This Young Lad I Live With. Disturbing Issues Watch

cascadingstylez
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#1
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This is an awful story, but so true. I am not really asking for help beacuse I am not sure if it's possible to help him.

I live in a shared house with the landlord and his 2 kids. Last year his wife died and the kids lost their mother. The younger kid is male and is 10 years old. He has some serious issues that I will move onto in a second.

The farther drinks constantly every day. He don't really take any interest in his kids and lets them do as the please. The daughter is 13 and has a baby!

Anyway the young kid has recently been found drawing pictures of his dead mom. He seen her the day she died. She died of cancer and basically died in this house. I have not seen the pictures, my girlfriend has, and she said they are perfect portraits and are disturbing to look at.

The drawings where found because a friend of their family was playing the XBox in his room with him and the young lad said this:

"Don't leave me, I am lonley and scared. I am scared of what I will do when nobody is about".

Nobody is sure what he meant by this, but they think he is talking about killing himself or someone else. He does have anger issues and is always fighting it a school.

The current state of the family is a joke and the poor kid gets no support at all. His dad is an absolute ******. He don't cook for him unless he is eating and will usually leave him to cook noodles and frozen food (pies, chips etc) for breakfast in the morning.

There is nothing I can do to help. I have no right to but in and offer advice and if I did I would get abuse from the dad. The dad, even after being told about his sons issues, does not seem to care.

Poor child. His dad will be dead soon as he is drinking real heavy. (I just lost my uncle at 40 to alcohol abuse).

I was thinking about phoning the social services but how do I phone them without making it look as if someone in the house has grassed him up?
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charkate_x
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Thats terrible I think social services can take things anonymously especiallyif its not just you but another friend of the family is also concerned. I really think you should get in contact with them. I cant stand people not taking care of kids it really upsets me
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Jordan1990
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You can talk to social services anonymously
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sparkle86
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Please talk to social services. That is so sad. The whole family obviously haven't got over the mothers death and are taking it extremely badly.

Imagine how much the mother would be upset watching over them all. You need to take some action as the father seems like he's way too deep in alcohol abuse to care or even see sense so it's now up to someone else to make sure the children at least get a chance of a good life.

Let me know how it goes. xx
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MakingMoves
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The best short term solution is to call social services.

However you can't just blame the dad. Looking from his point of view he's just lost his wife and if his wife did all the work looking after the family. You can't expect him to suddenly know how to look after the children. But it is irresponsible for him to get heavily drunk and throw away his future and the future of his kids.
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Teao the Cat
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To be honest, the drawings are the least of your problems. Its the alcoholic father that I worry about! My mother died when I was seven, at home, which I saw, and I don't see how him drawing a picture of his mum is any worse than looking at a photo. However, i would definately recommend talking to social services about the dad, especailly since there is a baby in the house...
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OiaB
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social services are the way forward.

that's heart wrenching.
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MSB
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I think phoning Social Services is the best option. I'm sure they will be able to deal with out without giving away who told them, but I suppose he could guess. However, in phoning them you've acted entirely properly and so needn't be afraid of the consequences.
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cascadingstylez
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(Original post by Teao the Cat)
To be honest, the drawings are the least of your problems. Its the alcoholic father that I worry about! My mother died when I was seven, at home, which I saw, and I don't see how him drawing a picture of his mum is any worse than looking at a photo. However, i would definately recommend talking to social services about the dad, especailly since there is a baby in the house...
Its the images combined with what he said thats disturbing. The kid said he is scared of what he would do but didn't say anything else. For a kid to say he is scared of himself - well its deep.

There are lots of things I could list to put the farther down. The fact that he made his 13 year old pregnant daughter tidy the house every day, even on the day she gave birth. He also punched her in the face while she was holding her sisters baby. This was about 7 months ago.

He strangled his older daughter in the back garden the week his wife died. He blamed her for his wife dying because that same week her baby was born. He now says that the baby killed his wife and took her place so he hates his Gandson.

He makes the 2 kids clean the house every day. He shouts real bad at them and when he is drunk he will call his younger daughter a ****.

Anyway, I feel sorry for the whole family. It cannot be easy but the farther should pick himself up and show an example. He has kids for heavens sake, he can't just do what he does, he has a role to play regardless of whatever is going on around him.

The poor kid hasn't had a new pair of clothes since his mom was alive. He goes to school in clothes that don't fit him.

I am going to call SS in a bit.
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thisismyhandle
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keep us updated...
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username163092
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Maybe you could talk to his teachers? They may be able to offer him counselling (and his Dad doesn't need to know about it).

Anyway, good luck and I hope the familly can get along better in the future.
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shelly1
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You are obviously concerned enough about the situation to be asking for advice. If you do not want to go direct to Social Services why not make an appointment and go and speak with the boy's Headteacher. Every school has a Child Protection co-ordinator. They may be more aware of the situation than you think and would be able to advise you further. Something definitely needs to be done though - would you want it on your conscience if anything happened to him and you did nothing? Try and sort something asap.
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SarahhhD
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Social Services is your best Option, they can handle thing Anonymously.
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sparkle86
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My gosh, yes please call them. What this father is doing is abusive and like another poster said, what would your consience be like if something did happen to those children and you didn't do anything about it.

Please please ring them. They need help desperately. Would you and ur gf not be able to move out incase the father did guess it was u who called SS?
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randdom
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Definitely get hold of social services and let them know what is going on. They will not only be able to help the children but hopefully also help to provide help for the father who is quite obviously not coping.

Another thing that might be helpful to do as well as contacting social services is to let the school know what is going on. This way they will hopefully be able to support the boy and they will have a reason for his acting out.

Finally you could just try and talk to him. Not about anything deep just hang around with him maybe play football with him or something. Just make sure he knows that you are there to support him. You obviously don't have to do this if it is something that you won't feel comfortable with but could help him until things get more sorted.
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LaurenFah
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Well done for not turning a blind eye - which would've been easier and less hassle for you, and probably what a lot of people may have done in your situation.
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Rokit
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I'd say get as many authorities involved as possible. Social services. He strangled his daughter so definitely a police issue too

The authorities have a duty of care since the Victoria Climbie incident and alerting someone will get the ball rolling. They are no longer allowed to drop it
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Anonymous #1
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i used to work for soc services and i can confirm that they can def take anonymous calls. i would do it ASAP if i was you because if anything bad happens, you will prob feel guilty for not doing anything about it, and it's not fair on you to feel like that. i hope everything works out.
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Anonymous #2
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Well done, you've no idea how much this could change their lives, if shes only 13 she should be having support for this new baby aswell, going up with an alocholic father I can garuntee this is th ebest thing to do, and I wish someone in my family had noticed what I was going through earlier.
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theredwindmill
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thats terrible, but its really good you have noticed it and want to help. i would deffinitly go to social services, its clear the childrens father can't look after them or himself. social services do accept anonymous calls
please keep us all updated.
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