I HATE MY PARENTS. They love their adopted son 10000x Watch

5hat456g
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They embarrassed me, i have never felt so ashamed and weak before. If i ever get bullied it will be because of them.

Ok, I was just in the park with my school friends and some classmates and some cool guys from different school. We were talking, chilling, some guys had alcohol and cigarettes with them. we were having fun basically and it was only 20:30. The sun was still up. There is a guy, he is 17, i am 15. He was flirting with me, i like him since some months. It was the first time he was reacting back to me. He seemed to like me too. He was inviting me to his friends birthday party. But then my mother and FATHER and ADOPTED BROTHER came and forced me to go home with them.

My adopted brother told them that i was there with older guys and some other weird stuff, that i was with bad kids. WTF???

They treated me like a child. I didnt drink, i didnt smoke but they were acting like i was in some DANGER. Oh, they ****ing humiliated me, none of my friends called me yet. Let alone my crush who was shocked by their animal like behavior.

I hate my adopted older brother, he acts like he is my real brother. He does well in school, he is a good student, son and he is just perfect, everybody loves him (except me). I dont do ''good'' in anything because no one liked me FROM THE BEGINNING. No one had hopes on me, they didnt care about me.

When they forced me back home i tried to ran to my room but i am not even allowed to close the door on myself and cry? i have to act like they want, they took my rooms keys away from me.

I like the guy a lot but because my adopted older brother talks **** about him my parents dislike him.

Why would they act like this? why are they so bad to me? why would they embarrass me?

I am like a prisoner i am so depressed right now.
Last edited by 5hat456g; 3 days ago
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NiceLolBro
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Does anyone wanna run some duos on Fortnite?
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MidgetFever
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Sounds like you need to mature a little, they were only looking out for you. Probably worried you'll be in danger because these lads are drinking (and underage) and you're (I'm assuming) a young girl.

You'll be thankful for it when you're older and realise that a lot of messed up things happen to young vulnerable girls.
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Dunya
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It was only 20:30...
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AzureCeleste
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They were looking out for you
Everything they did is perfectly reasonable (although at your age you probably can't see that)

The fact your 'friends' didn't message you after you were forced to leave suggests that they aren't your friends at all (even though your parents were right to take you and your friends probably realised that, I would've expected them to message to check you were ok)
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5hat456g
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(Original post by Dunya)
It was only 20:30...
20:30 is not late
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Dunya
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(Original post by 5hat456g)
20:30 is not late
Just curious, do you say 'twenty-thirty' irl?
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Zain_Ahmed
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(Original post by 5hat456g)
They embarrassed me, i have never felt so ashamed and weak before. If i ever get bullied it will be because of them.

Ok, I was just in the park with my school friends and some classmates and some cool guys from different school. We were talking, chilling, some guys had alcohol and cigarettes with them. we were having fun basically and it was only 20:30. The sun was still up. There is a guy, he is 17, i am 15. He was flirting with me, i like him since some months. It was the first time he was reacting back to me. He seemed to like me too. He was inviting me to his friends birthday party. But then my mother and FATHER and ADOPTED BROTHER came and forced me to go home with them.

My adopted brother told them that i was there with older guys and some other weird stuff, that i was with bad kids. WTF???

They treated me like a child. I didnt drink, i didnt smoke but they were acting like i was in some DANGER. Oh, they ****ing humiliated me, none of my friends called me yet. Let alone my crush who was shocked by their animal like behavior.

I hate my adopted older brother, he acts like he is my real brother. He does well in school, he is a good student, son and he is just perfect, everybody loves him (except me). I dont do ''good'' in anything because no one liked me FROM THE BEGINNING. No one had hopes on me, they didnt care about me.

When they forced me back home i tried to ran to my room but i am not even allowed to close the door on myself and cry? i have to act like they want, they took my rooms keys away from me.

I like the guy a lot but because my adopted older brother talks **** about him my parents dislike him.

Why would they act like this? why are they so bad to me? why would they embarrass me?

