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USA: Notice of revocation of independence watch

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    I thought it was quite jokey and tongue-in-cheek actually. It's supposed to outline the view of American culture that we have, only in a witty way.

    Patriots and Nationalists are bound to be offended by something like this.
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    (Original post by piginapoke)
    Someone should do the inverse of this post, i.e. from an American standpoint having a pop at the British. I suspect we'll find it rather amusing.
    I'm afraid i have to say it doesnt seem that way, based on the reaction from those letters from americans about brits having a say in the U.S election.
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    (Original post by piginapoke)
    Do you know the difference between a joke, and actually having a pop at someone?
    Yes but there were some parts such as "limey" that people responded "Yankee ******s" to.
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    (Original post by piginapoke)
    I started to have a go at doing the inverse, but I can't be bothered. Here's what I've ended up with:

    "1. This may come as quite a shock but the UK is no longer a force in the world, you are of no importance and nobody outside your country really cares what you say. The British Empire is in fact, contrary to what you may believe, defunct. Someone else is in charge now, get used to it. You have been superceded and outgrown by others who have moved forward rather than stagnating in their own filth and misplaced sense of self importance.

    2. Please understand that there exists a language known as "US English", based on what you amusingly refer to as "proper English" but with many idiosyncracies of spelling removed. Note that there is no definitive pronounciation of any word, and your incessant mocking of US accents is rather duplicitous given the startling range of incomprehensible accents present in your lands - a fact conveniently forgotten when pointing out flaws in others' speech patterns. Remember that just because someone pronounces words differently to you, it doesn't mean they are mentally deficient. You should realise that not everyone can understand the perculiarities of your accents, have a sense of audience and at least try to make yourself intelligible to the rest of the world (or indeed to anyone outside your particular region).

    3. You will be forced to get rid of your dire national anthem, the tune is terrible. It will be replaced by an up-tempo, inspiring number which sounds somewhat less like a dirge. The resulting uplift provided by this will go some way to reversing your ingrained self pity.

    4. Try to understand that just because someone doesn't 'get' your jokes, it doesn't mean that they don't have a sense of humour. Understand that your sense of humour is simply different to that of other nations and yours is not superior, or others' inferior.

    5. Dental hygeine. Please keep your teeth clean, there's nothing worse than beholding a mouth packed with crooked, yellow teeth, ejaculating spittle with the odour of goat urine. Floss.

    6. Pouring large amounts of lager down your neck until you vomit before continuing to pour said lager down said throat, before starting a fight with an innocent bystander in the street, before purchasing something approximating substandard animal fodder (known as 'a kebab'), before vomiting said foodstuffs onto the pavement, does not pass for culture."
    That is absolutely hilarious!

