The Student Room Group

Getting attached a girls

So I firmly believe in being a standup guy, being nice and helping everyone out but as I grow older I am beginning to realized most of my beliefs are wrong. In that, some part of me feels like the world owes me something and that it will help me out as I traverse through its surroundings. obviously this concept is wrong and flawed.
The truth is that nobody cares and neither should you and me, we should all change and learn that to make it in this life we have got to learn how to control people a and to read the signs around us. The key to this is empathy, analyze how you would react to something.
I often realize that most of the advice I give to people I dont follow myslef but starting today I will.
I am here to complain about my ex girlfriend whom I miss so much that she occupies my mind 24 hours of the day, she lives 5 hrs from me, how tragic. We met about 4 months ago and begun dating after like a month if me trying to woo her. Soon she grew tired of me caused she does not like what I talk about, her words not mine.
We have been broken up for a week now and in that time I have bombarded her with texts and calls, even a drunken voice note on WhatsApp. I have now realized that this will only drive her away, because I have unlocked the secret to life in my drunkenness, my loneliness and my sadness. The more you want something the further it gets from you, this is true in everything we do. This is why you will notice that the ," bad guys," almost always get the girl. This is because they are able to awaken something in her that all human beings want, thrill and uncertainty. They appear to not want the girl and in respomse the girl goes after them .

An example I noticed early in life, if you are from a big family like me you will notice that the,"bad" kid always gets the parents attention. And the over achiever does not,this is because that child gives the parents what marsians call "worry." Thus keeps the parents thinking about that child. This is what you have to generate in a female and all people that you meet.
Do not offer help to anybody without being asked to. This will make people like you but people often remember people that hurt them for way longer. And that my friends is how you get a girl or someone to think about you often, beware I am not saying be a jerk.
Going back to my earlier paragraph, I regret to admit this but I am a boring person. I stay in my room all day practicing my gaming skills and who can remember the "Angelina Jolie's," with my friends rather than going out and hanging out with people. Nothing wrong with this of course but I feel like I could be doing more.
Anyways almost all girls that I meet think I am a Playboy but quickly realize that I am just an insecure 10 year old girl in a teenagers body, so lesson learned. Work fast before they unearth my secret.
me and you need to realize that talking about sex with a girl is toxic, it either raises her expectation or puts up her guard so let's get rid of this horrible habit.
And like I have said earlier. Get rid of the good guy "act," dont help out girls without being asked to this will surely lead you to the friendzone. My heart is almost always broken by a girl but even I know that that is a taboo.
As I continue to write I fell the burden Islowly lifting. I have not forgotten my ex but I do feel better.
Never open up, this is about intrigue. Have you ever noticed how the girl you fall for and get attached to almost always has this mystery about them? Here is a secret, there is nothing special they just know the art of being subtle, that and they have various guys going after them. Ps. Just made up the subtle part right now, but its true. Anyway never tell a girl too much about yourself, don't be vulnerable with her no matter how much of a nice person she may be cause she will take advantage of you, often she won't even realize it. And no matter what make yourself scarce, reduce when you dating but do it none the less.
The ultimate secret to not getting attached to a girl is not chasing after her, no matter what. Movies make it seem like when you chase and hold steadfast she will come to you, the truth is she will not. Because the moment you begin the chase is the moment you lose the race, cause the girl will always be ahead and this she will realize.
Anyways for today I have aired as much as I can, I should learn to take my own advice.
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by Afri indi
So I firmly believe in being a standup guy, being nice and helping everyone out but as I grow older I am beginning to realized most of my beliefs are wrong. In that, some part of me feels like the world owes me something and that it will help me out as I traverse through its surroundings. obviously this concept is wrong and flawed.
The truth is that nobody cares and neither should you and me, we should all change and learn that to make it in this life we have got to learn how to control people a and to read the signs around us. The key to this is empathy, analyze how you would react to something.
I often realize that most of the advice I give to people I dont follow myslef but starting today I will.
I am here to complain about my ex girlfriend whom I miss so much that she occupies my mind 24 hours of the day, she lives 5 hrs from me, how tragic. We met about 4 months ago and begun dating after like a month if me trying to woo her. Soon she grew tired of me caused she does not like what I talk about, her words not mine.
We have been broken up for a week now and in that time I have bombarded her with texts and calls, even a drunken voice note on WhatsApp. I have now realized that this will only drive her away, because I have unlocked the secret to life in my drunkenness, my loneliness and my sadness. The more you want something the further it gets from you, this is true in everything we do. This is why you will notice that the ," bad guys," almost always get the girl. This is because they are able to awaken something in her that all human beings want, thrill and uncertainty. They appear to not want the girl and in respomse the girl goes after them .

