Should i tell my husband to kick out his 18 year old son?

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Sorrynonono
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I am married to an older man (58). I have been married to him for 9 months.

I grew up alone. I grew up in my abusive uncles household. I met my husband 3 years ago. He helped me a lot, he was the only nice person i ever met. even in school people bullied me. he was more like a friend at first.He is really special to me.

I am a serious person, like i never got taught to enjoy life like other kids. I had to be calm and shut my mouth all the time. My step son is the opposite. He is loud, he drinks a lot, he makes a lot of parties home, he brings girls home, he whores all the time. He is a month older than me though but we are both 18.

My husband is away a lot of days and in those days, my step son makes the house up side down. I sleep at 22:00, his parties begins at 00:00. I cant sleep with a lot of drunk guys around the house. I cant go to drink water because i dont want to walk next to those drunk idiot people. The worst is, some days ago he had a foursome home, like really? he is irresponsible, disrespectful and dumb.

I talked to my step son first, i told him to act like an adult, i know he is young but still he can act mature till he becomes mature. he just laughed at my face.

So, now i want to ask my husband to kick him for this reasons:
-He is bringing a lot of trouble/danger and is being disrespectful to the people that live in the house with him.
-That he is irresponsible and needs to grow up into an adult.

He does have a lot of places he can live. Like with his older brother, college dorm, friends etc.

Should i? or am i overreacting
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Anonymous #1
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Don’t just go straight in saying you want him kicked out. First tell him about all the things the sons done and then see what he says.
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AzureCeleste
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Discuss your issues with the son with your husband. You won't have a good relationship with the son otherwise
I don't think he needs to be kicked out but his behaviour needs to change
However, I can understand why he is acting this way. He is 18 and his dad has married someone his own age- do you see how messed up that must be for him?
It's such a weird situation for him and he is probably retaliating to it
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ecolier
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An 18 year old married to a 58 year old, stepmother younger than stepson. I am surprised no one has called trolling yet.

Assuming you're not trolling - what would kicking him out achieve? Try and act his mother (it's hard) and teach him the right ways.
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Sorrynonono
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(Original post by ecolier)
An 18 year old married to a 58 year old, stepmother younger than stepson. I am surprised no one has called trolling yet.

Assuming you're not trolling - what would kicking him out achieve? Try and act his mother (it's hard) and teach him the right ways.
No, i am not trolling. ''Try and act his mother (it's hard) and teach him the right ways.'' How? he doesnt listen to me.
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Anonymous #1
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He probably doesn’t take you seriously since you’re apparently the same age, which is understandable tbh.
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ecolier
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(Original post by Sorrynonono)
No, i am not trolling. ''Try and act his mother (it's hard) and teach him the right ways.'' How? he doesnt listen to me.
Speak to his dad, if your "husband" respects you he would have a word with his son.

You also need to act like his step-mother (or at least, a woman with an 18 year old son). As I said it's not easy at all because you yourself is only 18.
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AzureCeleste
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(Original post by Sorrynonono)
No, i am not trolling. ''Try and act his mother (it's hard) and teach him the right ways.'' How? he doesnt listen to me.
Ngl, if I was in the same situation I wouldn't listen to you really ever no matter what you said to me.
I'd expect the other parent to try and sort it out and try and come to a compromise, without that discussion, no progress will be made
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username3890778
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can’t believe ppl trust tsrians enough to make decisions for married couples
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Tootles
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(Original post by Sorrynonono)
I am married to an older man (58). I have been married to him for 9 months.

I grew up alone. I grew up in my abusive uncles household. I met my husband 3 years ago. He helped me a lot, he was the only nice person i ever met. even in school people bullied me. he was more like a friend at first.He is really special to me.

I am a serious person, like i never got taught to enjoy life like other kids. I had to be calm and shut my mouth all the time. My step son is the opposite. He is loud, he drinks a lot, he makes a lot of parties home, he brings girls home, he whores all the time. He is a month older than me though but we are both 18.

My husband is away a lot of days and in those days, my step son makes the house up side down. I sleep at 22:00, his parties begins at 00:00. I cant sleep with a lot of drunk guys around the house. I cant go to drink water because i dont want to walk next to those drunk idiot people. The worst is, some days ago he had a foursome home, like really? he is irresponsible, disrespectful and dumb.

I talked to my step son first, i told him to act like an adult, i know he is young but still he can act mature till he becomes mature. he just laughed at my face.

So, now i want to ask my husband to kick him for this reasons:
-He is bringing a lot of trouble/danger and is being disrespectful to the people that live in the house with him.
-That he is irresponsible and needs to grow up into an adult.

He does have a lot of places he can live. Like with his older brother, college dorm, friends etc.

