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i get annoyed when my mom forces me to wear shalwar kameez and i need help help

so what it is is that everytime i go to peoples house my mom forces me to wear a salwar kameez which is annoying because i like wearing them in eid or either in special occasion. i feel more comfortable in western clothes which are modest. however every time i go to other peoples house everyone wearing western clothes and sometimes i just feel left out and i feel like crying and i am fed up of this. and then i tell my mom why is this girl wearing western clothes and then she will say oh because she looks slim. but that breaks my heart a lot. i try to explain to her that there is nothing wrong with wearing western clothes but its at least modest. i need your help because i am fed up of this plus its so embarrassing. i tried explaining to my mom that salwar kameez isnt a muslim clothes its a traditional attire but she doesnt listen she thinks western clothes are bad.also i think i'm fat.also could you give me some guidance on how i should feel confident in myself. and show me some modest western clothes which would make me feel comfortable.
Original post by golap1
so what it is is that everytime i go to peoples house my mom forces me to wear a salwar kameez which is annoying because i like wearing them in eid or either in special occasion. i feel more comfortable in western clothes which are modest. however every time i go to other peoples house everyone wearing western clothes and sometimes i just feel left out and i feel like crying and i am fed up of this. and then i tell my mom why is this girl wearing western clothes and then she will say oh because she looks slim. but that breaks my heart a lot. i try to explain to her that there is nothing wrong with wearing western clothes but its at least modest. i need your help because i am fed up of this plus its so embarrassing. i tried explaining to my mom that salwar kameez isnt a muslim clothes its a traditional attire but she doesnt listen she thinks western clothes are bad.also i think i'm fat.also could you give me some guidance on how i should feel confident in myself. and show me some modest western clothes which would make me feel comfortable.

Hey, sorry you've not had any replies to this yet - just giving it a quick bump, so hopefully someone will be along soon!

I've moved this over to Faith and Spirituality for you, but please do let me know if it needs to be somewhere else :yep:
It sounds like you mother has made up her mind and is not open to anything else.
While you live with her and are financially dependent upon her, she will tell you what to wear and probably get very angry whenever she hears you say "no".
How old are you?
Reply 3
Original post by londonmyst
It sounds like you mother has made up her mind and is not open to anything else.
While you live with her and are financially dependent upon her, she will tell you what to wear and probably get very angry whenever she hears you say "no".
How old are you?

i am 16 years old
Original post by golap1
i am 16 years old

When you are 18 you will be an adult in the eyes of the law and able to decide what clothes you wear- whether your mother agrees or not.
Just focus on your studies and getting the best grades that you can.
If you achieve high gcse's and a level results, you will have a choice of uni's willing to offer you a place and can choose to live on campus.

Do you have a particular career in mind?
I bet your mother would be very happy to hear that you need to do a lot of studying so you can achieve the exam results necessary to become a doctor, lawyer or investment banker.
Why don't you try adding your own style to it, like a kurta with jeans or leggings or something
Reply 6
Original post by SlightlySummer
Why don't you try adding your own style to it, like a kurta with jeans or leggings or something

thank you!:smile:
Reply 7
Original post by londonmyst
When you are 18 you will be an adult in the eyes of the law and able to decide what clothes you wear- whether your mother agrees or not.
Just focus on your studies and getting the best grades that you can.
If you achieve high gcse's and a level results, you will have a choice of uni's willing to offer you a place and can choose to live on campus.

Do you have a particular career in mind?
I bet your mother would be very happy to hear that you need to do a lot of studying so you can achieve the exam results necessary to become a doctor, lawyer or investment banker.

i would like to become a teacher or public relation officer
I was in the same place as you a few years back. With me, I got upset pretty often but she'd still make me wear it whenever I had to go out. Eventually I just started wearing what I wanted to wear and at first she was against it but slowly began to accept the fact that what I was wearing wasn't anything "besharam" - although, I was known as the black sheep of the family for a bit. That subsided pretty quick cos my siblings followed suit and its almost forgotten now.

My advice, listen to your mum but if it gets too much like in my case, put your foot down and wear what you want. Explain to your mum why it makes you feel uncomfortable. And like the previous user mention, a kurta with jeans is a good idea. That was what I first started wearing when I was "transitioning" into western clothing. All the best.
I love wearing a good ol' salwar kameez. The fancy ones are heavy af though.
Reply 10
Original post by jungshook
I was in the same place as you a few years back. With me, I got upset pretty often but she'd still make me wear it whenever I had to go out. Eventually I just started wearing what I wanted to wear and at first she was against it but slowly began to accept the fact that what I was wearing wasn't anything "besharam" - although, I was known as the black sheep of the family for a bit. That subsided pretty quick cos my siblings followed suit and its almost forgotten now.