An example I noticed early in life, if you are from a big family like me you will notice that the,"bad" kid always gets the parents attention. And the over achiever does not,this is because that child gives the parents what marsians call "worry." Thus keeps the parents thinking about that child. This is what you have to generate in a female and all people that you meet.
Do not offer help to anybody without being asked to. This will make people like you but people often remember people that hurt them for way longer. And that my friends is how you get a girl or someone to think about you often, beware I am not saying be a jerk.
Going back to my earlier paragraph, I regret to admit this but I am a boring person. I stay in my room all day practicing my gaming skills and who can remember the "Angelina Jolie's," with my friends rather than going out and hanging out with people. Nothing wrong with this of course but I feel like I could be doing more.
Anyways almost all girls that I meet think I am a Playboy but quickly realize that I am just an insecure 10 year old girl in a teenagers body, so lesson learned. Work fast before they unearth my secret.
me and you need to realize that talking about sex with a girl is toxic, it either raises her expectation or puts up her guard so let's get rid of this horrible habit.
And like I have said earlier. Get rid of the good guy "act," dont help out girls without being asked to this will surely lead you to the friendzone. My heart is almost always broken by a girl but even I know that that is a taboo.
As I continue to write I fell the burden Islowly lifting. I have not forgotten my ex but I do feel better.
Never open up, this is about intrigue. Have you ever noticed how the girl you fall for and get attached to almost always has this mystery about them? Here is a secret, there is nothing special they just know the art of being subtle, that and they have various guys going after them. Ps. Just made up the subtle part right now, but its true. Anyway never tell a girl too much about yourself, don't be vulnerable with her no matter how much of a nice person she may be cause she will take advantage of you, often she won't even realize it. And no matter what make yourself scarce, reduce when you dating but do it none the less.
The ultimate secret to not getting attached to a girl is not chasing after her, no matter what. Movies make it seem like when you chase and hold steadfast she will come to you, the truth is she will not. Because the moment you begin the chase is the moment you lose the race, cause the girl will always be ahead and this she will realize.
Anyways for today I have aired as much as I can, I should learn to take my own advice.

wow, many truths in there, respect bro
Reply 2
Original post by LORD_LFC_5
wow, many truths in there, respect bro

Thanks bro, I am so heart broken right now.
Subjective matter, you can't generalise ... just some people are trash. That's all there is to it. You still see nice people, geeks and nerds find love. So you need to understand. But I do think some of what you said is true and your approach post break up was seriously flawed as it probably reaffirmed her doubts about you.

After a breakup wait 30 days before attempting to recontact... trust me best advice ever...she'll either be head over heels for you or gone. But who cares either way.
Reply 4
Original post by Amon-ster
Subjective matter, you can't generalise ... just some people are trash. That's all there is to it. You still see nice people, geeks and nerds find love. So you need to understand. But I do think some of what you said is true and your approach post break up was seriously flawed as it probably reaffirmed her doubts about you.

