Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Noone in my life understands me.
Noone is willing to listen and even TRY and understand me.
Noone cares.
I'm 19.
I didn't ever think life could get so difficult. My own family do not understand me. They don't see my side of things and how I feel.
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Anonymous #2
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There are avenues/ people who are willing to listen. You can find people on here for example.
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RazzzBerries
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There are avenues/ people who are willing to listen. You can find people on here for example.
This ^

Speak to us and tell us exactly what your problem is and we'll work it out from there.
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ThatOldGuy
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#4
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Yes. It kind of sounds like you're dealing with depression at the moment, but that's based on two sentences and may be completely inaccurate. Care to tell us a bit more?

I don't want to say 'Everything will be all right. Someone out there understands' if you, for instance, just dragged a PC under your car and were arrested for murder and nobody is on your side. Because you might be completely in the wrong.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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I have been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety, a year ago. That was after finding the courage to visit my GP.
Life for me has always been great, I've had the best upbringing, got good grades, now at uni. My family are well off so money had never been an issue and I wouldn't say I'm spoilt because I don't go splashing out all my cash.
But money can't buy me happiness and that's what I need right now.

I knew I was gay about 5 years ago. But didn't dare to say anything to anyone. I just kept myself to myself and focused on my studies because I knew I wouldn't be getting married at the age of like 14!
Now, my sister is soon going to marry she is 21, she'll marry when she's 22. She has found someone that makes her happy and I'm happy for her.

I have always been the one who 'listens to my parents' and the caring one. My parents want me to find someone too but I cannot. Now is when I've been trying to come out to my parents and tell them why I do not want to marry. My mom even asked me once, after my siblings called me 'gay'. My mom asked 'are you a lesbian?' She stared at me with cold eyes and I said yes. And my mom said 'I know you are'. But still she is in denial. She does not let me talk about my feelings, I cannot talk about being LGBT.
My dad does not know any of this. And when my dad also tells me to find a man, how will I be able to??? My dad will honestly not accept my sexuality. My dad is unaware of the LGBT community. My dad is from an asian country which explains lol.
My mom is from here yet she does not understand.

Last year October, I came out to my teacher.(also gay too) this was whilst I was at uni. She has been telling me to speak to charities and telling me how she left home but then her family accepted her. And even if they didn't she wouldn't have cared.

But, I'm religious. And I know very well my religion does not accept my sexuality. I am WILLING to restrain my feelings for my entire life and just be SINGLE. this is a sacrifice I am willing to make!!!!!!
But my parents do not want me to be single, they want me to find a man, get married, have kids and be happy. That is how they see me, they want me to have a life like my sister.
But how can I when I'm not straight???
I just do not want to marry. Whether it being a Male or female I just want o be single. I do not want to live unhappily by marrying a man and also do not want to commit a sin by marrying a woman.

I've tried telling my friends this last year (after I came out to my teacher) but my friends told me 'no, you cannot be gay- you'll get over it dont worry'.

My teacher, since last year has been there for me. Even yesterday I sent her a bit of a rant abou how I had yet another argument with my mom who told me 'you have to marry if you're single you'll be lonely, you won't be able to have children, you'll have additional stress and also be disowned'.

But even though my teacher is there for me, I feel EXTREMELY (X10) guilty telling her my personal issues.
It's because noone else understands but she does.

I have a large family and many friends yet still feel so lonely.
I am a good person, always caring about others always putting others first, this is why I'm not able to move out (like my teacher did), I cannot see tears in my parents eyes.

I don't understand, I'm not being stubborn and saying 'I'm a lesbian, accept it or not, I'm going to marry a woman' , I'm not saying that because I know firstly my religion does not allow homosexuality.
ALL I'm saying is 'please understand me, I'm not attracted to the opposite sex'.

They tried to get me talking more to a boy who is our family friends son. (I've known him since I was small). He is attracted to me but I'm not. As they are family friends they've been visiting our house for dinner and that and I feel uncomfortable so I text my friend to call me and I go out the room and be chatting to her because I just so not want to be in the same room as someone whom my parents think I can be in a relationship with! In the past i was able to talk to him and joke but now seeing that he likes me in that way, i cannot look at him in a friend way again!!!
I cant tell him I'm gay because thay would cause shame.
I feel like such a bad person but when he asks me things I just shrug my shoulders or give one word answers. And I think he knows I have no interest in him!!
But my family still encourage these family friends to come around for dinner often... in hope that I will like our family friends son.

My life has got to the worst possible time. I cannot think of my life getting any worse.
I really can't.
The only person I have is my past teacher but I feel guilty telling her things as I do not want to burden her.
So I just feel so down and sick. Right now I'm in bed, in tears. My head hurts, I have chest pains and I can't eat or sleep.
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Anonymous #1
#6
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Zarek
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#7
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I would go and see a counsellor through the students union. Someone with empathy and experience can be really useful to talk to. And perhaps see if there is anything more the GP can do to help with the anxiety. There is a way through this.
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shadowdweller
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Bump
It sounds like you're going through a really tough time - if you ever need someone to talk to, my PMs are always open. I know you mentioned that your teacher suggested talking to charities - have you done so, at all?