I am like a prisoner i am so depressed right now.
People like you deserve some actual embarrasment tbh.. So let's say if it all went well... You get married to this druggie.. then what? You need to be more responsible in who you want as your partner.. A random druggie off the street isn't a good example.. You hate your adopted brother because he is actually sensible and you don't know how to act sensible.. So when your parents appreciate that you get jealous.. If the lad hangs with druggies... he is a druggie himself... Or is close to one.. So if you would get married to him.. or in a relationship, you would embarrass the ENITRE FAMILY.. Think.. Kids like you, who get a lot of freedom, become spoilt and get depressed on matters which are actually benefical for you.. It's basically saying you would rather drink expired milk over fresh milk because you chose the expired milk and refuse to budge... GROW UP...
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MiaNova
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Wow
This is every parents worst nightmare when it comes to adopting - their own child (by blood) hates the adopted one...

I think that your parents and brother were right. You're 15! You're practically a child and it sure seems like it too. You need to mature a little and listen to the advice they give.

Don't throw everything back on them like they're trash. They're looking out for you. Be thankful you have such a good support system.

Wish you the best!
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Zain_Ahmed
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(Original post by Dunya)
Just curious, do you say 'twenty-thirty' irl?
TBH.. judging the way this lass sounds.. I wouldn't be suprised
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adviceisallineed
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(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
People like you deserve some actual embarrasment tbh.. So let's say if it all went well... You get married to this druggie.. then what? You need to be more responsible in who you want as your partner.. A random druggie off the street isn't a good example.. You hate your adopted brother because he is actually sensible and you don't know how to act sensible.. So when your parents appreciate that you get jealous.. If the lad hangs with druggies... he is a druggie himself... Or is close to one.. So if you would get married to him.. or in a relationship, you would embarrass the ENITRE FAMILY.. Think.. Kids like you, who get a lot of freedom, become spoilt and get depressed on matters which are actually benefical for you.. It's basically saying you would rather drink expired milk over fresh milk because you chose the expired milk and refuse to budge... GROW UP...
absolutely correct!
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5hat456g
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(Original post by Dunya)
Just curious, do you say 'twenty-thirty' irl?
No, why?

(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
People like you deserve some actual embarrasment tbh.. So let's say if it all went well... You get married to this druggie.. then what? You need to be more responsible in who you want as your partner.. A random druggie off the street isn't a good example.. You hate your adopted brother because he is actually sensible and you don't know how to act sensible.. So when your parents appreciate that you get jealous.. If the lad hangs with druggies... he is a druggie himself... Or is close to one.. So if you would get married to him.. or in a relationship, you would embarrass the ENITRE FAMILY.. Think.. Kids like you, who get a lot of freedom, become spoilt and get depressed on matters which are actually benefical for you.. It's basically saying you would rather drink expired milk over fresh milk because you chose the expired milk and refuse to budge... GROW UP...
Marriage?..... druggie.... embarrassing the family?

WTF are you talking about :confused: i think you are the one on drugs. I am 15, why would i think about marriage now?
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5hat456g
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(Original post by AzureCeleste)
They were looking out for you
Everything they did is perfectly reasonable (although at your age you probably can't see that)

The fact your 'friends' didn't message you after you were forced to leave suggests that they aren't your friends at all (even though your parents were right to take you and your friends probably realised that, I would've expected them to message to check you were ok)
But i wasnt doing anything wrong. I was just talking to my crush and they ruined everything for me.
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
People like you deserve some actual embarrasment tbh.. So let's say if it all went well... You get married to this druggie.. then what? You need to be more responsible in who you want as your partner.. A random druggie off the street isn't a good example.. You hate your adopted brother because he is actually sensible and you don't know how to act sensible.. So when your parents appreciate that you get jealous.. If the lad hangs with druggies... he is a druggie himself... Or is close to one.. So if you would get married to him.. or in a relationship, you would embarrass the ENITRE FAMILY.. Think.. Kids like you, who get a lot of freedom, become spoilt and get depressed on matters which are actually benefical for you.. It's basically saying you would rather drink expired milk over fresh milk because you chose the expired milk and refuse to budge... GROW UP...
I half agree but I don't think a 15 year old is going to get married....?
And, so what if he does drugs? My boyfriend smokes, he pays for it himself, he smokes it himself. It's his choice. Nobody is spoiled milk. Nobody embarrasses anybody unless you let yourself believe that. This 17 year old kid is just living his life, you don't really have a right to accuse him of being an embarrassment?
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MiaNova
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(Original post by WanderStruck)
I half agree but I don't think a 15 year old is going to get married....?
And, so what if he does drugs? My boyfriend smokes, he pays for it himself, he smokes it himself. It's his choice. Nobody is spoiled milk. Nobody embarrasses anybody unless you let yourself believe that. This 17 year old kid is just living his life, you don't really have a right to accuse him of being an embarrassment?
I half agree with what you say here ^

Yes, we have no right to accuse them of being an embarrassment but you can't in your right mind think doing drugs is okay for a 15 year old?

