I don't want to be the "mistress" Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
Sorry but it's another "I like this guy..." thread

Well, i like this guy. He likes me too. But the problem is, he has a girlfriend of 2+ years. I knew this when I first met him, and continually remind myself of it, but it's getting harder and harder not to want to be with him.
We text constantly and msn, he's been asking me to meet up with him for weeks now, to which I've refused so far.
He sounds bored of his relationship and unsure of what he wants. I definately don't want to be the "mistress" so to speak. What makes it worse is that I know his girlfriend. All three off us belong to the same sports club, and she's on my team.
I've really don't know what to do, I can't cut him out completely because we see each other every week anyway (at club) but it's quite obvious something will eventually happen if things carry on the way they are. I just want some people's opinions or if they've been in a similar situation, what they did.

(keep anon or delete)
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DamnitJanet
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Ask yourself if he really liked you that much, would he still be with his girlfriend?
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Ewan
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Tell him to split up with his girlfriend. If he doesn't, then he doesn't really want you.
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:):)
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tell him you wont be the mistress
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OiaB
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#5
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cost-benefit analysis. if your emotions are getting in the way. write it down the facts. pros and cons.

i.e. you may have him but... his ex will hate you. her friends might to.

mechanical method i know.


off topic: scientology again!
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thanette
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#6
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Keep away from him-think of it from her point of view-a teammate and her boyf together. He sounds manipulative and sly-not what you really want as a bf? Also, it'd make things hard on your sports team when they find out you'd got with another member's temmate,lots of exaggerated rumours. He sounds like he wants too much cake in my opinion.
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FizzBitch
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#7
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(Original post by OiaB)
off topic: scientology again!
It's because Scientology is the solution to every problem. :p:


coughcoughcough.
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Cattleman
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Lost the anon?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ewan)
Tell him to split up with his girlfriend. If he doesn't, then he doesn't really want you.
But he's been with her for so long. We've only known eachother a few months. How can I ask him to end that, when neither of us know it'l work out
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OiaB
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But he's been with her for so long. We've only known eachother a few months. How can I ask him to end that, when neither of us know it'l work out
you take that chance - he can't keep you on the sidelines. if he does so, he's nothing more than a penis.
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thanette
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#11
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Because then you will know who he really wants to be with-don't make excuses for him like the one above, if he wants to be with you he will do the decent thing for both you, her and himself and break the relationship off. You need to show him that you won't accept being messed about if he wants to be with you-you're sacrificing enough with your team relationships already if yoo both go through with this.
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mollymustard
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Don't tell him to split up with his girlfriend - there is just no point in being demanding as he most probably won't do it.

If you don't want to be his mistress, then you need to keep the distance. Try and stay away from him as much as possible and don't participate in long chains of texts.

When you get time, explain that you are intrested in him, but that you don't want to get involved as he has a girlfriend. That way the ball is in his court and he can decide who he really wants.

In the mean time, the only way you can get over him is to spend less time talking to him and in his company.

I know what its like to be intrested in someone with a girlfriend. I've got myself stuck in one of these situations before. The only way to get through it is to admit to yourself that because of the circumstances it just can't happen.
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MSB
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(Original post by OiaB)
off topic: scientology again!
What?


I thought this topic was going to be about s&m, but in the absence of that, you've done the right thing so far. Stick to your guns, as they say.
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Veni_vidi
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(Original post by OiaB)
cost-benefit analysis. if your emotions are getting in the way. write it down the facts. pros and cons.

i.e. you may have him but... his ex will hate you. her friends might to.

mechanical method i know.


off topic: scientology again!
i love the CBA
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supernova2
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Im going to go against the flow.

Have sex with him, I'm sure it'll be even better knowing you might get caught any second! Like a danger-****.
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mdhey89
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#16
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See it from his side; he's not taking his foot off the dock until the other one is securely off the ship. He won't dump his girlfriend until he's exactly sure how you feel, so tell him. I'd do the same in his situation.
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OiaB
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(Original post by supernova2)
Im going to go against the flow.

Have sex with him, I'm sure it'll be even better knowing you might get caught any second! Like a danger-****.
your him!

:ninja:
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supernova2
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#18
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(Original post by OiaB)
your him!

:ninja:
A long term girlfriend AND a girl on the side.

If only...
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starry skies
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#19
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it will end in tears- probably yours. He's playing both of you, or trying to have his cake & eat it, and if you end up having a relationship with him (if he does dump his gf) you'll always wonder what he's doing behind your back.
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OiaB
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#20
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(Original post by supernova2)
A long term girlfriend AND a girl on the side.

If only...

that made me chuckle

girls are more hassle than they're worth :P


*let the neg reps roll* :|
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