How Do I Bounce Back From Angering People Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
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Prettymuch I tend to feel off (like really worried / withdrawn) whenever I annoy people (unintentionally) at work or irl. How do I bounce back from this (so examples are refusing to do things at work due to personal preferences; getting told off by someone else for explaining something to a family member in 10 seconds vs 5 minutes for someone else; talking too much).

Any suggestions?
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vortex13
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#2
Report 4 days ago
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Well it’s natural to feel bad afterwards, but I find it useful to think of whether I will still be feeling bad about that particular incident in 10 years. If no (usually this is the case) then I tell myself to not fret over it too much and to calm down
Then I decide whether I’m in the right in the situation. If I am, I can be completely worry free, and if I’m not then I have to calm myself down anyway because the only way to make it right will be with a level head.
I generally use this with bigger things that I’m worrying about a lot, but it could be used on a smaller scale too. If you know it’s something you shouldn’t be feeling off about, you could just ask yourself if you’re going to feeling bad about it in 10 years and if you’re in the wrong in any way I’m your head.

I hope this helps!
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Kiritsugu
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#3
Report 4 days ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Prettymuch I tend to feel off (like really worried / withdrawn) whenever I annoy people (unintentionally) at work or irl. How do I bounce back from this (so examples are refusing to do things at work due to personal preferences; getting told off by someone else for explaining something to a family member in 10 seconds vs 5 minutes for someone else; talking too much).

Any suggestions?
Well, you're immediately labelling yourself as the cause. Why? What assumptions have you made? How do you know they didn't have a bad day and were simply just irritable?

Why are you responsible for making them angry?

Of course, sometimes, people do bad things that do make it likelier for other people to be angry, but if you're neutral/unintentional, then what can you do about it? That's the question.

You know... if you know you've upset someone, the easiest thing to do is to apologise or show your care in another manner e.g. by giving a gift.

If you've just unintentionally did something and maybe you sensed a little tension, just brush it off. There's probably nothing you can do about it - nor should you necessarily do something about it - unless you think it's actually necessary.

If you always care about what other people think, then you'll never be satisfied. Don't be a people-pleaser. Sometimes it's best to just move on instead of being stuck in the past.

If your unintentional habits are a problem, then start to rewire your habits to form new and more powerful ones.
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