University socialising issues. Need advice. Watch

HierophantMasque
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Second year University student here. My first year went well and I made friends, house mates and connections to potential careers, but I still feel I didn't socialise well and should have been able to achieve more in the social aspect of uni life.

I'd like some advice of some issues about myself that I think need addressing (note: I'm perfectly happy with myself and have no mental health issues nor any confidence issues).

So first off, I have an "intimidation" problem according to my house mates. I've been with a few girls and made friends despite this, but I lose a lot of potential friends because of it. My resting face is not friendly and I am not the most approachable man in terms of height and musculature. I am also rather taciturn and blunt in speech which doesn't help. I've attempted to appear more friendly, talk more and be a bit more happy when resting my face (if that makes any sense) but it isn't me and I end up getting annoyed with myself and promptly give up after a few days or hours, depending on my willpower.

Secondly my mannerisms seem out of place. My southern accent gets me sour looks and my manner of clothing sticks out amongst the hoodies and tracksuits. I cannot change my accent, and I wear the clothes I do out of self respect and respect for my professors. Loose fitting clothing like hoodies are not me in any shape or form and I do not own anything of the kind.

These "issues" have helped me in some cases. Potential career networking has been easier then me as I appear more mature and honest (according to my professor). Girls in my English course who are head over heels for the "Mr. Darcy" type like me, though my intimidation problem usually doesn't help here. But I still need advice on additional actions for socialising properly. Reading through this I realise I may seem pretentious, or even a snob and I want every chance to prove I'm not to others. So thank you in advance for any advice.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by HierophantMasque)
Second year University student here. My first year went well and I made friends, house mates and connections to potential careers, but I still feel I didn't socialise well and should have been able to achieve more in the social aspect of uni life.

I'd like some advice of some issues about myself that I think need addressing (note: I'm perfectly happy with myself and have no mental health issues nor any confidence issues).

So first off, I have an "intimidation" problem according to my house mates. I've been with a few girls and made friends despite this, but I lose a lot of potential friends because of it. My resting face is not friendly and I am not the most approachable man in terms of height and musculature. I am also rather taciturn and blunt in speech which doesn't help. I've attempted to appear more friendly, talk more and be a bit more happy when resting my face (if that makes any sense) but it isn't me and I end up getting annoyed with myself and promptly give up after a few days or hours, depending on my willpower.

Secondly my mannerisms seem out of place. My southern accent gets me sour looks and my manner of clothing sticks out amongst the hoodies and tracksuits. I cannot change my accent, and I wear the clothes I do out of self respect and respect for my professors. Loose fitting clothing like hoodies are not me in any shape or form and I do not own anything of the kind.

These "issues" have helped me in some cases. Potential career networking has been easier then me as I appear more mature and honest (according to my professor). Girls in my English course who are head over heels for the "Mr. Darcy" type like me, though my intimidation problem usually doesn't help here. But I still need advice on additional actions for socialising properly. Reading through this I realise I may seem pretentious, or even a snob and I want every chance to prove I'm not to others. So thank you in advance for any advice.
if you're a bit blunt always try to take a few seconds before replying to someone so you've thought of a positive response.
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HierophantMasque
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(Original post by claireestelle)
if you're a bit blunt always try to take a few seconds before replying to someone so you've thought of a positive response.
Thank you for your advice
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