Discouraged with my self Watch

Jmonay
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As you guys may know I used to always talk about how I catfished for five years .. how I been addicted before and attached to doing this . I was always on this app replying back to random ppl that caught my interest I been off the app for almost two years now . I still haven’t told one person that i been cat fishing since 2015 he still doesn’t know everyone else knows the truth. Even the guy I used to catfish for fours he found out in May 2018 . We have each other on Facebook and he is still rude and irritating towards me . I’m at the point I don’t even argue with him anymore I don’t care what he says I don’t care that he has the girl pics I used to catfish he has her on social media . It is what it is . I just want to have the strength to not look on this girl page anymore and not save her pictures to send to someone .. it’s immature and I should let it go I just don’t know why I keep her pics in my photo gallery it’s so weird of me being this way . People think what I’m doing is weird and that I should have been stopped and I’m seeking attention . I always ask for help and I’m too stubborn to let this go I need to break this attachment /obsession. It’s not like I’m cat fishing more then one person like I used to do . It’s only one person and never questions if I’m real or not during these five years . Like what other ppl i catfished done they would ask to meet or FaceTime and since I didn’t do that they knew right away . What is wrong with me why can’t I stop this **** already
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Oxford Mum
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Have you thought how the girl whose photos you used feels? I once heard a news item about this.

A male model had his photo used repeatedly and he was very upset about it. It had impacted badly on his relationship and he felt bad that his image was being used to dupe people.

I have also been catfished. In the end I would call people out about it and they would send me their real photo. Their dishonesty appals me. I met another guy on a dating site who was so appalled at the catfishers he was planning to leave the site. We both left together and he even showed me how to do this and make sure the payments were cancelled.

You need to think about the very real pain you are causing others if you intend to continue with this rather selfish so called hobby
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IrisM65
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This other girl clearly represents unfulfilled aspects of yourself. That’s why it is so hard to let the photos go. My advice is to delete the pictures from your gallery. This will take a huge effort of willpower but you can do it. Multiple select and into the bin they go. It will be hard, but worth it. Imagine how much better you will feel when you are doing the right things, not the wrong things.

You must take the same approach to the man that you are still catfishing. Write an email/text or however you contact him and tell him the truth and apologise.

You will feel so much better. Imagine being able to look at yourself in the mirror as someone who has faced up to those things and put them right, You will feel fantastic and a huge sense of relief. Then you need to work on yourself and find out why you did it and how to feel better about those aspects.
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Oxford Mum
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Top post,iris!

To add to your theme...

I know you may feel unfulfilled looking at the photos of this girl but who’s to say she had the perfect life?

I used to be married to a doctor who looked like a famous pop star. In actual fact he was a cruel person who treated me abominably. So badly,in fact, that I feel much happier on my own.

If you are cat fishing out of boredom, op, try helping others instead. It’s amazing how great that makes you feel. And when you need someone, the friends you make will be there for you in your time of need
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Jmonay
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Oxford Mum to be honest I never thought of how the girl feels? I know for a fact she may be upset about it . Yea it’s wrong u had and the male model had to go through that .
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Jmonay
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IrisM65 yea you can say that I would wish to be like her or want to be her friend. Everything happened fast I grew addicted to cat fishing and attached to speaking to these different guys and became obsessed over the other girl .. yea I’m deleting her pictures out of my gallery . The hard thing for me to do is unfollow her on Instagram and Twitter. I know I have to do it so I can break this habit . Yea the other ppl I catfished and I told the truth to and apologized to them I felt worse after they seen how I look they cut me off. Yea its better that I tell truth even if I’ll feel bad after . Yea I need to work on myself I just don’t know how to start ! Thank you for the real truth !
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Oxford Mum
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Knowing that you have done wrong is the first step to happiness. Remember the girl’s life may not be all that.

Focus on your new life, maybe have a new hairstyle etc and reinvent yourself into the new person you want to be.

I often quote on threads here on the student room about the dangers of internet dating.

Even if you had met these guys irl you may have got a nasty shock. I was definitely underwhelmed when I did.

Then there are also scammers trying to relieve you of your money. Luckily I had done a lot of research into internet dating so was on my guard
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IrisM65
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Jmonay It’s more likely that those guys cut you off because you’d catfished them tbh. Even if they insulted how you looked that would be because they were humiliated that you had made them look stupid!

As for social media, remember that what you see of other peoples’ lives is the very best - they choose and pose for their images, but what you know of your own life is just as it is - unfiltered, unposed and just out of bed.

Even those girls don’t look like those girls all day every day! Filters, posing, taking dozens of photos and choosing the best ones takes care of skin breakouts, flabby bits, bad hair days, and small eyes.

Decide to be the best that you can be rather than a bad imitation of someone else’s fake Insta images!
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Anon2049
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I used to catfish It started in 2016 (in roblox tho) when I was playing a game and a nice guy started to talk to me and wanted to be frI ends so i made up a boys name and age. Then in 2017 I was playing a game and a girl started talking and I did the same thing. She wanted to see a pic so I just used Google images. I have removed her now and pretended I was hacked because I knew I couldn't do it anymore I'm 13 now and I just wanted friends when I was 10/11 because I didn't have many and I still don't but I know I can't fake who I am. She asked me to be her boyfriend as well and I said yes but she was probably a catfish as well because her life always seemed dramatic

