Mental health & working.. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#1
Hi,

I'm due to start a job tomorrow to get me by before going back to uni in September, I don't move back home over summer as I am 23, living with my boyfriend and have other commitments here and call this 'home' instead of my family home. Anyway, to give some context, I have suffered with depression since about the age of 13 and never really recovered from it - my anxiety wasn't so bad until I was about 19, then it became debilitating. I haven't been able to hold down any job since 2016, which embarrasses me slightly, the mental health issues have got to the point where the doctors forced me to do my university placement due to it having a detrimental effect on my health. I barely leave the house much and only socialise with my boyfriend and a few friends I have here. I need to work, I want to because I'm living such a boring life at the moment and I know my boyfriend is fed up of having to pay for things that I can't afford (only basics, we don't get up to much due to lack of money). I went to this temp job a few weeks ago, walked inside to the front desk and turned around and left, never to return. It's so frustrating because I never used to be like this until I moved away from home but it's truly consumed my life. I always tell the doctor that I can cope with the depression, just not the anxiety, I've been on three different types of anti-depressants and none of them have worked in calming the anxiety, they do seem to elevate my mood though.
May be good to add that I was out of education and work last year due to having a legitimate emotional breakdown, but I have got so much better in myself since then.

I just don't know what to do with myself, the thought of going to this job, being there 8 hours a day, 5 days a week is making really worried. I like to be on my own, I prefer to be inside my home where I can cope with my mental health issues personally. I get overwhelmed extremely easily, I cry easily and I back out of things before really giving them a chance due to that niggling voice that you get when you're anxiety has well and truly taken over your life.

Sorry it's a long post, I feel I needed to get it off my chest as the people around me don't really understand mental health so talking to them is somewhat pointless. Just need some guidance or helpful stories of people going through the same thing.

Thanks
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BlinkyBill
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#2
Report 5 days ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi,

I'm due to start a job tomorrow to get me by before going back to uni in September, I don't move back home over summer as I am 23, living with my boyfriend and have other commitments here and call this 'home' instead of my family home. Anyway, to give some context, I have suffered with depression since about the age of 13 and never really recovered from it - my anxiety wasn't so bad until I was about 19, then it became debilitating. I haven't been able to hold down any job since 2016, which embarrasses me slightly, the mental health issues have got to the point where the doctors forced me to do my university placement due to it having a detrimental effect on my health. I barely leave the house much and only socialise with my boyfriend and a few friends I have here. I need to work, I want to because I'm living such a boring life at the moment and I know my boyfriend is fed up of having to pay for things that I can't afford (only basics, we don't get up to much due to lack of money). I went to this temp job a few weeks ago, walked inside to the front desk and turned around and left, never to return. It's so frustrating because I never used to be like this until I moved away from home but it's truly consumed my life. I always tell the doctor that I can cope with the depression, just not the anxiety, I've been on three different types of anti-depressants and none of them have worked in calming the anxiety, they do seem to elevate my mood though.
May be good to add that I was out of education and work last year due to having a legitimate emotional breakdown, but I have got so much better in myself since then.

I just don't know what to do with myself, the thought of going to this job, being there 8 hours a day, 5 days a week is making really worried. I like to be on my own, I prefer to be inside my home where I can cope with my mental health issues personally. I get overwhelmed extremely easily, I cry easily and I back out of things before really giving them a chance due to that niggling voice that you get when you're anxiety has well and truly taken over your life.

Sorry it's a long post, I feel I needed to get it off my chest as the people around me don't really understand mental health so talking to them is somewhat pointless. Just need some guidance or helpful stories of people going through the same thing.

Thanks
Heya.
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. What sort of job are you starting tomorrow? I know you mentioned temp work previously - is this one a temp role as well? A lot of companies can be really great at supporting employees with various health conditions, including mental health (but this might be more relevant if it's a permanent role).
I don't want to presume to understand your personal feelings, but I can definitely say you're not alone in feeling anxious about starting a new job. Whenever I used to start a new job I've felt really quite anxious for a while. It got easier for me over time, and it started to feel more familiar.
Not sure if it's helpful, but just wanted to say you're not on your own.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
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(Original post by BlinkyBill)
Heya.
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. What sort of job are you starting tomorrow? I know you mentioned temp work previously - is this one a temp role as well? A lot of companies can be really great at supporting employees with various health conditions, including mental health (but this might be more relevant if it's a permanent role).
I don't want to presume to understand your personal feelings, but I can definitely say you're not alone in feeling anxious about starting a new job. Whenever I used to start a new job I've felt really quite anxious for a while. It got easier for me over time, and it started to feel more familiar.
Not sure if it's helpful, but just wanted to say you're not on your own.
Hi, thank you for your reply

The job I am starting tomorrow is a customer service position, I am somewhat confident doing customer service as it's all I've really done since leaving school and yeah, it's a temporary position through an agency but I can already tell the agency aren't the best, it seems like they just want to fill job roles as soon as possible and most of the people I've spoken to there haven't been very personable at all - I don't like talking about my mental health that much as I have had issues with people understanding it. I'm very open with my boyfriend, but even he throws it back in my face sometimes if we get in to an argument - A few weeks ago, we got in to a fight about something and he told me I did nothing for myself last year and didn't even attempt to get help for my problems and that I was probably just lazy, but last year was so difficult for me to get through to the point where I had to be referred to the crisis team, and for my boyfriend to turn around and say I could have helped myself more or that I was being lazy was just a massive kick in the teeth. He did say he didn't mean it once everything had calmed down but you don't come out with stuff like that unless there is some truth behind it haha. I think I'm going on a bit of a tangent here, but yeah, I would love to work in retail while at uni, I volunteered at one last year and really enjoyed it as it seems a lot more laid back and it's easier to find part-time hours in that kind of sector. Due to me not being in work for well over a year now, I just don't think full-time work is what I need as I tend to relapse easily especially as I cannot consider myself 'better' yet.

Thank you for your kind words, it's really nice to know that I'm not alone as I often feel like I am. I appreciate it
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