university this year feel depressed

Maybe you can change course after a year

Hi,

I've really ****ed up badly this time. I got rly good grades in sixth form but didn't know what to study. I was so close to going to uni last september but just didn't turn up and decided to have a year off. This past year was meant to be me sorting me life out. I had a university offer and then in clearing decided to get some more to think about my life. They have all pretty much expired now and I am just choosing between my original course or the clearing offer. It has only just dawned on me today that I should have made this decision months ago, and it wasn't that I wasn't thinking about it, I have just let it drag out for way too long. So now my 2 courses are both ones which idek if I want to do. I am so stuck. I don't want to take a second gap year, I would honestly prefer to just give university a go for the first few months/ year.

I just feel like i was breezing along with my offer and thinking "i'll see if any different ones are available in clearing" without actually making the definite decision about whether, if one I liked was available in clearing, whether I would go for it.

I feel like such an idiot and really really hating myself. My good grades are going to waste pretty much. I don't know what to do and can't believe I have put myself in this situation. Wow.

FYI: my original choice was engineering.

My clearing choice: Neuroscience and maths joint honours.

Other options: Economics, finance, management kind of degree. Neither my original choice or clearing choice will be able for me to transfer onto this.

I choose my first option because I thought it was pretty employable but i don't even know if I would hate studying engineering, and I deffo don't want to be an engineer at the end of it. The neuroscience and maths option is because i will find it more interesting plus I thought this degree would still be well regarded to get into finance. The businessy type courses, I doubt I will find as enjoyable (as I prefer science) but it will get me into a job in the industry. i don't know whether anyone will have me with a degree in maths and neuroscience. I won't be able to take a masters in finance and stuff and arghhhhhh what should I do? I'm basically a ****ing idiot but I think it made sense in my mind at the time why I was just drifting along not doing anything and not taking up my clearing offer for Economics and finance (which has now expired).