Anonymous #1
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I've always thought that I was bi since I like both genders but lately my friends started to say that I might be asexual. I had boyfriends and girlfriends before and I've never been in a sexual relationship with any of them. I haven't kissed them either. I can't imagine myself having sex with anyone. I even broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I didn't. Am I asexual or do I have an another problem? Is there anyone who is really asexual that can tell me how it feels to be like this?
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Anonymous #2
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It could be due to having negative experiences that you've heard or seen and every time you think of sex, you think of that
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octo
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've always thought that I was bi since I like both genders but lately my friends started to say that I might be asexual. I had boyfriends and girlfriends before and I've never been in a sexual relationship with any of them. I haven't kissed them either. I can't imagine myself having sex with anyone. I even broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I didn't. Am I asexual or do I have an another problem? Is there anyone who is really asexual that can tell me how it feels to be like this?
Hey! I'm also bi and ace (asexual) so I hope I can help you out a little here. if you have any ace questions, let me know!

Generally, being ace is defined as not experiencing sexual attraction. It's not a problem, or anything that needs to be fixed. It's just another part of your identity, if you want it to be. Ace people can enjoy sex/sexual content, or they can be completely repulsed by it, or they can be somewhere in the middle. The important thing to think about is whether identifying as asexual is something that makes you happy, or describes a part of you that you weren't sure how to describe before. Do you feel positively about it, or do you feel like it doesn't suit the way you see yourself and your identity?

If you're still worried about things, remember that identities can be fluid. If IDing as ace helps you right now, but later in life you find yourself feeling differently, that doesn't make the way you feel right now any less important. People can be rude about "phases", but your whole life is just a series of phases, and you're using the vocabulary that fits you right now.

(Regardless of whether you end up IDing as ace or not, please remember that you never have to have any kind of sexual relationship or do any kind of sexual acts you don't want to do, and if someone tries to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, ace or allo, tell them where they can stick it, tbh.)
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black tea
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(Original post by octo)
Generally, being ace is defined as not experiencing sexual attraction.
Excuse my stupidity, but how can someone be asexual and bisexual at the same time?
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octo
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(Original post by black tea)
Excuse my stupidity, but how can someone be asexual and bisexual at the same time?
Ace people can still be romantically attracted to people (unless they're also aromantic, or 'aroace' to use the nickname haha), so a lot of people describe it as a split attraction model! It's normally only used when there's a disparity or difference between the romantic orientation and the sexual orientation -- like, a non-ace bisexual wouldn't call themselves 'bisexual biromantic', they'd just say bi, if that makes sense! But pulling the two apart can be helpful for people whose orientations are complicated to describe, e.g. with ace or aro people.

So, using the split attraction language I would describe myself as asexual and biromantic -- meaning I'm not sexually attracted to anyone, but I'm romantically attracted to people of all sorts of genders.

I hope that made sense!!
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black tea
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(Original post by octo)
Ace people can still be romantically attracted to people (unless they're also aromantic, or 'aroace' to use the nickname haha), so a lot of people describe it as a split attraction model! It's normally only used when there's a disparity or difference between the romantic orientation and the sexual orientation -- like, a non-ace bisexual wouldn't call themselves 'bisexual biromantic', they'd just say bi, if that makes sense! But pulling the two apart can be helpful for people whose orientations are complicated to describe, e.g. with ace or aro people.

So, using the split attraction language I would describe myself as asexual and biromantic -- meaning I'm not sexually attracted to anyone, but I'm romantically attracted to people of all sorts of genders.

I hope that made sense!!
I see. Thank you for explaining
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Levi Partridge
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've always thought that I was bi since I like both genders but lately my friends started to say that I might be asexual. I had boyfriends and girlfriends before and I've never been in a sexual relationship with any of them. I haven't kissed them either. I can't imagine myself having sex with anyone. I even broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I didn't. Am I asexual or do I have an another problem? Is there anyone who is really asexual that can tell me how it feels to be like this?
Sounds possible, though only you can really be conclusive on that

I've considered myself ace for years although I have absolutely no idea how to tell whether I am or not either so I just tend not to bother worrying about it - it's rarely worth worrying about
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Bio 7
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#8
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(Original post by octo)
Hey! I'm also bi and ace (asexual) so I hope I can help you out a little here. if you have any ace questions, let me know!

Generally, being ace is defined as not experiencing sexual attraction. It's not a problem, or anything that needs to be fixed. It's just another part of your identity, if you want it to be. Ace people can enjoy sex/sexual content, or they can be completely repulsed by it, or they can be somewhere in the middle. The important thing to think about is whether identifying as asexual is something that makes you happy, or describes a part of you that you weren't sure how to describe before. Do you feel positively about it, or do you feel like it doesn't suit the way you see yourself and your identity?

If you're still worried about things, remember that identities can be fluid. If IDing as ace helps you right now, but later in life you find yourself feeling differently, that doesn't make the way you feel right now any less important. People can be rude about "phases", but your whole life is just a series of phases, and you're using the vocabulary that fits you right now.

