Is she a bad person?.

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I have a friend or maybe I should say I had a friend who had weird habits. She was really nice and friendly in person and gave good advice but when it came to online texts like Facebook or WhatsApp, she would either respond very late or wouldnt respond at all.

She told me she disabled the receipent receiving feature on WhatsApp so it looked like she never read the message when she actually did. The blue ticks wouldnt show but she would read the message and not respond.

Earlier, she was responding to my messages but now she doesnt. She reads them and doesnt respond. She had mentioned it before that she intentionally disabled the blue tick feature cos people said she wouldn't respond to them and to avoid the drama, she did it.

She acted really nice but if she was so nice then why deliberately pretend to leave people unread?
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claireestelle
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#2
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perhaps they dislike giving advice online
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Dunnig Kruger
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She sounds absolutely fine to me. If she is really nice and friendly in person then that is - by far - the most important thing.

It sounds like she has the - perfectly valid viewpoint - that Facebook and WhatsApp are not things to be taken seriously at all.

Why not just enjoy her company whenever you are together and forget about all the online shenanigins?
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Oxford Mum
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She is a friend in real life, and that is all that matters. Facebook and WhatsApp is not real life.

Please don't overthink this situation.
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Fermion.
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I disable my read feature on WhatsApp. Simply because I work full time on placements, and read messages during work or on my lunch break or whatever very briefly and can only reply after work. And I don’t like people knowing if I’ve read a message or not.

This does not make her a “bad” person. Stop over-reacting.
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The Mogg
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She didn't respond to a message? Bloody hell this individual is a bloody super villain, lock them up before they commit any more atrocities
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Scotney
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#7
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This obsession with instant replies is nonsense.Son got sent a Whatsapp message today asking him to identify an insect.Within 3 mins of reading it he got another one saying 'well ?'.He had just woken up and saw a message on family group chat so only looked to check if it was anything important.Have they not heard of google it was only a dragonfly!
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Scotney)
This obsession with instant replies is nonsense.Son got sent a Whatsapp message today asking him to identify an insect.Within 3 mins of reading it he got another one saying 'well ?'.He had just woken up and saw a message on family group chat so only looked to check if it was anything important.Have they not heard of google it was only a dragonfly!
Poor son. Have other people no initiative? Or patience, for that matter? And saying "well?" That's just plain rude.

I have seen people doing that on TSR (however on this occasion the OP actually swore!) Guess how many replies he/she got? Zilch.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
She sounds absolutely fine to me. If she is really nice and friendly in person then that is - by far - the most important thing.

It sounds like she has the - perfectly valid viewpoint - that Facebook and WhatsApp are not things to be taken seriously at all.

Why not just enjoy her company whenever you are together and forget about all the online shenanigins?
Because we finished university and are now in different countries. How can you talk when the other person refuses to reply?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by The Mogg)
She didn't respond to a message? Bloody hell this individual is a bloody super villain, lock them up before they commit any more atrocities
We are living in different countries now. How do you maintain contact if the other person doesnt respond?
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username3890778
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Some people are just not that interested speaking to you. You have to accept it and move on.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by claireestelle)
perhaps they dislike giving advice online
We dont see each other anymore as we graduated and live in different countries now
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Scotney
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People are busy.She has her new life in a different country.And she is not quick to respond to messages.Here is a radical idea phone her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Scotney)
People are busy.She has her new life in a different country.And she is not quick to respond to messages.Here is a radical idea phone her.
I dont think anyone is that busy. And no I'm not calling her. When somebody cant even respond to messages, there's no point in calling her.
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Bio 7
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Not everyone likes mesaages. Maybe she's thinking if you won't bother calling her she won't bother responding to mesaages.
Last edited by Bio 7; 1 year ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Bio 7)
Not everyone likes mesaages. Maybe she's thinking if you won't bother calling her she won't bother responding to mesaages.
Then how do such people maintain friendships? Most people will automatically back out if a person leaves your messages as it is. You can't expect 2 people living in different countries to remain in touch even if they keep in contact at least through messages
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Dunnig Kruger
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How deep a relationship did the 2 of you have?

How likely is it that either of you will move to the other's home town?

How often are you likely to visit each other from now on?

Would there be any point in her keeping in touch with you, instead of focusing on her career and friends and family in her home town?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
How deep a relationship did the 2 of you have?

How likely is it that either of you will move to the other's home town?

How often are you likely to visit each other from now on?

Would there be any point in her keeping in touch with you, instead of focusing on her career and friends and family in her home town?
Not deep but somewhat ok. Got to know her in June this year. But we did share lot of personal stuff
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Dunnig Kruger
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Did you get as far as making love with each other?

And what about my other 3 questions?

Although I'd strongly expect the answer to be "No" if you didn't make love. Because, after all, why should she go to any effort to maintain contact with a platonic friend that she's only known for 2 months?

And even if you did make love, it'd still be a highly provisional "Maybe", as you would have been a brief fling.
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chieula2301
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I can totally relate to the situation!

I have a friend, male friend who is really nice in person but he does the same thing like your friend. He was always starting a conversation between us in real life but he barely replied me if I texted him through snapchat, like literally never and always left me on read. He only replied whenever he asked for homework stuff and normally said thank you after I sent him and that’s it. But then when we saw each other again in class he acted like nothing happened and just be normal chatting to me. I hate that shiit!
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