Should i? or am i overreacting
You married him, which means you take on the responsibilities a stepmother. You should have accepted that when you married him. If you haven't, you shouldn't be married in the first place.

It is not your place to replace your husband's son in his life. That you want to try and wield that kind of control over both of them shows that you just shouldn't be in that situation in the first place.

Yeesh. If I was in his position and you asked me to boot my son out, I'd first kick you out so fast you'd have a sore arse for a month, and then check myself into a mental hospital, because anyone who marries someone like you can't be firing on all cylinders.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Sorrynonono)
I am married to an older man (58). I have been married to him for 9 months.

I grew up alone. I grew up in my abusive uncles household. I met my husband 3 years ago. He helped me a lot, he was the only nice person i ever met. even in school people bullied me. he was more like a friend at first.He is really special to me.

I am a serious person, like i never got taught to enjoy life like other kids. I had to be calm and shut my mouth all the time. My step son is the opposite. He is loud, he drinks a lot, he makes a lot of parties home, he brings girls home, he whores all the time. He is a month older than me though but we are both 18.

My husband is away a lot of days and in those days, my step son makes the house up side down. I sleep at 22:00, his parties begins at 00:00. I cant sleep with a lot of drunk guys around the house. I cant go to drink water because i dont want to walk next to those drunk idiot people. The worst is, some days ago he had a foursome home, like really? he is irresponsible, disrespectful and dumb.

I talked to my step son first, i told him to act like an adult, i know he is young but still he can act mature till he becomes mature. he just laughed at my face.

So, now i want to ask my husband to kick him for this reasons:
-He is bringing a lot of trouble/danger and is being disrespectful to the people that live in the house with him.
-That he is irresponsible and needs to grow up into an adult.

He does have a lot of places he can live. Like with his older brother, college dorm, friends etc.

Should i? or am i overreacting
40 years difference the ****
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Sorrynonono
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(Original post by ecolier)
Speak to his dad, if your "husband" respects you he would have a word with his son.

You also need to act like his step-mother (or at least, a woman with an 18 year old son). As I said it's not easy at all because you yourself is only 18.
Thanks, i will try to act like his step mum
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tamil fever
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this is off-topic but do you love your husband?Forget the fact that he was the only nicest guy to you in your hard time etc but do you actually love him?I apologise for the intrusion into your personal life but the fact that you wrote about your hard time and how he was a friend at first,made me come up with this question.

Going back to the topic.You are younger than your step son so this was probably a shock to him as well and I think you have to understand that he won't listen to you as you are literally the same age.Heck I think even talking with him won't solve it.
Speak to your husband first .And 18 to be fair is still really young and of course he wants to have fun.And it's not fair to kick him out at all and I think your step-son would not like that either.And yes he should be respectful etc but I really think talking with everyone-your husband and your step-son- to come up with a decision will be the best.
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pinesandapples2001
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Why are you married to a man 40 years older than you. Your husband clearly has issues, because he married someone 3 times younger than him, which may be why his son is the way he is.
Last edited by pinesandapples2001; 1 year ago
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username4542918
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Ohhhh very weird 18 yrs old marry 55 year old man and the step son is same age as u
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HappyMedic2001
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This sounds like a “ 90 days to get married “ episode airing in the US. Lol
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Sorrynonono
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(Original post by Tootles)
You married him, which means you take on the responsibilities a stepmother. You should have accepted that when you married him. If you haven't, you shouldn't be married in the first place.

It is not your place to replace your husband's son in his life. That you want to try and wield that kind of control over both of them shows that you just shouldn't be in that situation in the first place.

Yeesh. If I was in his position and you asked me to boot my son out, I'd first kick you out so fast you'd have a sore arse for a month, and then check myself into a mental hospital, because anyone who marries someone like you can't be firing on all cylinders.
''Yeesh. If I was in his position and you asked me to boot my son out, I'd first kick you out so fast you'd have a sore arse for a month, and then check myself into a mental hospital, because anyone who marries someone like you can't be firing on all cylinders.''

Thats mean. And no, i am not trying to control anyone neither bring any harm. I just thought it will be better for him to ''leave'' and become independent/adult.
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Sorrynonono
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(Original post by AzureCeleste)
Ngl, if I was in the same situation I wouldn't listen to you really ever no matter what you said to me.
I'd expect the other parent to try and sort it out and try and come to a compromise, without that discussion, no progress will be made
Wow lol
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username3890778
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you met your husband when u were 15?!bye
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Sorrynonono
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(Original post by pinesandapples2001)
Why are you married to a man 40 years older than you. Your husband clearly has issues, because he married someone 3 times younger than him, which may be why his son is the way he is.
I married him because i love him. My husband doesnt have issues, lol and his son is just irresponsible trouble maker.
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