abigail_92
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#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
OK on tuesday it is my birthday and also my mates birthday so she has booked a meal, she says it can be a joint think for both of our birthdays.

however she has invited loads of people and not told me who she has invited, she has not really said that i can invite anyone just one girl that we are both friends with that she doesnt get on with and booked a table with out even telling me that she was changing the date because on the tuesday when she said she was going to book she found out that her mum had already got plans for her, but how did she know that i was not doing something on monday?

i really dont even know if i should bother going as i think it is going to be a little akward as she has not even told some of the people that she has invited that it is my birthday too

what should i do? as it is tomorrow
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misswilliams
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#2
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so basically she has totally taken over and even though it is a "joint" thing not included you in any way?

don't go and do something else with YOUR friends instead.
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theredwindmill
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ditto, go and do something with your friends, she has completly forgotten about the joint part. the same happened to me, i was having a joint party and i wasn't asked about anything, everything was decided for me. I didn't go and went out with my other friends.
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Norfolkadam
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(Original post by misswilliams)
don't go and do something else with YOUR friends instead.
I agree. Presumably the house will be empty if she is out so go home and have a meal at home, your friends will be happy to be with you whatever.

Unless of course this is all part of an elaborate suprise birthday party.
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mollymustard
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Yes, it sounds like she has totally taken over your birthday plans.

I've had this happen to me before. Once a friend of mine decided to hold a 'sleepover' on my birthday and decided not to invite me in case I took over her celebrations. All my friends went and I was left rediculously isolated

Your mate sounds totally selfish. I suggest you make some alternative plans with decent mates, and go wild in your own way. Its much better to have a day thats centralised around you than to be just another lemming at someone elses birthday party.
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lostdoll
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#6
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I agree with everyone else. That sounds ****e. It's your birthday too but it's obvious she's forgotten that fact. I wouldn't bother going, instead celebrate your birthday how you want to (even if it's still a meal, but you can take control of who you want to invite, when it is etc) and make sure you enjoy yourself.
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abigail_92
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#7
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
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thanks everyone for your suggestions even some of my mates were thinking about not going so i'll see as she hasn't even texted me to finalise things
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Age_of_Innocence
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Ditto to everybody else. If you want to avoid offending this girl - she sounds quite selfish but it's your call - just tell her some of your friends have organised something instead somewhere else and you won't be able to make hers. If it's a surprise party though that little bit of deceit might be exposed..
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laurenlodge
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#9
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Agree with everything said before - you shouldn't spend your birthday without your friends if that's what you want.
Just explain - if all her other friends were going anyway she probably won't mind so much if you and yours do something else.

EDIT: Oh, and happy birthday for Tuesday
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spex
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Instead of crying about it, go and confront her. She may have just forgotten about you innocently. There's no point making her out to be the bad guy when she may not even have meant it. Obviously if she's intentionally cutting you out then there's a problem, so tell her what you just told us and see what she does before coming to any misguided conclusions. No need to despair just yet.

I've seen so many relationships broken because somebody made a decision based on bad or incomplete information...
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