(Regardless of whether you end up IDing as ace or not, please remember that you never have to have any kind of sexual relationship or do any kind of sexual acts you don't want to do, and if someone tries to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, ace or allo, tell them where they can stick it, tbh.)
That’s covered everything I was going to say so I’ll just support it.
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Levi Partridge
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(Original post by Bio 7)
That’s covered everything I was going to say so I’ll just support it.
Yep. There was probably something else I was going to say but I forgot so it didn't go in
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by black tea)
Excuse my stupidity, but how can someone be asexual and bisexual at the same time?
I think I'm bisexual and asexual so I'll try to explain. Being asexual doesn't mean you don't feel romantic feelings for people. I have crushes on people male and female, if I see someone I'm attracted to I go red like anyone else and won't stop thinking about them for ages. If a boy or girl I'm attracted to says hi to me, I literally won't stop thinking about that for the rest of the day because it will make me so happy. Therefore I am bisexual. The asexual part? I just don't want to have sex with them, because being asexual means I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone. I know that might seem strange because sex is so important to a lot of people, but I generally do not have sexual feelings for anyone I'm romantically in love with. I squeal at the thought of holding hands with the person I love and kissing is fine, but sex? Not at all.
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Bio 7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think I'm bisexual and asexual so I'll try to explain. Being asexual doesn't mean you don't feel romantic feelings for people. I have crushes on people male and female, if I see someone I'm attracted to I go red like anyone else and won't stop thinking about them for ages. If a boy or girl I'm attracted to says hi to me, I literally won't stop thinking about that for the rest of the day because it will make me so happy. Therefore I am bisexual. The asexual part? I just don't want to have sex with them, because being asexual means I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone. I know that might seem strange because sex is so important to a lot of people, but I generally do not have sexual feelings for anyone I'm romantically in love with. I squeal at the thought of holding hands with the person I love and kissing is fine, but sex? Not at all.
I’d say Biromantic instead if you have no sexual feelings and just romantic ones towards people.
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Deggs_14
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How can a human be asexual? You're not a fungus and you can't self reproduce.
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black tea
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#13
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(Original post by Deggs_14)
How can a human be asexual? You're not a fungus and you can't self reproduce.
So?
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Rakas21
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#14
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've always thought that I was bi since I like both genders but lately my friends started to say that I might be asexual. I had boyfriends and girlfriends before and I've never been in a sexual relationship with any of them. I haven't kissed them either. I can't imagine myself having sex with anyone. I even broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I didn't. Am I asexual or do I have an another problem? Is there anyone who is really asexual that can tell me how it feels to be like this?
The answer to this is rather simple.

If you become 'aroused' then your motor runs and your problem is psychological.

If nothing happens with anybody then yes, you may be either hormonally or genetically defective (aesexual).
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Bio 7
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(Original post by Deggs_14)
How can a human be asexual? You're not a fungus and you can't self reproduce.
Asexual is just a lack of sexual attraction to people which means no interest in having sex. We know we can't reproduce asexually.


(Original post by Rakas21)
The answer to this is rather simple.

If you become 'aroused' then your motor runs and your problem is psychological.

If nothing happens with anybody then yes, you may be either hormonally or genetically defective (aesexual).
I wouldn't describe Asexuals as defective just because they don't have the same desire as other people.
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Rakas21
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(Original post by Bio 7)
Asexual is just a lack of sexual attraction to people which means no interest in having sex. We know we can't reproduce asexually.




I wouldn't describe Asexuals as defective just because they don't have the same desire as other people.
I am not saying it to be insulting but to suggest that aesexuality is even remotely normal or should be encouraged is wrong. Whatever one believes in terms of the meaning of life, the biological reason for being is simply to breed and for that reason the human body and brain has evolved a number of mechanisms to facilitate this, not least sexual desire.

Thus while i'm sure you'll live a (somewhat empty but reasonable) happy life you do have either a defect in hormone distribution or some aspect of your physiology.

While i'm not the most sensitive soul i do have slight pity for the plight of asexuals and the pleasures they will never experience (granted i also believe that many aesexuals are not really aesexual).
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Bio 7
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(Original post by Rakas21)
I am not saying it to be insulting but to suggest that aesexuality is even remotely normal or should be encouraged is wrong. Whatever one believes in terms of the meaning of life, the biological reason for being is simply to breed and for that reason the human body and brain has evolved a number of mechanisms to facilitate this, not least sexual desire.

Thus while i'm sure you'll live a (somewhat empty but reasonable) happy life you do have either a defect in hormone distribution or some aspect of your physiology.

While i'm not the most sensitive soul i do have slight pity for the plight of asexuals and the pleasures they will never experience (granted i also believe that many aesexuals are not really aesexual).
We can still have a biological drive to procreate even without desiring sex as so many do, Asexuality doesn't equal infertility. I don't see how you think Aces will live a less happy life because they don't desire sex because there are many others that still feel romantic attraction.
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