How do y’all do it

How do y’all make friends?
I recently moved to uk and I don’t know how to approach anyone,what to say and alll
most times I feel like I’m boring and they’re just gonna hate me, oh well

Reply 1

Chronoscope

Volunteer Section Leader

Idk

even for me
(Sorry thats probably not you want to hear).

But my main priority when meeting new people is to define common interests :yep:

Reply 2

username4347578

Hi what’s your name? And smile

Reply 3

Rubeeey

My name is precious
Lolll :smile:

Reply 4

LilliannaEliza

This is kinda vague. What are your circumstances? Are you joining a school? University? The work force? The advice will be different for each. Also from your use of "y'all" I'm assuming that you're American so tailoring my advice to that, sorry if you're not lol.

School: Be aware of how different British schooling is to what you're used to. In most schools, you have 11 year olds in the same enviroment as 18 year olds. If there isn't a sixth form attached, it'll be up to 16 year olds. Depending on your age, this could seem really intimidating as an outsider. Education here is also extremely fast past and focused on deciding future career paths incredibly early on (I have noticed from American presence online that British teenagers in general are a lot more mature, and I think that this is why!), which again, could be seen as very intimidating if it's not something you're used to. You will find yourself cutting out subjects after only studying them for two years (at 13 years old!!), adding new ones in, preparing for mocks and assessments very early on. Try not to let any of this faze you, as if you're unprepared for it you'll look like even more of an outsider, inhibiting the friendship making process. Just take it all in your side and friendships will come naturally, as they do in school.

University: If you're staying in halls, leave your door open so people can walk past and say hi. Try and join as many societies as you possibly can to meet people with similar interests. Talk to people on your course that you see in lectures or seminars. Remember that everyone's in the same boat at uni, no one knows eachother so they're trying to figure it out as much as you are!

Work: This is probably the trickiest one tbh, as most people have their friendship groups established by this point. Just be pleasant and go out to drinks with people when invited to, and you'll get to meet people through friends and friends of friends.

General advice: You will be bantered A LOT whatever age you are about being an immigrant, being American, and having an accent. It's what we Brits do, I'm afraid. Although at times it may feel nasty or like it's getting too much, try not to take it to heart, there is 100% no malice behind it. Laugh along with it or respond with your own gentle banter back, as getting upset about it will both cause offense and make people think you're too soft: people don't tend to take kindly over here to when others respond to banter too seriously. Doing that won't win you any favours, trust me. Also don't try too hard if that makes sense? Be pleasant, kind, and approachable, but not too in your face with it. That is NOT the British way, and people will be affronted and almost slightly wary of you from the get go. A smile and a hello is fine, a full blown conversation with someone the first time you meet them is weird.

Reply 5

Adam.Williams02

Look all I'm gonna say is. When you make friends, the way you approach them doesn't matter. It is how they respond. If they give a negative response, how can they be your friend. If they are positive and welcome you in. That's what you call a friend.
Just start talking about something similar to what is actually going on. For example, if you watch football in a pub (not that I'm a pub lad 💀) just nudge someone and say something related such as "who we rooting for then?" with a bit of energy. if they reply positively. just introduce yourself and keep talking about the football and then talk about other interests.
If it's negative. stop trying. they're toxic energy.

I hope this is helpful :smile:

)

Reply 6

Zain_Ahmed

Original post by Rubeeey

How do y’all make friends?
I recently moved to uk and I don’t know how to approach anyone,what to say and alll
most times I feel like I’m boring and they’re just gonna hate me, oh well