My advice, listen to your mum but if it gets too much like in my case, put your foot down and wear what you want. Explain to your mum why it makes you feel uncomfortable. And like the previous user mention, a kurta with jeans is a good idea. That was what I first started wearing when I was "transitioning" into western clothing. All the best.

thanks
I have been suffering just like you sister. My mom and whole family gave me a lecture about it yesterday I also got a scolded a lot. I hate wearing salwar kameej. They look so bad on me. I just want to wear something fashionable but modest. No ****ing one lets me wear it. I hate his. I don't wantto live here anymoe. Wearing salwar kameej is so embarrassing where everyone else is wearing something fashionable.I just wanna goo far away and die in a hole. Because i have never once been able to wear anything willingly. i don't even have the freedom too wear modest fashionable clothes. My life is total ****.
Reply 12
Hey, I just wanted to add to this...I'm a Believer of Christ and my parents brought me up wearing skirts and dresses as opposed to jeans (the national uniform!) I totally understand your situation, so I sympathize. I know what it's like...I would be wearing a skirt that was not very long and then I get told to put on a longer one...because it's more modest.I'll let you in on a couple of things here...Respect: As children (I'm 18 years old now but still living with my parents) we are to respect their wishes and do our best to listen to them and show respect. I know it's not always easy, but it's great if you can actually work with your mum or dad in a way that all of you will be happy :smile: I worked this out with my Mum...that I could wear leggings under a shorter skirt. That way it's still modest. When we begin to not show respect towards parents and act rebelliously, we don't feel great. I went through a stage when I was 13 and I was crying a lot because I felt that I was SOOO different to others. It's hard to be different, but that brings me to my next point...Uniqueness: We are all unique and too often we try and
Reply 13
Original post by Kate4
Hey, I just wanted to add to this...I'm a Believer of Christ and my parents brought me up wearing skirts and dresses as opposed to jeans (the national uniform!) I totally understand your situation, so I sympathize. I know what it's like...I would be wearing a skirt that was not very long and then I get told to put on a longer one...because it's more modest.I'll let you in on a couple of things here...Respect: As children (I'm 18 years old now but still living with my parents) we are to respect their wishes and do our best to listen to them and show respect. I know it's not always easy, but it's great if you can actually work with your mum or dad in a way that all of you will be happy :smile: I worked this out with my Mum...that I could wear leggings under a shorter skirt. That way it's still modest. When we begin to not show respect towards parents and act rebelliously, we don't feel great. I went through a stage when I was 13 and I was crying a lot because I felt that I was SOOO different to others. It's hard to be different, but that brings me to my next point...Uniqueness: We are all unique and too often we try and

..."fit in" with others... When, really, we are not embracing our uniqueness! So just be yourself :smile:
Can I make a suggestion, though...? Would your parents let you alternatively wear a skirt/dress? They are feminine, lovely and also modest!
All the best to you :smile:
wow it seems ur mother is a sensible person who is giving you a right advise. At your age you do not have a good judgement capability of what impression people have of you and your family based on your appearance and how that will shape your future. Shalwar not only looks, it is in fact more comfortable and weather proof. You should stop fighting with your intelligent, well wishing and loving parents. In fact you should make it clear to them that starting today you will only wear shalwars not only on special occasions but also at home and at all times. You should feel proud of your culture and stand proudly in front of girls who r wearing nonsensical cheap western cloths.
Original post by golap1
so what it is is that everytime i go to peoples house my mom forces me to wear a salwar kameez which is annoying because i like wearing them in eid or either in special occasion. i feel more comfortable in western clothes which are modest. however every time i go to other peoples house everyone wearing western clothes and sometimes i just feel left out and i feel like crying and i am fed up of this. and then i tell my mom why is this girl wearing western clothes and then she will say oh because she looks slim. but that breaks my heart a lot. i try to explain to her that there is nothing wrong with wearing western clothes but its at least modest. i need your help because i am fed up of this plus its so embarrassing. i tried explaining to my mom that salwar kameez isnt a muslim clothes its a traditional attire but she doesnt listen she thinks western clothes are bad.also i think i'm fat.also could you give me some guidance on how i should feel confident in myself. and show me some modest western clothes which would make me feel comfortable.

I too go through the same thing I mostly have only traditional wear even though I do have many baggy clothes as well. When we were small we didn't have much of fashion sense so we use to be their barbie dolls but as we grow up we have our own tastes in clothes and I certainly hate shalwar kameez parents need to understand

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