    I agree about the national anthem. 'Land of hope and glory' is a much better tune, and a bit more up-to-date considering the reduced role of the monarch.
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    (Original post by piginapoke)
    Do you know the difference between a joke, and actually having a pop at someone?
    As an American I can say that anytime a thread has the word "American" somewhere in it, then it takes on a life of its own and is usually an open door to blatant american bashing. If you are the recipicant of this, then it does get a bit old after a while. Yeah its funny the first time, and maybe even the second, and heck.. even the third. But when its day after day, then the humor seems to wear off.
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    Isn't anyone bored of America bashing yet? I thought you were supposed to hate France more than us. Where are all the French bashing threads?
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    (Original post by piginapoke)
    I imagine it does. Surely though this thread can't be lumped in with 'blatant american bashing'?
    what category would you put it under out of curiousity?
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    (Original post by piginapoke)
    There are vitriolic humourless tossers everywhere.
    heh this is true.
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    (Original post by Mr White)
    Anyone who thinks otherwise is stupid and should lighten up for chrissakes.
    you prove our point entirely
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    (Original post by katiesado)
    what category would you put it under out of curiousity?
    Humour.
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    (Original post by piginapoke)
    Surely though this thread can't be lumped in with 'blatant american bashing'?
    Yeah, this one is ok. I actually thought the passage was quite funny.
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    The first post was funny when I saw it the first time, in 'e-tales', two years ago! But piginapoke's satire of the satire is going to be printed off and stuck to all the sides of my room's door!
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    (Original post by Kondar)
    As an American I can say that anytime a thread has the word "American" somewhere in it, then it takes on a life of its own and is usually an open door to blatant american bashing. If you are the recipicant of this, then it does get a bit old after a while. Yeah its funny the first time, and maybe even the second, and heck.. even the third. But when its day after day, then the humor seems to wear off.
    Add native to 'american' in your post and you've summed up exactly how most of my people feel. And unfortunately thats at the hands of americans as it would seem the rest of the world believes we are extinct.
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    I'll have a go...
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    (Original post by Infinity)
    Add native to 'american' in your post and you've summed up exactly how most of my people feel. And unfortunately thats at the hands of americans as it would seem the rest of the world believes we are extinct.
    Infinity, I feel that what happened to the Native Americans was a shame. I've always admired and wondered about their culture and it is nice to come across someone with that background.
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    Well what's done is in the past, but I do wish that more respect would be shown to us as a people today. I mostly blame hollywood for their botched up portrayal of our people, I mean how can you not make fun of a big nosed, feather and loin cloth wearing red man who's walking arround saying things like "how!" and "me smokeum peacepipe and bringum big vision from ****a tanka, get me many ponies and stealum white bride and makeum many halfbreed sons, makum good warriors. " or worse yet is called 'Winds in his hair', hell I'd be lying if I said we didn't make fun of it ourselves because that simply is not what we are like, however when some asks you if you are indian and after replying "yes I'm cherokee" they say something like "cool can I take you for a test drive?" or "turn arround I wanna see if there's a jeep emblem on your azz" you tend to get abit fed up. I guess I'm abit on edge about it lately, but I just wish people could see how disrespectful it really is. Hell, this is national native american month here in america, (how many of you knew that?) anyway a jeep dealership here in town is holding a sale this month in 'honor' of it, all jeep cherokees are on sale during the national native american recognition month, hmmm funny thing is I don't see the honor in it. They also have a big sign that says "SUPPORT OUR NATIVE AMERICANS! BUY A CHEROKEE!" That sign is gonna get egged bigtime this weekend. Shhhh!!!!
    Anyway my whole point with my last post was that no matter how harmless the joke may seem there is always someone on the receiving end who is going to be offended and/or hurt by the comments being made, {whether it be brittish/american american/brittish american/nativeamerican ect...} it's easy to say someone is being uptight and/or overreacting when you are not in their position. I too found the comments in the original post funny, but am sympathetic to those who were and are offended by those comments, maybe instead of everyone throwing insults at them, you all could show abit of understanding for why they feel offended.
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    (Original post by Infinity)
    "SUPPORT OUR NATIVE AMERICANS! BUY A CHEROKEE!"
    Thats the stupidest/saddest thing ive heard, but unfortunaltey it does not suprise me too much. Are people openly disrespectful to you? Ive always had a good impression of native americans, Im sorry if others dont feel that way.
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    Here in PA I wouldn't call it open disrespect, in most cases they don't even realize that what they are saying is offensive they just think it's funny then wonder why I'm not laughing. But I have had people continue on even after I've told them they were being offensive, just because they thought it was funny. I've been called a squ*w over and over at the bar even though I've told these jerks that squ*w is an extremely derogaitory word, but they don't care. I see the worst at powwows in the summer, people are very disrespectful to us arround here, (again most unintentionally) I have been told that my regalia (traditional dancing clothes) was to flashy or too colorful and that I should be wearing buckskins. {Like I don't know what my people wore to dance in} I have been insulted for dressing like everyoneelse when I was not dancing, I was asked why I was trying to be white and told to dress like my own people. {that one really shocked me} In school when I was younger I tried to hide it by plying on makeup to make myself look alot lighter than I am because I felt ashamed of who I am my teachers made me feel that way from a very young age.
    I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.
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    (Original post by Dr_Death)
    That is absolutely hilarious!

    I agree about the national anthem. 'Land of hope and glory' is a much better tune, and a bit more up-to-date considering the reduced role of the monarch.
    Agreed. Apart from the fact that I laughed so hard that I spat orange juice all over my touch pad and it didn't work for the next half an hour.

    I rather like Jerusalem.
    The final line of the first verse of Land of Hope and Glory is: Thine Empire shall be strong, which is also kind of dated.
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    (Original post by Mr White)
    How did I know that this thread would be followed by a multi-paged argument? *sigh*

    Well, I thought it was funny. Anyone who thinks otherwise is stupid and should lighten up for chrissakes.
    So did I. Hilarious, in fact. The first time I saw it, the second, and even the third but by the fiftieth it was becoming rather tedious. (I have very well-intentioned friends!)

    As I said, it's been floating around in cyberspace for years.
 
 
 
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