Yes, many will go through the phase due to peer pressure (etc) but that does NOT mean we should condone it / think it's okay to be done just because they pay for it themselves.

OP: you're focusing on the fact that they embarrassed you, instead you should focus on the fact that you (as a 15 year old) were surrounded by people who were clearly not the right role models when it comes to teens at "20:30". They were right to get you home
Last edited by MiaNova; 3 days ago
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WanderStruck
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(Original post by MiaNova)
I half agree with what you say here ^

Yes, we have no right to accuse them of being an embarrassment but you can't in your right mind think doing drugs is okay for a 15 year old?

Yes, many will go through the phase due to peer pressure (etc) but that does NOT mean we should condone it / think it's okay to be done just because they pay for it themselves.

OP: you're focusing on the fact that they embarrassed you, instead you should focus on the fact that you (as a 15 year old) were surrounded by people who were clearly not the right role models when it comes to teens at "20:30". They were right to get you home
Again, OP said that they didn't do drugs. And from experience, if you don't want to do drugs but hang around people that do, you wont do drugs. Unless you're irresponsible. Uh oh.

And I never said we should condone it, but you can't stop someone from doing drugs. If they want to do it, then whatever, but just stay away from it yourself. Some actually help with depression/anxiety, such as weed, so I don't think all drugs are so bad. But cocaine/things such as? No bueno.

I agree with the last part though, I was always pretty understanding with my parents. And I was anti-social so i'm not sure what say I have - but yeah, listen to your parents, they honestly know best. It doesn't seem like it, but it will in time.
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K-Westie
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Hi OP,

Perhaps also pose this question to dearcupid.org; they have a lot of volunteers on there who could give you even more advice and resources. I'm afraid that, no matter where you ask this, you will find yourself being told that you're being immature and not appreciating the (safety) decision your family made for you - if they didn't, then they really wouldn't care all that much about you.

I know you're struggling with this; most teenagers feel like this at some point and it can last for years, but everyone involved will have a different perception of what happens. Your older brother may feel like he's protecting you from a bad crowd, which is usually the case with underage smoking and drinking, which often leads to drugs and other reckless behaviour. Your parents will be thinking the same. Who you choose as friends will go towards whether your parents trust you or not. Them taking your bedroom key means they're worried about you sneaking out or hurting yourself. It feels like prison, but it isn't - it's care and safety.

It's easy to develop a crush on the bad boy when you're young, but those girls often get more heartache, possibly pregnant and a single teen mum or facing a difficult decision, horrible rumours about what they did or didn't do (whether the rumours are true or not), etc. It's easy to start smoking and drinking when you hang out with people who do - when you're an adult, you can do that all you want, but your family are trying to save you from that mistake until they can't any more. Are you prepared for what most 17 year old boys want from girls? Without being patronising, you're too young to give that and take the consequences, even though you think you're old enough to make grown up decisions.

Speak to your doctor about counselling. Your feelings are valid, but you're not being rational about what's happening and you could easily alienate a brother you'd otherwise get on well with. You have family who look like you, have a biological bond with you, who raised you from birth, etc. Your brother doesn't have that. He has a family who love him, but it's not the same as knowing where you come from and why your biological family couldn't/didn't keep you. He's not perfect, but he isn't acting out or hanging out with an iffy crowd. There may be times he wants to and chooses not to because he doesn't want to have the consequences. Once you allow yourself to stop feeling inferior to him and treat him with respect, you may find you can actually be friends. When you're adults, you probably will be, but causing hurt now will do long-lasting damage, if you're not careful. You think you don't care now, but impulsiveness now can cause problems then.

If you get bullied or made fun of for having a good, protective family, then they're not you're friends at all. It's easy to get caught up in a dodgy group, especially when you have a crush on a boy in it. Want to know what happened to my classmate who was in a similar situation, minus her sibling being adopted? She was a smoker, drinker, got pregnant at 16, her boyfriend was in her group of friends and cheated on her multiple times before breaking up with her and she had a miscarriage. She even had to be questioned by the police because of who she hung out with. She craved attention from this group, even though they weren't good for her. She became desperate for a baby because she was convinced that nobody else would love her. Do you know what you have that she didn't? A protective family who give fair boundaries. Maybe, if she'd had that, she wouldn't have had such horrible experiences due to making bad decisions. Either that or she'd have rebelled like you and still gone through all of that.

