I feel like I should be excited for university but all I feel is dreadWatch
My insurance uni is a lot further away than the one I was originally planning on going to so it means I won't be able to go home as much which stresses me out a lot, I am used to a certain routine at the weekend that I've been doing for the past 3 years and I'm not going to have that anymore and that also stresses me out. Thinking about accomodation genuinely just makes me cry, I get crippling social anxiety so the thought of living with 4/5 other strangers who I might not get on with terrifies me, I'm very introverted and I am intimidated by loud people who like to party and drink and I know that is a big part of university culture but its just not for me and I worry I won't fit in and people will dislike me and I've just been kind of spiralling over the past few days thinking about every little thing that could go wrong and its gotten to the point where I've considered not even going anymore because I'm getting so anxious over it. Nothing is working out like I hoped it would and I know I have options and I should feel grateful but all I feel is anxiety and sadness and I don't know what to do.
In terms of the social side, it is completely natural to feel anxious about moving in with a bunch of new people you’ve never met before! I think every single person feels anxious about that before they move in. However, try and keep it in perspective. The chance of all those people being wild characters who go out and get drunk every night is very slim. You may get a couple, but there’s likely to be more introverted people in your accommodation too. You can also make friends through your course and through societies. If clubbing isn’t your thing, then you don’t have to do it - find events you do like! I know my uni put on film nights and more chilled evening events for people who preferred those for example.
Just take a moment to really think about what you want - you don’t have to go to university this year if it doesn’t feel right. However, it is also entirely normal to feel nervous or scared, because it’s a huge life change! So I guess it’s just up to you to decide how anxious you feel, and how that balances against your excitement for your course and uni
I would say to look at other option like deferred entry and retaking A levels. Sometimes you have to take a gap year or ask your uni for deferred entry and retaking your A levels and sometimes you just have to go and do that thing that makes you anxious because you'll feel well happy when you do and see that everything is actually alright. It depends on whether you have a specific career in mind and whether your uni degree will get you there quicker because, if so, then maybe it's worth it.
Hope you figure it out.
For the couple of days after that, I went back and forth deciding and panicking about whether I wanted to actually go to university of not. My sister suggested taking a gap year, which I previously would never have considered, but it started to make sense to take one. I could resit an A level, get a job, build up my CV, properly prepare myself for uni, reapply to my dream uni and maybe even consider other unis that I didn't. I decided to take one. I did get a job, I also volunteered at a museum, I reapplied and got a couple of unconditionals, I resat an A level and actually felt prepared for the exams this time round! I got into a uni I'm really happy with and am actually looking forward to going!
Reconsider whether or not you'd be happier going into something this year or whether you'd prefer to take a breather. How close to your firm offer were you? Perhaps taking resits may be the way to go if you really want to go to your firm and you'll have a long time to prepare this time but bear in mind that resits cost a lot. If a gap year is out of the question, maybe email your insurance uni about accommodation options (if you haven't been offered one yet) and see if they do non-drinking flats if you'd prefer to be with others that aren't into drinking and partying. A lot of unis do alternatives to drinking and partying for freshers week where you can meet others in the same boat.
Hope this helps