I broke up with my ex, should i get back with him after he done this? Watch

erinwh12
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Right so, I need some brutally honest ****ing advice. Basically, I have been with my (now) ex for nearly 2 years. He was my first love and first everything basically. We broke up after 9 months and then got back together after a month because he realised he truly does love me. Things had been great up until a couple of weeks ago, i started getting bored and as though we weren't really acting like a couple. We only see each other about once a week if that sometimes because of where we live and he is going into the navy soon so we thought it was best to split up as we knew it would be hard for the both of us trying to keep up the relationship if we are struggling now. We broke up on the Tuesday, we decided to stay mates and i went to his on the Thursday to drop some stuff off. We both seemed fine about breaking up and knew it was for the best, so just acted like mates. Then on Saturday, he sent me these long paragraphs about how hes always loved me and wanted to marry me and we talked all night about how we will always be there for each other and hopefully we can rekindle in the future. I then visited him again yesterday (Monday) and everything was fine. We talked about being friends with benefits so we cuddled for a bit, then eventually one thing let to another and we kissed and did some stuff. As i was about to go home, he asked me what we are going to do then after this because we are basically acting like a couple again anyway. We decided to speak about it properly when we got home but i basically admitted regretting breaking up with him. Fast forward to when i got home, he told me he needed to tell me something before i make my decision. He kissed and cuddled his girl best mate the day after we split up and asked her for a suck. He told me he felt weird doing it but he wanted to prove to himself that he was okay with us breaking up so he just went through with it. He told me that he doesnt want to stay broken up with me because that made him realise that he does truly love me and im the only person he wants to be with. The thing is, i always had doubts about his and hers friendship and always felt in my gut that something could have gone on but wanted to trust him. He is very against cheating and i know he would never do anything with anyone else whilst we are together but it hurts just the same as cheating. I told him that if we were to be together again that he couldnt see her or talk to her ever again or at least until i can come to terms with it and he said thats fine. The thing is, he has done this before when we last broke up. He slept with his other girl mate a couple days after but insisted it was just a rebound and that im the only girl he wants to be with. Up until now, ive trusted him with everything and i know technically he hasnt done anything wrong because we werent together when he done these things, but after having a gut feeling for so long it makes me feel sick to look at him and i dont know if i will ever be able to fully trust him again. I would have defended him any day but right now i feel betrayed and used. If he had told me about this incident before he told me all that **** on Saturday, then i think i would have been able to work things out. But as far as im concerned, the way it seems is that he wanted to get back in my good books and get in my pants before he let me know about him and his girl mate so that i would come running back to him. Right now i dont know what to think and i honestly cant look at him in the same way, but i only found this out last night, am i being unreasonable for wanting to make him feel like ****? I mean technically he didnt do anything wrong, i just cant seem to understand why he didnt let me know before i came down to his house and done stuff with him, because he knew i would get my feelings back in an instant. and the thing is, he is a genuinely lovely person and is so gentle and always has been with me, i know he is a good person and has a heart of gold and i know he doesnt care about sex but my insecurities are telling me otherwise. what tf do i do! he is perfect for me and i know he doesnt ever want to hurt me and would lose his girl mate in a heartbeat for me (not that i want him to), i know he truly does love me and i love him so could we work through it? right now im giving him space but ive told all my friends practically and made him out to be a bad person, but i know in a week or so i will regret it because i know he isnt. would we be able to work through it?
Last edited by erinwh12; 3 days ago
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Anonymous #1
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It shouldn't hurt the same as cheating because he didn't cheat.
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erinwh12
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It shouldn't hurt the same as cheating because he didn't cheat.
valid point
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Anonymous #2
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Not cheating but a ****ty thing to do I would feel upset too
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Anonymous #3
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If the original reason was to break up due to the navy, then ask yourself what has changed ?
Personally I would struggle with the long distance and trying re-kindle a relationship that's already struggling due to the shadow of two re-bounds.
You have every right to be upset as you clearly still have feelings. Remember if you make a clean break these will eventually go. (There are plenty of people out there, who are not going into the Navy
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