I don't want to lose her Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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Hi everyone, I’m wondering whether anyone can offer some words of advice or support for a relationship problem. My best friend and me fell in love about 4 years ago. Only in the last 2 did we admit these feelings to one another. Over those last couple of years, we’ve been on and off. Neither of us have dated other people, but at times I lacked the courage to fully commit to the relationship, despite being totally in love. Earlier this year, I lost my job and had some family health problems. For the last few months I have suffered with depression and lost all confidence, staying in the house a lot and becoming very distant with this other person. Up until 2 months ago we were still trying to give the relationship a go. Then out of the blue, she told me she was in a relationship with someone else and I was absolutely heartbroken. It made me realise what an idiot I had been in taking advantage of her, just because I wasn’t in a good place. I realise now my mistakes, and have been doing everything to show her that we can be together properly. The other night we met up for dinner, the feelings are all still there, and I couldn’t love her anymore if I tried. I apologised for everything I had done in the past. She told me that at the moment, she couldn’t be with me because she is with someone else. It hurts more because she keeps saying ‘not right now’ or ‘not at the moment’, ‘if it’s meant to be it will be’ etc., almost like she is not ruling it out. She even told me I was her soul mate. She told me she wants us to be best friends now, but I can’t face that. We talk every single day and I told her that I cant speak to her right now, so we are not currently in contact, I don’t know how long I will keep it up for. We have the most amazing connection you could ever imagine. She has told me herself she doesn’t have this connection with this new relationship. I should also add, after we met for dinner the other night, her plans for the weekend got cancelled. I asked her if she wanted to do something, and she said she wouldn’t because she was afraid she would start falling in love with me again. I can’t face loosing her; I know we are meant to be together. What should I do, keep up the no contact? If she had told me we would never be together, I could move on, but she hasn’t said anything of the sort, and it keeps getting my hopes up. I am lost without her ☹
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Anonymous #2
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I think you should tell her how this is hurting you, if she really cares she wouldnt be leading you on or have you as the rebound guy if things don't work out with her new guy. I understand that you love her and don't want to lose contact with her but if you are always reliant on her then there is no self love.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think you should tell her how this is hurting you, if she really cares she wouldnt be leading you on or have you as the rebound guy if things don't work out with her new guy. I understand that you love her and don't want to lose contact with her but if you are always reliant on her then there is no self love.
Thank you. I have told her I am heartbroken, she is fully aware of what this is doing to me. I have gone to no contact because its hard to talk to her every single day knowing I can't have her right now. She says it is unfair of me to cut contact, because it shows I don't care about the friendship, she doesn't understand that I have no interest in being friends, only a relationship. The other day she kept saying how happy she was with this new person and it was destroying me.
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Anonymous #2
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Make it known, tell her you are only interested in a relationship and nothing else! If she's not interested try to move on!!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Make it known, tell her you are only interested in a relationship and nothing else! If she's not interested try to move on!!
I know, I have done. I think it’s the fact she won’t rule it out, when you feel there may still be a chance it’s so hard to give up.
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Adz2042
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best to give her an ultimatum. explain what you did in the past was wrong, but give the reasons as to why, very simply but clearly.
say to her that you need her in your life, but from a relationship point of view, and that seeing her with the new guy is tearing you apart inside and out.
respect her decision for dating someone else, but make your point heard.
if you feel like she is still leading you on, then state that you can't keep 'waiting for the moment she ends things' because that may never come and move on. it will hurt for weeks - months, but you have to focus on yourself and you can't keep holding back.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Adz2042)
best to give her an ultimatum. explain what you did in the past was wrong, but give the reasons as to why, very simply but clearly.
say to her that you need her in your life, but from a relationship point of view, and that seeing her with the new guy is tearing you apart inside and out.
respect her decision for dating someone else, but make your point heard.
if you feel like she is still leading you on, then state that you can't keep 'waiting for the moment she ends things' because that may never come and move on. it will hurt for weeks - months, but you have to focus on yourself and you can't keep holding back.
You think it is best to avoid contact for a while? I know she expects me to always come running back to her with a text.
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