Feel free to pm me
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Anon2049)
I used to catfish It started in 2016 (in roblox tho) when I was playing a game and a nice guy started to talk to me and wanted to be frI ends so i made up a boys name and age. Then in 2017 I was playing a game and a girl started talking and I did the same thing. She wanted to see a pic so I just used Google images. I have removed her now and pretended I was hacked because I knew I couldn't do it anymore I'm 13 now and I just wanted friends when I was 10/11 because I didn't have many and I still don't but I know I can't fake who I am. She asked me to be her boyfriend as well and I said yes but she was probably a catfish as well because her life always seemed dramatic

Feel free to pm me
Anon you shouldn't be chatting up adults on social media at your age. That is gonna end in tears. Please find a more wholesome pursuit.
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Anon2049
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
Anon you shouldn't be chatting up adults on social media at your age. That is gonna end in tears. Please find a more wholesome pursuit.
I don't all my friends on roblox now are from school and it's the same on instagram I only follow/message who I know
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Jmonay
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Oxford Mum your on point with everything you said .. I need to reinvent myself be around new ppl do new things I been saying that to myself for the longest . To get out of being stuck ..yea the internet is no joke you never know who’s who you may think who you meet online cares about you and next thing you know their plotting to harm you . Smh
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Jmonay
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Anon2049 I’m glad you stopped catfishing is not something you want to get addicted to yea maybe that girl is a catfish did you delete her . I been addicted to catfishing since 2014 ever since I went on this app and friend told me to download . it really does hurt people feelings cause they think the person is real and it turned out to be all a lie . Your really young be careful of the internet stuff . I can relate I barely have a handful of friends . I always wanted to be around the popular ppl or the type of person to be cool . It didn’t happen that way for me and I’m beginning to see why it’s too pressure to be that way. It’s better to be yourself
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Anon2049
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(Original post by Jmonay)
Anon2049 I’m glad you stopped catfishing is not something you want to get addicted to yea maybe that girl is a catfish did you delete her . I been addicted to catfishing since 2014 ever since I went on this app and friend told me to download . it really does hurt people feelings cause they think the person is real and it turned out to be all a lie . Your really young be careful of the internet stuff . I can relate I barely have a handful of friends . I always wanted to be around the popular ppl or the type of person to be cool . It didn’t happen that way for me and I’m beginning to see why it’s too pressure to be that way. It’s better to be yourself
It was hard because I was pretending to be someone I wasn't and I only started it cos I was getting bullied at primary school and I never told anyone. In high school I still don't have many friends but it's better to be yourself than not be and be popular

And yes I deleted her I think she was a catfish tho cos even if I didn't message her for an hour or 2 she would come with crying faces and saying she missed me. I mainly stopped cos I didn't know how long to carry on with the girl for and I just removed her and she's friend ed me a few times but I've declined. But I felt guilty at first but I wouldn't be able to explain.

I am happier with out catfishing cos now I don't have to pretend in someone else or use a lot of time to message and stuff.
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Jmonay
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Anon2049 I was bullied and teased all through out school until I went to high school the bullying stopped although I was still getting teased .. your right it’s better being yourself and not being popular being popular doesn’t seem easy at all . Yea I can’t wait until I stop catfishing this one person I’m just afraid to tell the truth and it feels like I’m still holding on . I want to be happier not having to lie about who I am .
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Anon2049
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(Original post by Jmonay)
Anon2049 I was bullied and teased all through out school until I went to high school the bullying stopped although I was still getting teased .. your right it’s better being yourself and not being popular being popular doesn’t seem easy at all . Yea I can’t wait until I stop catfishing this one person I’m just afraid to tell the truth and it feels like I’m still holding on . I want to be happier not having to lie about who I am .

All through primary I was bullied and teased I'm now at high school going into year 9 and I still got teased (I have a disability where I struggle with walking far and stuff and earlier this year this girl who i thought was my friend added me to a group with her friends and they started saying where's your scooter but as in the mobility scooter and I don't even have one and they were asking for a race and I didn't want one and they started saying oh your scared but I told my mum about that though and no one else knows except the girls the school and my crush and he actually stUck by me) and I don't have many real friends like I have and 'friend' who is only my friend when she wants I think out of my year I only have my crush as a friend and then I have 2 friends in year 11 and a friend in year 13 but they are gonna leave the end of the year.

But when I started catfishing I thought it was best to have loads of friends and be popular in but now I know it's OK not to be a popular kid in school and it's fine not to have many friends cos once you leave school being popular at school won't even matter. Are you boyfriend and girlfriend with the person your catfishing? Or just talking? Idk why I said yes to the girl to be her boyfriend cos im a girl and not lesbian. And just removing her was the only way to go but thinking back she was probably catfishing me anyway.
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Jmonay
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Anon2049 I feel bad that you went through this don’t let anyone make feel bad about being yourself . No matter if you have a disability you are still great . Those girls is not your real friend keep your distance from them make some better friends that won’t judge you . I’m a girl I pretended to be this girl that went to my old high school. I was catfishing mostly guys I spoke to a few girls as friends . I only talked to some through text and two others we had a phone relationship until they found out the truth about me .. catfishing only lead me to be more depressed
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Oxford Mum
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So this is actually all about being bullied at school? That’s sad.

I was too, and I’m here to tell you that things will get better.

Just enjoy your youth, rather than worrying about whether or not you’re popular.

When you get to my age, you’re worrying about the bills instead!!
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Jmonay
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IrisM65 yea that’s true I made them feel played .. wow I never thought of it that way . Those ppl on social media can make ppl feel jealous especially if ur lifestyle isn’t like theirs . Yea it’s time that be myself I need to learn
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IrisM65
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That sounds good.

Take a step back and think about what you like doing; have fun trying out different styles, hair; make up.

You are unique so show the world just how special you are,
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