Would you ever marry a female surgeon? (I'm south asian) Watch

Anonymous #1
#41
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#41
(Original post by FinalMasquerade)
Hi Anon,

It sounds rather peculiar of them to be discouraging you. However, you clearly have some aims you wish to achieve in your career field. That should not hinder your marital and family life. Sure, later down the line you may have to make some compromises and sacrifices, but that is par for the course, regardless of career choice. Rather than assuming things will not work out and rejecting people based on other's views, have a serious conversation with the person. Let them know your career ambitions. If they conflict, then you will know where you stand.

All the best with it.
This is helpful, thanks maybe I need to give people a chance
0
reply
Anonymous #6
#42
Report 1 month ago
#42
(Original post by Anonymous)
Everyone at med school thinks brown girls want to be housewives but I dont. I want to have a successful surgical career and also a husband and 2 children.
Do south asian men find this unattractive?
I get the feeling they want someone to cook and clean. I keep rejecting south Asian guys that I like back because I know it's better for them to go for a housewife cos even if we are in love they wont be happy deep down.
Is it a turn off for asian men and men in general? Im religious too so would prefer to end up with a religious man but feel they are more likely to prefer a woman who is at home a lot.
I am very kind and passionate. Very smart and talented, would make a great surgeon and friend! If I dont pursue my dreams I am not reaching my potential. I know i could be top in my chosen field and I'm already showing it. I dont want a "normal" life. What do u think?
Plenty of Muslim men have wives who are doctor. If anything puts them off in your case, it will be probably be your level of arrogance, not your career choice.
0
reply
Anonymous #6
#43
Report 1 month ago
#43
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm starting 5th yr intercalating. Yorkshire med school!
There is no "Yorkshire med school"
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#44
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#44
(Original post by Anonymous)
Plenty of Muslim men have wives who are doctor. If anything puts them off in your case, it will be probably be your level of arrogance, not your career choice.
I am extremely shy and not arrogant at all so that wont be a problem thank you that is very encouraging
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#45
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#45
(Original post by Anonymous)
Plenty of Muslim men have wives who are doctor. If anything puts them off in your case, it will be probably be your level of arrogance, not your career choice.
I am extremely shy and not arrogant at all so that wont be a problem thank you that is very encouraging

(Original post by Anonymous)
There is no "Yorkshire med school"
Lol I'm on anon so obv dont want to give away who I am. There are lots of medical schools in Yorkshire 😂 loool
0
reply
HumbleBee_x
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#46
Report 1 month ago
#46
I don't think south asian guys think like that at all
0
reply
SmileyfriendlyXD
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#47
Report 1 month ago
#47
Hmm I wonder why there's a correlation between being religious and having misogynistic views :rolleyes:
0
reply
Anonymous #6
#48
Report 1 month ago
#48
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am extremely shy and not arrogant at all so that wont be a problem thank you that is very encouraging
Read your messages - that is not how you come across
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#49
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#49
(Original post by SmileyfriendlyXD)
Hmm I wonder why there's a correlation between being religious and having misogynistic views :rolleyes:
I believe it's a cultural thing honestly! And in asian cultures more people follow certain religions so it gets misconstrued as being down to religion
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#50
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#50
(Original post by Anonymous)
Read your messages - that is not how you come across
This was not my intention and I am on anon so am speaking honestly about myself, I have never been described as arrogant and actually very down to earth. Maybe people are more likely to see people in the medical profession as arrogant, possibly as a pre conceived stereotype. I am from humble background and worked very hard to get here. I would not say I fit in with some personalities in surgery because I am not arrogant and obnoxious, and this has actually been difficult because I dont see anyone like "me" in the places I want to enter. Dont mistake self confidence and self awareness with arrogance. I know very well my weaknesses and strengths and spend every day of my life trying to better myself as a person regardless... it may shock you but there are people out there who are very good at what they do and are self aware enough to recognise this without thinking they're god or entitled or gods gift to humanity if we were all cr*p at what we do we wouldnt be trusted to save anyone life. Everyone in my field is amazing and worked their life away to do what they do, but not everyone is arrogant! Thank you for your input. If you met me in real life you would shock yourself after this statement 😭😂😂
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#51
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#51
(Original post by HumbleBee_x)
I don't think south asian guys think like that at all
I hope so! I know i dont want to stereotype. I'm more concerned about the older generation I guess. Thank you
1
reply
Anonymous #7
#52
Report 1 month ago
#52
(Original post by Anonymous)
The only speciality where u are a medical doctor and also the surgeon so patients dont need referral.
What about O&G?
0
reply
DANIDUJAY
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#53
Report 1 month ago
#53
(Original post by Aaryra)
I definitely agree. Brown guys act as if wives replace their mums, but I do think younger ones agree that we have a right to a career and stuff. I hope the trend continues!
That's an old assumption. The trend ends with milennials, I guess. Neither me or my friends actually expect their SOs to stay at home. I'd actually be happier if my future SO would be from a field of study similar to mine, gives us something to converse abt.
0
reply
Anonymous #8
#54
Report 1 month ago
#54
I'm not Asian but your an actual role model. don't know who you are but i want to go into surgery I was put off because I'm a woman and don't know any female surgeons. Inshallah you find some one just wanted to post this anon #1
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#55
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#55
(Original post by Anonymous)
What about O&G?
Enjoyed this but prefer a mixed patient population
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#56
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#56
(Original post by DANIDUJAY)
That's an old assumption. The trend ends with milennials, I guess. Neither me or my friends actually expect their SOs to stay at home. I'd actually be happier if my future SO would be from a field of study similar to mine, gives us something to converse abt.
Thank you you are very inspiring. I would love the same. At the end of the day we are all human and I would to have an intelligent conversation with my other half and work to be understood. Woman or man, it should not stop your from pursuing your dreams and doing good along the way. Thanks
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#57
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#57
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not Asian but your an actual role model. don't know who you are but i want to go into surgery I was put off because I'm a woman and don't know any female surgeons. Inshallah you find some one just wanted to post this anon #1
Thank you that means a lot. I dont see myself as a role model tbh, I'm so shy and probably have a bit of imposter syndrome but I love what I am doing and rarely find girls as (quietly) motivated. My mother never got to live her dreams and I have every opportunity to do that. If there is one thing I can say- I will pursue whatever I want to even if it makes it harder for me to find someone. I always think can I even do surgery? Are these women something special? But I'm not letting these doubts stop me.. or how weird my traditional female friends find me. Imagine being in your elderly years, or even deathbed and thinking "what if I pursued surgery? What if I could have been the nicest, skilled and inspiring surgeon?". I dont want regrets.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#58
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#58
Thank you that means a lot. I dont see myself as a role model tbh, I'm so shy and probably have a bit of imposter syndrome but I love what I am doing and rarely find girls as (quietly) motivated. My mother never got to live her dreams and I have every opportunity to do that. If there is one thing I can say- I will pursue whatever I want to even if it makes it harder for me to find someone. I always think can I even do surgery? Are these women something special? But I'm not letting these doubts stop me.. or how weird my traditional female friends find me. Imagine being in your elderly years, or even deathbed and thinking "what if I pursued surgery? What if I could have been the nicest, skilled and inspiring surgeon?". I dont want regrets.

