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[Trigger warning] Heartbroken and stressed, should I defer my exams?

I have to resit one exam on 27th August and I have to submit my dissertation on 12th September. But I was in an abusive relationship and my ex boyfriend was arrested last week for assault and threats to kill. He's pleading not guilty so there's an ongoing trial.

I would qualify for extenuating circumstances because I've been the victim of a crime but that would mean I'd have to sit the exam and submit the dissertation in March. I really can't concentrate on revision at the moment so I feel like this is the best option for me as it will give me time to heal through the breakup and go through the trial before I start revising again. But I hate the thought of having to drag revision out for another 6 months.

I was really looking forward to finishing education for good as I've been extremely stressed this year from juggling workload and family commitments. I would hate to have to delay my life all because of my abusive ex. Should I just put my head down and crack on with it (in the past I've been quite good with last minute cramming). But I hate the thought of sleepless nights cramming for the next month, when I'm so stressed and heartbroken.

What would you do in my situation?
Original post by NeedHelp448
I have to resit one exam on 27th August and I have to submit my dissertation on 12th September. But I was in an abusive relationship and my ex boyfriend was arrested last week for assault and threats to kill. He's pleading not guilty so there's an ongoing trial.

I would qualify for extenuating circumstances because I've been the victim of a crime but that would mean I'd have to sit the exam and submit the dissertation in March. I really can't concentrate on revision at the moment so I feel like this is the best option for me as it will give me time to heal through the breakup and go through the trial before I start revising again. But I hate the thought of having to drag revision out for another 6 months.

I was really looking forward to finishing education for good as I've been extremely stressed this year from juggling workload and family commitments. I would hate to have to delay my life all because of my abusive ex. Should I just put my head down and crack on with it (in the past I've been quite good with last minute cramming). But I hate the thought of sleepless nights cramming for the next month, when I'm so stressed and heartbroken.

What would you do in my situation?

So sorry to hear about everything you have been going through. I would be really torn too as would also want to get things done and dusted but also make sure I gave it my all.

How are you currently tracking for your other pieces of work?
Have you started on your dissertation?
Have you spoken to anyone at the Uni about this?
Original post by NeedHelp448
I have to resit one exam on 27th August and I have to submit my dissertation on 12th September. But I was in an abusive relationship and my ex boyfriend was arrested last week for assault and threats to kill. He's pleading not guilty so there's an ongoing trial.

I would qualify for extenuating circumstances because I've been the victim of a crime but that would mean I'd have to sit the exam and submit the dissertation in March. I really can't concentrate on revision at the moment so I feel like this is the best option for me as it will give me time to heal through the breakup and go through the trial before I start revising again. But I hate the thought of having to drag revision out for another 6 months.

I was really looking forward to finishing education for good as I've been extremely stressed this year from juggling workload and family commitments. I would hate to have to delay my life all because of my abusive ex. Should I just put my head down and crack on with it (in the past I've been quite good with last minute cramming). But I hate the thought of sleepless nights cramming for the next month, when I'm so stressed and heartbroken.

What would you do in my situation?


This must be so difficult for you, I can't imagine what you're going through. You need to prioritise your own mental health and health in general. If even the thought of revising etc is stressing you, can you talk to uni about maybe having time off uni e.g. a year out? It's about getting the balance between not being stressed but not having anything at all to preoccupy your mind. I know the idea of having time off might seem daunting but it might be the most beneficial in the long run. Perhaps if you were able to have time off uni, you could get a part time job or something? :smile:

Also, are you getting any support e.g. counselling? If not, please consider seeing your GP for them to refer you for that, even just a session to see how it goes.
(edited 4 years ago)

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