What would you do? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#1
Hi guys and girls

Need some advice. Been with current partners 4 years, but have run into some many dilemmas.

She is 29 I'm 28. Heres a few things that keep cropping up.

I want to go on holiday to Florida with her, shes a huge disney fan, but she wont go... the reason... because I went with my ex 8 years ago and I proposed to her. (Not related but we were together 10 years until she cheated on me with my best friend)

She relys on me to buy everything, and I her own words,I'm the man and men are meant to treat and spoil their girlfriends. She then also claims all the time I may add, that I never do anything for her, which all her friends find laughable when she said it infront of them during a discussion.

I have just finshing paying halve of her car for her, and have brought a new car myself, she still expects me to fuel her car for her because I earn more, expects me to pay for dinner because I earn more. I dont mind and agree that men should obviously be more of the payer but feel like it takes the Mickey a little.

She blows hot and cold,one day shes super nice and supportive next shes a rude spiteful person.

Shes asks me to do something for her I have no problem in doing it, as we are a couple , if I ask her to give me a lift to the train station if I have to travel for work shes means because shes got to get up before 10 and then moans at me saying I wasted her petrol.

I've told her multiple times that I cant live my life like this,not being able to go where I want in the world because you have an issue where I went with an ex, or constantly feeling like I have to provide for you as a full grown adult. But nothing changes, I've tried to leave but I dont feel like I can, as i love her too much.

All of this behaviour stems from her dippy mother,who thinks shes above everyone. She walks like royalty and her husband pays for everything. She constantly makes slight digs about people from different back grounds, which I've been brought up to respect everyone for who they are. Shes beyond lazy and lays in her bed until her husband gets home where she quickly shoots up to pretend she was cleaning. Shes a repulsive liar, and unfortunately my girlfriend worships the ground the witch walks on.

How do I handle this,I've paid for us to go on hol in Jan, and we were ment to be going away for mine later on in year.

I just feel so stressed out and stuck a little. Some feedback would be appreciated
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vmwest
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#2
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first off, men are not "meant to pay more". my bf and i make paying for things fair and relatively equal, i normally pay a lil more as earn more but its not extreme and its not unfair. tbh sounds like shes using you and taking advantage of your generosity.

you should probably end it as sounds like you deserve so much better!

you can always take someone else on the holiday youve booked?
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Secretariat123
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi guys and girls

Need some advice. Been with current partners 4 years, but have run into some many dilemmas.

She is 29 I'm 28. Heres a few things that keep cropping up.

I want to go on holiday to Florida with her, shes a huge disney fan, but she wont go... the reason... because I went with my ex 8 years ago and I proposed to her. (Not related but we were together 10 years until she cheated on me with my best friend)

She relys on me to buy everything, and I her own words,I'm the man and men are meant to treat and spoil their girlfriends. She then also claims all the time I may add, that I never do anything for her, which all her friends find laughable when she said it infront of them during a discussion.

I have just finshing paying halve of her car for her, and have brought a new car myself, she still expects me to fuel her car for her because I earn more, expects me to pay for dinner because I earn more. I dont mind and agree that men should obviously be more of the payer but feel like it takes the Mickey a little.

She blows hot and cold,one day shes super nice and supportive next shes a rude spiteful person.

Shes asks me to do something for her I have no problem in doing it, as we are a couple , if I ask her to give me a lift to the train station if I have to travel for work shes means because shes got to get up before 10 and then moans at me saying I wasted her petrol.

I've told her multiple times that I cant live my life like this,not being able to go where I want in the world because you have an issue where I went with an ex, or constantly feeling like I have to provide for you as a full grown adult. But nothing changes, I've tried to leave but I dont feel like I can, as i love her too much.

All of this behaviour stems from her dippy mother,who thinks shes above everyone. She walks like royalty and her husband pays for everything. She constantly makes slight digs about people from different back grounds, which I've been brought up to respect everyone for who they are. Shes beyond lazy and lays in her bed until her husband gets home where she quickly shoots up to pretend she was cleaning. Shes a repulsive liar, and unfortunately my girlfriend worships the ground the witch walks on.

How do I handle this,I've paid for us to go on hol in Jan, and we were ment to be going away for mine later on in year.

I just feel so stressed out and stuck a little. Some feedback would be appreciated
Not going to lie, but you sound like an awesome boyfriend to her. I accept that all girls are crazy, but this one's a bit over the edge. I mean come on, she won't drop you off because of the petrol? That's madness.

Why are you so submissive to her? I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement. If she does something nice then fair enough get a holiday, but it seems like shes not the best person to be around and yet you are still just rewarding her...
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#4
(Original post by vmwest)
first off, men are not "meant to pay more". my bf and i make paying for things fair and relatively equal, i normally pay a lil more as earn more but its not extreme and its not unfair. tbh sounds like shes using you and taking advantage of your generosity.

you should probably end it as sounds like you deserve so much better!

you can always take someone else on the holiday youve booked?
The hardest part throuhh all of this is I love her, and I keep telling myself it will get better, which is does temporarily.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
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(Original post by Secretariat123)
Not going to lie, but you sound like an awesome boyfriend to her. I accept that all girls are crazy, but this one's a bit over the edge. I mean come on, she won't drop you off because of the petrol? That's madness.

Why are you so submissive to her? I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement. If she does something nice then fair enough get a holiday, but it seems like shes not the best person to be around and yet you are still just rewarding her...
I dont know why I am, because I feel that in a relationship it's all about giving to each other, not financially but helping each other aswell.

What would you do, and how would you handle it?
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Anonymous #2
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Wow I don’t want to sound rude but in my opinion she sounds horrible. I know you keep telling yourself that it’ll get better and she’ll be nicer but she most likely won’t as you get to know someone more, their true characteristics come out and in her case they’re not nice and it’s clear that she’s just not a good person or even girlfriend for you. Sometimes you get so wrapped up and infatuated in someone and tell yourself that you love them that you don’t see someone’s flaws and just dismiss them but hopefully the reality hits you soon enough that you can do way better. Hope this helps even if it was hard to hear :/
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vmwest
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The hardest part throuhh all of this is I love her, and I keep telling myself it will get better, which is does temporarily.
I understand that and ik it must be hard, but in the long run you will be better off without her as you cant live like this forever. Breaking up will cuz temporary pain but staying will leave you miserable and the pain will be prolonged as even if you asked her to change I doubt she would enough to make a difference
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