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not Asian but your an actual role model. don't know who you are but i want to go into surgery I was put off because I'm a woman and don't know any female surgeons. Inshallah you find some one just wanted to post this anon #1
And inshaAllah you get to live your dreams with no fear. Who knows, we may unknowingly bump into eachother one day 😂
0
reply
Farhan.Hanif93
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#59
Report 1 month ago
#59
(Original post by Anonymous)
Everyone at med school thinks brown girls want to be housewives but I dont. I want to have a successful surgical career and also a husband and 2 children.
Do south asian men find this unattractive?
I get the feeling they want someone to cook and clean. I keep rejecting south Asian guys that I like back because I know it's better for them to go for a housewife cos even if we are in love they wont be happy deep down.
Is it a turn off for asian men and men in general? Im religious too so would prefer to end up with a religious man but feel they are more likely to prefer a woman who is at home a lot.
I am very kind and passionate. Very smart and talented, would make a great surgeon and friend! If I dont pursue my dreams I am not reaching my potential. I know i could be top in my chosen field and I'm already showing it. I dont want a "normal" life. What do u think?
I find this whole scenario you're proposing very bizarre, this is 2019. I'm "south Asian", male and neither myself nor those I know personally (around my age, 26) hold such a backwards view; I have to question the people you're speaking to...

I wouldn't consider marrying anyone with ambitions that lack significantly behind my own - primarily because ambitious and hard working people carry many qualities that make for great, meaningful and functional relationships. I'd want my kids to be surrounded by positive influences, and definitely feel like there'd be a healthier power dynamic if the mother was earning well and doing something she loved. Certainly won't settle for a housewife. Obviously, ambition is insufficient on its own though. I'm not religious (and I agree that requiring a religious man complicates matters) but I suspect there's at least a few out there with reasonable views on this.

Part of me is unsure if your post(s) is (are) a thinly-veiled 'humblebrag' of sorts. You list many clearly rather desirable qualities that you possess (kindness, passion, talented), then ask if they'd put people off? I hope I've misunderstood, and that this isn't your motivation.
2
reply
Anonymous #7
#60
Report 1 month ago
#60
(Original post by Anonymous)
Enjoyed this but prefer a mixed patient population
No I mean obstetrics is a speciality where you can be a medical doctor and a surgeon. It's not just ENT.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How has the start of this academic year been for you?

Loving it - gonna be a great year (113)
17.77%
It's just nice to be back! (173)
27.2%
Not great so far... (227)
35.69%
I want to drop out! (123)
19.34%

Watched Threads

View All