Feel guilty... about moving out

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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I only live with my mum so whenever I go to university she is going to be alone. She also texts all the time and is super overprotective.

I would like to move out to go back to my uni city for 2nd year a month before lectures start. (I am working 2 days for open day). If I keep travelling back and forth its going to burn money to the point that I won't make a profit working on open days.
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username4889668
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#2
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It’s natural to feel guilty but if you want to move out there’s no reason why you shouldn’t. I personally plan on commuting if I go to my firm (it’s less than a 20 minute journey) but there’s no point staying home if you can’t or don’t want to.

If you feel bad about her being lonely, make sure to call and text her when you can.
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Vashti02
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I understand that, it must be hard because you dont want to come across as rude or neglectful - have you tried talking to her about this before? if so, how did she respond?
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Laurengee95
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you have to move out eventually. im sure she will be fine, she will only want what's best for you and want you to be happy. its natural to feel guilty but at some point we all have to start lives of our own.
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username2393237
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Nobody can fill a void for anyone else - it’s up to your mum to create her own life. You’ll have to move out eventually anyway and you’ll be absolutely miserable if you live your life for someone else. Do what you have to do and don’t feel guilty. You can still see her regularly and text every day.
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Danni:)
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These situations are so difficult and I totally sympathise. It is immense pressure to be your Mum's source of happiness and company. You have to think about what makes you happy sometimes. You can't be completely responsible for your mum not feeling lonely. Try and find some groups your Mum could go to in your local area if she is generally lonely. If she has just put so much of her life on you then it isn't fair on you for her to let you feel so much pressure. It is also on you to work out what is important in your life and try to find a balance. You shouldn't sacrifice your own life for anyone else, but you also have to know your priorities and what is important to you. Do you feel guilty out of duty or out of love?
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by Vashti02)
I understand that, it must be hard because you dont want to come across as rude or neglectful - have you tried talking to her about this before? if so, how did she respond?
Whenever I bring it up she automatically says negative stuff about being lonely etc. I feel like we are both kinda miserable at home, but she wants me to stay as long as possible so... moving out just before the lectures start.

If I was her I would sign up to the gym/do other hobbies but I am not sure why she doesn't do that. Shes mainly interested in religion and social media. I wish she would get other hobbies I think I am going to try and encourage her more
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Vashti02
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Whenever I bring it up she automatically says negative stuff about being lonely etc. I feel like we are both kinda miserable at home, but she wants me to stay as long as possible so... moving out just before the lectures start.

If I was her I would sign up to the gym/do other hobbies but I am not sure why she doesn't do that. Shes mainly interested in religion and social media. I wish she would get other hobbies I think I am going to try and encourage her more
The truth is to me it sounds like she is projecting. she will be lonely alone so she is assuming that you will be too. remember that if you don't put yourself first no one else will be able to do that for you. i would tell her what i want and even if i know she isnt going to understand i would tell her i have to do this for myself. i cant pour from an empty cup etc. i can imagine its quite a tough thing to do in your position but honestly, no body ever regrets putting their own wellbeing first.
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