#80
All depends on the person, my 1 bro proposed to his gf after 11 years of being with her and 7 years living with her. My other bro proposed to his gf on their 1st anniversary after having never lived with each other.
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