I feel like I should be excited for university but all I feel is dread

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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I didn't really get what I wanted at A levels (BCD) meaning that I couldn't get into my firm which I kind of fell in love with. My I insurance rejected me too actually but offered me a place on a foundation course which I accepted and initially I was happy about it but the more I think about it, the less excitement I feel and I instead just am filled with anxiety.

My insurance uni is a lot further away than the one I was originally planning on going to so it means I won't be able to go home as much which stresses me out a lot, I am used to a certain routine at the weekend that I've been doing for the past 3 years and I'm not going to have that anymore and that also stresses me out. Thinking about accomodation genuinely just makes me cry, I get crippling social anxiety so the thought of living with 4/5 other strangers who I might not get on with terrifies me, I'm very introverted and I am intimidated by loud people who like to party and drink and I know that is a big part of university culture but its just not for me and I worry I won't fit in and people will dislike me and I've just been kind of spiralling over the past few days thinking about every little thing that could go wrong and its gotten to the point where I've considered not even going anymore because I'm getting so anxious over it. Nothing is working out like I hoped it would and I know I have options and I should feel grateful but all I feel is anxiety and sadness and I don't know what to do.
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BlueEyedGirl_
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Report 1 year ago
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Do you actually want to do that course at that uni? Don’t feel you have to rush into going to university, so take the time to make sure this is the right choice - have they got a clearing open day or anything like that so you can have another look round the uni, and ask about the course?

In terms of the social side, it is completely natural to feel anxious about moving in with a bunch of new people you’ve never met before! I think every single person feels anxious about that before they move in. However, try and keep it in perspective. The chance of all those people being wild characters who go out and get drunk every night is very slim. You may get a couple, but there’s likely to be more introverted people in your accommodation too. You can also make friends through your course and through societies. If clubbing isn’t your thing, then you don’t have to do it - find events you do like! I know my uni put on film nights and more chilled evening events for people who preferred those for example.

Just take a moment to really think about what you want - you don’t have to go to university this year if it doesn’t feel right. However, it is also entirely normal to feel nervous or scared, because it’s a huge life change! So I guess it’s just up to you to decide how anxious you feel, and how that balances against your excitement for your course and uni
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Anonymous #2
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Report 1 year ago
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I completely get how you feel, but if you like the course you applied for (even if it is a foundation which you shouldn't worry about really) then I would say go for it because that's the most important thing. After all, I'm assuming you're going to uni to get a degree which is the main point of going and if you don't want to go out every night then there's no pressure - other people won't bother you if you want to keep to yourself and do your own thing. The amount of time you spent socialising at uni is up to you.

I would say to look at other option like deferred entry and retaking A levels. Sometimes you have to take a gap year or ask your uni for deferred entry and retaking your A levels and sometimes you just have to go and do that thing that makes you anxious because you'll feel well happy when you do and see that everything is actually alright. It depends on whether you have a specific career in mind and whether your uni degree will get you there quicker because, if so, then maybe it's worth it.

Hope you figure it out.
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tea.michelle
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Hi, I was in the almost the same position last year as you are now - I was rejected by my firm and my insurance so I had to go through clearing to get a place at university. I got a few offers (one from a university that was one of the five I applied to) but I was filled with dread thinking about how I was never going to live at home permanently again and having to live with strangers. I'm introverted and get really anxious over the whole drinking culture and partying at uni. Everything felt like it was moving way to quickly and I felt really pressured to go to university and time was running out to decide. I spent all day mulling over everything and eventually accepted a place at a university that was a good 4 hours away from home which I began to regret.

For the couple of days after that, I went back and forth deciding and panicking about whether I wanted to actually go to university of not. My sister suggested taking a gap year, which I previously would never have considered, but it started to make sense to take one. I could resit an A level, get a job, build up my CV, properly prepare myself for uni, reapply to my dream uni and maybe even consider other unis that I didn't. I decided to take one. I did get a job, I also volunteered at a museum, I reapplied and got a couple of unconditionals, I resat an A level and actually felt prepared for the exams this time round! I got into a uni I'm really happy with and am actually looking forward to going!

Reconsider whether or not you'd be happier going into something this year or whether you'd prefer to take a breather. How close to your firm offer were you? Perhaps taking resits may be the way to go if you really want to go to your firm and you'll have a long time to prepare this time but bear in mind that resits cost a lot. If a gap year is out of the question, maybe email your insurance uni about accommodation options (if you haven't been offered one yet) and see if they do non-drinking flats if you'd prefer to be with others that aren't into drinking and partying. A lot of unis do alternatives to drinking and partying for freshers week where you can meet others in the same boat.

Hope this helps
Last edited by tea.michelle; 1 year ago
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