Why I am not happy before results day Watch

Anonymous #1
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I’m not happy or excited to receive my results tomorrow. Simply because I rejected my firm for personal reasons and had to pick a uni in London. I remember that day I declined all my offers to pick a uni I didn’t want to go to. I cried when going to sleep and waking up. I wake up sometimes and I cry because it’s my life and my choice. But at times it doesn’t feel like it my life or choice. I woke up today crying and hating myself for being too soft and letting people tell me what to do.

It gets sad and upsetting seeing other people be happy that they are going to the uni they wanted. Some people are just happier than others and some are sad. I always told myself that if I don’t firm the uni I want to I will never forgive myself and that’s true.

I don’t want to stay in London I want to live in accommodation and live my life. My mum doesn’t get it. All she does is control and tell me what to do. It’s been a year since I told her I didn’t want to stay. And all she did was cry and say I don’t have anyone, everyone leaves me. I wish I could tell her to grow up and stop thinking that just because she has a daughter I have to be with her all the time.

I don’t like staying at home. I hate it. I feel depressed staying at home. I cry for no reason at times. I cry because my life just won’t get better.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m not happy or excited to receive my results tomorrow. Simply because I rejected my firm for personal reasons and had to pick a uni in London. I remember that day I declined all my offers to pick a uni I didn’t want to go to. I cried when going to sleep and waking up. I wake up sometimes and I cry because it’s my life and my choice. But at times it doesn’t feel like it my life or choice. I woke up today crying and hating myself for being too soft and letting people tell me what to do.

It gets sad and upsetting seeing other people be happy that they are going to the uni they wanted. Some people are just happier than others and some are sad. I always told myself that if I don’t firm the uni I want to I will never forgive myself and that’s true.

I don’t want to stay in London I want to live in accommodation and live my life. My mum doesn’t get it. All she does is control and tell me what to do. It’s been a year since I told her I didn’t want to stay. And all she did was cry and say I don’t have anyone, everyone leaves me. I wish I could tell her to grow up and stop thinking that just because she has a daughter I have to be with her all the time.

I don’t like staying at home. I hate it. I feel depressed staying at home. I cry for no reason at times. I cry because my life just won’t get better.
Is this cultural?
Which uni and course did you want to do?
Which uni and course are you ending up doing?
Any dad or siblings?

Option 1: Cancel and go into clearing, then move.
Option 2: attend year 1 and then seek a transfer in year 2. Move on a 52 week contract and dont go back until she has calmed down.
Option 3: Cancel and reapply next year for the uni you really want. get a job save money and get your own place on the longest contract, stay up there until she settles down. She might disown you. Spending a gap year with you is a compromise and she has to let you grow up. More to the UK than London. Also a time for you to grow and have your own space. You can always visit. She is being selfish.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Is this cultural?
Which uni and course did you want to do?
Which uni and course are you ending up doing?
Any dad or siblings?

Option 1: Cancel and go into clearing, then move.
Option 2: attend year 1 and then seek a transfer in year 2. Move on a 52 week contract and dont go back until she has calmed down.
Option 3: Cancel and reapply next year for the uni you really want. get a job save money and get your own place on the longest contract, stay up there until she settles down. She might disown you. Spending a gap year with you is a compromise and she has to let you grow up. More to the UK than London. Also a time for you to grow and have your own space. You can always visit. She is being selfish.
Is not cultural at all!
It was NTU, I am an only child and I don’t live with my dad. No one gets it, in this house. It’s because she will probably lose her mental stability that I have to with her. You don’t get what it’s like, it’s been a year and she is just controlling. She doesn’t let me wear clothes I want to wear. She gets annoyed if I wear something and she doesn’t like it. I don’t get what her problem is
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Is not cultural at all!
It was NTU, I am an only child and I don’t live with my dad. No one gets it, in this house. It’s because she will probably lose her mental stability that I have to with her. You don’t get what it’s like, it’s been a year and she is just controlling. She doesn’t let me wear clothes I want to wear. She gets annoyed if I wear something and she doesn’t like it. I don’t get what her problem is
NTU almost certainly in clearing. Only a few hours on the train? What social or medical support is she getting? If she dominates your life too much then just leave and deal with the consequences. If you can manage a gap do that plus save money as you will really need it.
You have the choices above but just have to deal with the consequences. Take your pick.

Which is the London uni?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
NTU almost certainly in clearing. Only a few hours on the train? What social or medical support is she getting? If she dominates your life too much then just leave and deal with the consequences. If you can manage a gap do that plus save money as you will really need it.
You have the choices above but just have to deal with the consequences. Take your pick.

Which is the London uni?
Westminster and nope she isn’t getting medical help or anything
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Westminster and nope she isn’t getting medical help or anything
Ive outlined your choices. A gap year is no bad thing and having savings is fantastic for what you can do at uni. You just have to make a choice and deal with the consequences. If you havent got the grades, then resit, plus talk to NTU and also your referee to make sure they are aware of why you didnt go plus the fact they will still provide a reference.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Ive outlined your choices. A gap year is no bad thing and having savings is fantastic for what you can do at uni. You just have to make a choice and deal with the consequences. If you havent got the grades, then resit, plus talk to NTU and also your referee to make sure they are aware of why you didnt go plus the fact they will still provide a reference.
It’s hard for me, I can’t go into clearing because I’m not a british citizen so all these unis would asking so much questions. I already had to deal with so many questions from various unis. It’s getting stressful
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s hard for me, I can’t go into clearing because I’m not a british citizen so all these unis would asking so much questions. I already had to deal with so many questions from various unis. It’s getting stressful
So that means you arent getting student finance?
How long have you been in the UK?
Is she financing the degree?

You could have mentioned the fact you were non UK at the beginning. We are going round in circles here.
Unis ask questions to know if you have the grades and you have the money for obvious reasons.

If she controls the finance then it will be take it or leave it or change her mind.
I cant offer any more advice than that. At least uni will allow you to meet new people, give you a qualification and escape for a while.
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asif007
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You didn’t reject your firm offer because of “personal reasons”, you did it because you were pressured into it by your mum. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that parents never have your best interests at heart when they are controlling and manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do. Any parent who says they’re doing it for you but against your wishes is obviously lying to you - they can’t have it both ways. But this is all still in your hands.

Get your results and decline your offer. See if NTU is still available in clearing. If it is, you can go to uni this year. If not, move out immediately and get a job ASAP while you apply for next year’s intake at NTU. As a young person in London capable of getting into uni, you’ll get a job within days. Use your income to support yourself to live independently for a while - that’s one of the things you want, right? Parents calm down when you take away the thing they are trying to control. But you need to grow the courage to strike out on your own. Lots of young people are too scared to do that. Unless you’re willing to do something about your situation, nothing is going to change with complaining about it.

Also, don’t assume everything is good for other people. Lots of people don’t get into their top choice university and I’m sure plenty will end up going somewhere they aren’t particularly keen on. But they put on a brave face, learn to live with it and eventually enjoy wherever they end up. University is a big opportunity that you should be grateful for, and I can’t see anything you would be missing out on should you end up staying in London and living at home. Also, lots of people don’t get into uni at all despite working so hard. I suggest you be grateful that not only have you got a place already, you’re also in a position to change your university and get a place somewhere else. I’m sure many people out there would love to be in your position.
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