After a breakup wait 30 days before attempting to recontact... trust me best advice ever...she'll either be head over heels for you or gone. But who cares eit

You are right I should have waited longer than I did, but I cannot express properly gow I felt at the time but I wanted nothing else but to talk to her.
I should have waited and for that I will never know how we could have been together.
What hurts more is that she will not even call me back or text just as a courtesy for all the time we shared together. It Hurts that there is nothing I can do to talk to her or get her to talk to me, and the only thing I want is to talk to her.
A moment ago she called my friend who is her best friend, he introduced me to her. I cannot help but feel jealous when she calls him and won't even text me, I know my friend does not like her but I still feel jealous.
Everyone keeps on saying I will find somebody else but I only want her, I realize that she is doing the silent treatment thing and it hurts like crazy.
Anyways nothing I can do about that now.
You said me calling her after such a short time reaffirmed her doubts about me, could elaborate further?
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by Afri indi
You are right I should have waited longer than I did, but I cannot express properly gow I felt at the time but I wanted nothing else but to talk to her.
I should have waited and for that I will never know how we could have been together.
What hurts more is that she will not even call me back or text just as a courtesy for all the time we shared together. It Hurts that there is nothing I can do to talk to her or get her to talk to me, and the only thing I want is to talk to her.
A moment ago she called my friend who is her best friend, he introduced me to her. I cannot help but feel jealous when she calls him and won't even text me, I know my friend does not like her but I still feel jealous.
Everyone keeps on saying I will find somebody else but I only want her, I realize that she is doing the silent treatment thing and it hurts like crazy.
Anyways nothing I can do about that now.
You said me calling her after such a short time reaffirmed her doubts about me, could elaborate further?

Listen heartbreak is a cvnt. Everyone will experience it at some point even I have I became super depressed but the only thing that will help you get over her is time. New Hobbies and people will help you pass time and find new love.

Listen right now you're blinded by love, but I don't think you should pursue someone that doesn't love you the same way.

And what I meant be reaffirmed her doubts was, she may of thought of you as desperate/whipped/obsessed pre break up, a certain level is acceptable but you needed to take a step back after the breakup but since you never it might have pushed her away further. But tbh it's not the end of the world I'll tell you straight you're gonna feel like **** for at least a few months cause I believe you loved her but like I said occupy your time and you'll be more motivated than ever.
Reply 6
you are right, I should move on and my mind knows this but my heart Hurts so much. I will move on and what hurts is that I never learn, cause this is the 3rd time something like this is happening to me. fool me once. right? guess I am the fool
anyway I have stopper trying to contact and my classes have started so I will be trying to study, its had to study when you are sad and depressed.
and yeah time will help but right now I feel like ****. I just don't get how you can treat someone like a stranger after sharing so much.
Original post by Afri indi
you are right, I should move on and my mind knows this but my heart Hurts so much. I will move on and what hurts is that I never learn, cause this is the 3rd time something like this is happening to me. fool me once. right? guess I am the fool
anyway I have stopper trying to contact and my classes have started so I will be trying to study, its had to study when you are sad and depressed.
and yeah time will help but right now I feel like ****. I just don't get how you can treat someone like a stranger after sharing so much.

A good suggestion is try mma or boxing. Very relieving taking out stress on a bag. Yes you should get over her she's not worth your time, you and your mind are the two biggest assets in your life so forget her acknowledge you're own value as a person, you do you and in time your success will be the karma she deserves when she looks at how far you've come.

Yeah I understand you, some people are just trash anyways get use to it, you shouldn't feel down cause you'll find someone who appreciates you eventually and you'll look back and think of it as a blessing that both of you broke up.
Reply 8
Original post by Amon-ster
A good suggestion is try mma or boxing. Very relieving taking out stress on a bag. Yes you should get over her she's not worth your time, you and your mind are the two biggest assets in your life so forget her acknowledge you're own value as a person, you do you and in time your success will be the karma she deserves when she looks at how far you've come.

Yeah I understand you, some people are just trash anyways get use to it, you shouldn't feel down cause you'll find someone who appreciates you eventually and you'll look back and think of it as a blessing that both of you broke up.

Truth be told since I started having problems with Her I have been to the gym lol.
Yeah at this point all I can do is move on. Thanks guys talking to you has not made me feel better, like at all. But you have helped realize my own feelings and what My friends term, "stupid love." No one should ever have to go through this. But I guess it will make me stronger.

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