These supportlines might be of use to you:

LGBT Foundation - Anyone, LGBT issues and advice
Tel: 0345 330 30 30
Website: https://lgbt.foundation

AKT - Room For Love
https://www.akt.org.uk/

Switchboard (LGBT)
https://switchboard.lgbt/

It sounds like talking to your teacher has been helping? So I would suggest continuing to do so, but also to reach out to some of these supportlines and talking things through with them. At the end of the day, it's your life to choose what to do with - if you're okay with remaining single, then it's not up to anyone to decide otherwise for you.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by shadowdweller)
It sounds like you're going through a really tough time - if you ever need someone to talk to, my PMs are always open. I know you mentioned that your teacher suggested talking to charities - have you done so, at all?

These supportlines might be of use to you:

LGBT Foundation - Anyone, LGBT issues and advice
Tel: 0345 330 30 30
Website: https://lgbt.foundation

AKT - Room For Love
https://www.akt.org.uk/

Switchboard (LGBT)
https://switchboard.lgbt/

It sounds like talking to your teacher has been helping? So I would suggest continuing to do so, but also to reach out to some of these supportlines and talking things through with them. At the end of the day, it's your life to choose what to do with - if you're okay with remaining single, then it's not up to anyone to decide otherwise for you.
Yes, talking to my teacher really helpsI just worry I may be bothering her
And i did speak to a few charities but they told me to move out and that's not something I can do
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shadowdweller
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#10
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, talking to my teacher really helpsI just worry I may be bothering her
And i did speak to a few charities but they told me to move out and that's not something I can do
I think if you were bothering her, she wouldn't make herself available to talk to you still?

Is moving out something you can't do now, or something you won't be able to do in the long-term either?
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Anonymous #1
#11
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Hmm that's true. She does reply to me when I need her and now it's the holidays so I don't bother her much lol.

And I'm Asian and we can't really move out until after marriage otherwise its seen as a taboo.
So if my parents accept me for staying single then maybe I'd one day live in my own place but if not then I can only move out once I'm married!!
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Spanx
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(Original post by RazzzBerries)
This ^

Speak to us and tell us exactly what your problem is and we'll work it out from there.
Haha! What's your problem mate?!

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ThatOldGuy
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, talking to my teacher really helpsI just worry I may be bothering her
And i did speak to a few charities but they told me to move out and that's not something I can do
Can I ask what religion you are and whether or not you believe the religion is correct? That will really impact what I would say next.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ThatOldGuy)
Can I ask what religion you are and whether or not you believe the religion is correct? That will really impact what I would say next.
My religion is Islam, I do believe in my religion wholeheartedly, i however do not understand why homosexuality is a sin! That is the only point I question however, because my religion claims it's a sin this is why I'm willing to restrain my feelings and remain single. But my family do not want me to be single (and ofcourse they wont understand either if I say I'm gay!)

Also, my teacher is the one I've been telling this to. And she understands. I have ranted to her a few times I guess its because I'm envious that she had such a supportive family (even though it was hard for her at one point) whereas unlike her I have that pressure to marry hence why at times I've let my frustration out on her-now she knows why!).
But I feel bad for telling her this. I don't want to be a pain
Thank you.
Please dont criticise my religion, it means alot to me.
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ThatOldGuy
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#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My religion is Islam, I do believe in my religion wholeheartedly, i however do not understand why homosexuality is a sin! That is the only point I question however, because my religion claims it's a sin this is why I'm willing to restrain my feelings and remain single. But my family do not want me to be single (and ofcourse they wont understand either if I say I'm gay!)

Also, my teacher is the one I've been telling this to. And she understands. I have ranted to her a few times I guess its because I'm envious that she had such a supportive family (even though it was hard for her at one point) whereas unlike her I have that pressure to marry hence why at times I've let my frustration out on her-now she knows why!).
But I feel bad for telling her this. I don't want to be a pain
Thank you.
Please dont criticise my religion, it means alot to me.
I won't criticise your religion. Instead, I'm going to put some perspective on this.

You believe that God exists. You believe He is all-loving and you believe that He is omniscient, right?

And you believe that He has said not to act on homosexual feelings, right?

'Cause that seems to me to have answered your question. You might not understand, but you accept He knows better than you.

There will be a lot of people who will tell you to do whatever you want. Lots of people who want you to ignore one part of your beliefs to support theirs, but remember that what they're really saying is to ignore the religious part of who you are.

It's tricky, the situation you're in. I'm afraid I don't know much about the support network for gay Muslims.
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Anonymous #1
#16
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(Original post by ThatOldGuy)
I won't criticise your religion. Instead, I'm going to put some perspective on this.

You believe that God exists. You believe He is all-loving and you believe that He is omniscient, right?

And you believe that He has said not to act on homosexual feelings, right?

'Cause that seems to me to have answered your question. You might not understand, but you accept He knows better than you.

There will be a lot of people who will tell you to do whatever you want. Lots of people who want you to ignore one part of your beliefs to support theirs, but remember that what they're really saying is to ignore the religious part of who you are.

It's tricky, the situation you're in. I'm afraid I don't know much about the support network for gay Muslims.
Its okay!
Thank you for the advice you could give me
And yes, many people tell me to let go off my religion but no I cannot and will not do that. X
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