Disgust, Deppression, Despair Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
(Anon or delete please)

Earlier this morning, my girlfriend dumped me. She said that she had too much going on in her life at the moment and didnt want the hassle of a boyfriend. When i asked if we could get back together after she had sorted her life out she replied 'Sorry, no. I want a fresh start and that means without you'. I have been going out with this girl for 2 years and they have been the happiest 2 years of my life. I have put loads of effort into our relationship and now it is all for nothing. I feel dead inside, i dont feel anything. It is like there is something wrong with me. I feel hatred at my girlfriend for doing this to me and but i feel completley upset because i know i have lost the best thing in my life. I wouldnt wish what i feel now on anyone. I just want to curl up and die so that i dont have to feel this anymore. I just dont know what to do.

Has anyone been through this, and come out the other side? if so, how?
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katerose
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#2
Report 11 years ago
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Take one day at a time. Pretty much everyone has to go through this at some point. It happened to me in the middle of being very depressed as well, so it was a double whammy. Ultimately, although what you had was a good thing, if she needs a fresh start there's not much you can do to work with that - and there's no relationship if it's all on one side. Try to work with your grieving and allow yourself to do it, and then work on getting your own life to a good point so that you're happy with yourself and not only happy in a relationship - being dependent on someone else for your happiness means you're giving your power to them and not looking after your own best interests. Not good.

You will come through this, even if now, and for the next few months, it feels like you won't. I know it feels like you've bothered for nothing (and I can't disagree with you on this viewpoint because that's how I felt at the time) but I find it helps just to see it as fate, and to not attach any expectations of a relationship just because you put a lot of effort into it - love is a gamble and there are no guarantees. I hope you feel better soon, and it will take a while, but one day you'll wake up in the morning and the pain won't be the first, or even the second thing you think about. Good luck.
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supernova2
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Report 11 years ago
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Happens to everyone. Just got to chin-up and move on.
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