The Student Room Group

Boyfriend called me a fat bitch

I am so upset :frown: We just had a row about how much he spent on a nightout last night (some of it was my birthday money). Things got pretty heated and when I said I couldn't trust him he just said "oh **** off you fat bitch!"

I know I'm not the skinniest thing in the world but there is no need for personal insults that have nothing to do with the subject in hand. Well anyway I stormed out, he was being so aggressive. Now i don't want to see him, I don't want to be with someone who thinks I'm fat and doesn't like my body. I also feel really hurt and insecure now :frown: blah

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Well when you're angry you will say hurtful things. To be honest I think that's a bit uncalled for and you should get out of the relationship if you're really unhappy.
Reply 2
Maybe you should wait until everything has calmed down and then talk to him about it.
Reply 3
Man, that sucks. He may not have meant it and just said it in the heat of the arguement, but you shouldn't forgive him too readily! He will probably come crawling back eventually.
Reply 4
Firstly, He has to go, no turning back. You don't deserve to be in a relationship where he does something wrong and you get verbally abused.

Its hard but you need to let go of what he said, don't begin to think that it is how he thinks of you, especially as (im assuming) he was drunk.

Go out with some friends, cheer yourself up and find a new guy. Also go and get your birthday money back.
It's a very generic insult - as difficult as it sounds .... try not to necessarily take it personally.
People do say things when they are heated and by the sounds of it your argument was very heated.

Deep breaths OP & allow things to cool off and let him know you wont tolerate such insults and that he should apologise.

Edit: Get your money back!!
That's horrific. Tear a stripe of him for that.
Reply 8
:smile: I think you should look at he if really meant the comment, is he the type of person to say nasty personal insults, might have been in the heat of the moment,. But then again he said so it must have been unconciously on his mind.
You need to decide/find out if he really feels that way about, sure he will say he didnt mean it etc till the next time you row. YOU need to work out if he thinks it and if he does hes not worth the trouble.
He's a dick.
but it's just an expression.
like "big fat liar" has nothing to do with someones size ,and it comes out because he wanted ot hurt you - not comment on your size.

Itd be far more hurtful if he calmly sat you down and told you you were fat.
Probably just the first insult that came into his head. I wouldn't focus on it.
Reply 11
I think he thinks I'm fat though. I'm a size 10 but his last girlfriend was tiny! (She ended up in hospital from anorexia - she's still there) so yeah I suppose I am large compared to her.

Now I'll feel self consious with him :s:
Reply 12
Personally, weight is a touchy subject for me and if my boyfriend ever said anything like that to me, angry or not, I would dump him very fast. I can understand that it is quite a generic insult, but sometimes people say what they really think/feel in the heat of the moment. Still, I'd talk it through. :smile:
I'd dump him for that. Were you ever insecure about your body before he said it? If you were, and he knew that, then there's no excuse for him calling you that, drunk or not.
Reply 14
:biggrin: Return back to your lover with the safe knowledge that he sees you as fat.

On a more nicer note: Fat doesn't always mean negative. But he twisted it into something negative that time.
tis_me_lord
It's a very generic insult - as difficult as it sounds .... try not to necessarily take it personally.

:ditto:

He probably wasn't actually referring to your weight, in the same way as you don't refer to someone's sexuality when you go 'you're gay!!!'

Still, it was out of order of him and the fact that he's insulting you at all isn't good. BUT he doesn't mean you're actually fat.
Reply 16
dump him .. that is so out of order ! thats not how you talk to your bf/gf .. infact thats not how you talk to anyone
dump his skinny ass!
at least he didn't call you 'a ****ing c-word'

talk to him about it. but from experience, if you're arguing like this now over money...things will get worse. if you're unhappy leave him. but I know from my experience with my boyfriend he never means what he says when he's angry and he says some pretty awful things i.e. see above.
Reply 19
Anonymous
I think he thinks I'm fat though. I'm a size 10 but his last girlfriend was tiny! (She ended up in hospital from anorexia - she's still there) so yeah I suppose I am large compared to her.

Now I'll feel self consious with him :s:



A size 10?! Your not fat at all! Size 10 is like the perfect size to be