When you're a teenager, it's understandable to hate rules and feel that someone is preferred over you, but your family (especially your brother) don't deserve any crap you give them for them trying to keep you safe. He IS your brother, whether you get on well or not. You are being immature and pushing away your family, who clearly do care about you. It's natural to do that, but it's not healthy for you or them. You're not as grown up as you feel and you'd be surprised how painful it is to watch a family member make unwise/unsafe choices and have to tell on them or enforce rules. Cut your family some slack, be trustworthy and you may find your situation improves. Though I would also strongly advise some counselling to help with your hang ups about your brother.

Best of Luck.
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AzureCeleste
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(Original post by 5hat456g)
But i wasnt doing anything wrong. I was just talking to my crush and they ruined everything for me.
They don't want you mixing in the wrong crowd
You weren't doing anything wrong but that doesn't stop you in the future from doing wrong stuff, which is more likely when you hang out with people drinking and smoking
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yoursunshinexx
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(Original post by 5hat456g)
They embarrassed me, i have never felt so ashamed and weak before. If i ever get bullied it will be because of them.

Ok, I was just in the park with my school friends and some classmates and some cool guys from different school. We were talking, chilling, some guys had alcohol and cigarettes with them. we were having fun basically and it was only 20:30. The sun was still up. There is a guy, he is 17, i am 15. He was flirting with me, i like him since some months. It was the first time he was reacting back to me. He seemed to like me too. He was inviting me to his friends birthday party. But then my mother and FATHER and ADOPTED BROTHER came and forced me to go home with them.

My adopted brother told them that i was there with older guys and some other weird stuff, that i was with bad kids. WTF???

They treated me like a child. I didnt drink, i didnt smoke but they were acting like i was in some DANGER. Oh, they ****ing humiliated me, none of my friends called me yet. Let alone my crush who was shocked by their animal like behavior.

I hate my adopted older brother, he acts like he is my real brother. He does well in school, he is a good student, son and he is just perfect, everybody loves him (except me). I dont do ''good'' in anything because no one liked me FROM THE BEGINNING. No one had hopes on me, they didnt care about me.

When they forced me back home i tried to ran to my room but i am not even allowed to close the door on myself and cry? i have to act like they want, they took my rooms keys away from me.

I like the guy a lot but because my adopted older brother talks **** about him my parents dislike him.

Why would they act like this? why are they so bad to me? why would they embarrass me?

I am like a prisoner i am so depressed right now.
First of all, parents never want to embarrass you intentionally. They are looking out for you cos they are your parents and you care. Understand that first. Many children have obviously gone through this phrase "omds I hate my parents they said I can't do this omggg blah blah", but when you are older you will understand they did it for your own good
Obviously if you are "chilling" with some older guys who are drinking and smoking - they are gonna pull you away. It's not safe - you dont't know what they are capable of. And they are treating you like a child? Uhh it's cos you are a child.
You are not depressed, you are just upset about what happened. You are also not a prisoner - the fact that your parents let you go out in the first place says a lot.
Your adopted older brother also cares for you - he's looking out for you like any other brother would. You "hate" your older brother because you are probably jealous of him.
Start thinking about your actions and how they will impact your future. Your parents are always doing things for your own good
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Zain_Ahmed
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(Original post by WanderStruck)
I half agree but I don't think a 15 year old is going to get married....?
And, so what if he does drugs? My boyfriend smokes, he pays for it himself, he smokes it himself. It's his choice. Nobody is spoiled milk. Nobody embarrasses anybody unless you let yourself believe that. This 17 year old kid is just living his life, you don't really have a right to accuse him of being an embarrassment?
And she has a right to accuse her adopted brother and parents for being an embarrassment?? When did I say she is going to get married now?? I said in the future.. IF it all works out and they eventually DO become married.. then what?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SO WHAT IF HE DOES DRUGS?? Legit, Where's your brain?? A druggie in the household ruins the atmosphere.. I don't even get the point of smoking tbh.. Science has proved countless times that it doesn't even help with stress.. It's just the same as breathing in and out but very deeply.. This 17 year old kid who is "living his life" will, unfortunatley, not have a long life to live if he carries on.. Same with your bf
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