Meet up with online guy? Cautious? Watch

Anonymous #1
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Hey all, if you could help please, thank you.. so me and this guy have been on/off texting for two years. He lives about 3 hours away. He’s been very nice when I was ill. We know what we look like but no face time/Skype.

I’ve asked him twice to meet up when I went to his city. He couldn’t. Anyhow he’s coming to mine. Part of me really wants to meet, we have a sort of plan to meet tomorrow but I’m scared that he could be a creep. My sister is dead against me meeting him. But I feel like I want to, but I’m getting scared. Is it normal not to want to meet someone when I’ve tried on two other occasions? He talks a bit about sexual stuff so I dunno that’s putting me off? I’m scared he won’t be who he says he has is but I also don’t want to miss this chance. What do you think? Thank you
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inattentional
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I would ask to skype, and if you do meet him let someone know when/where kinda thing or even ask them to join!
Maybe tell him also that you don’t like the sexual comments etc
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SMEGGGY
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey all, if you could help please, thank you.. so me and this guy have been on/off texting for two years. He lives about 3 hours away. He’s been very nice when I was ill. We know what we look like but no face time/Skype.

I’ve asked him twice to meet up when I went to his city. He couldn’t. Anyhow he’s coming to mine. Part of me really wants to meet, we have a sort of plan to meet tomorrow but I’m scared that he could be a creep. My sister is dead against me meeting him. But I feel like I want to, but I’m getting scared. Is it normal not to want to meet someone when I’ve tried on two other occasions? He talks a bit about sexual stuff so I dunno that’s putting me off? I’m scared he won’t be who he says he has is but I also don’t want to miss this chance. What do you think? Thank you
You've never crammed?!?! Jesus don't be a fool.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you inattentional for your reply. Yeah good idea with the Skype. Yeah he doesn’t say sexual stuff all the time, sometimes but I’m don’t go along with it. I’m just wondering too, why wait so long to meet up? Like id be worried he has another family/partner too because he doesn’t meet up when I ask him too but he has helped me giving me advice. So I dunno I think he may be genuine?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by SMEGGGY)
You've never crammed?!?! Jesus don't be a fool.
Thanks smoggy for your reply. Do you mean Skyped?
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Anonymous #1
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Sorry smegggy I wrote that in a hurry. Thanks for your reply
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SteveyStack
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(Original post by inattentional)
I would ask to skype, and if you do meet him let someone know when/where kinda thing or even ask them to join!
Maybe tell him also that you don’t like the sexual comments etc
Also meet somewhere public!
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SMEGGGY
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks smoggy for your reply. Do you mean Skyped?
Yes. Skype, FaceTime, WhatsApp video. Surely in this day and age, anybody who doesn't cam is a fake. Your choice but he'll kill you
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inattentional
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you inattentional for your reply. Yeah good idea with the Skype. Yeah he doesn’t say sexual stuff all the time, sometimes but I’m don’t go along with it. I’m just wondering too, why wait so long to meet up? Like id be worried he has another family/partner too because he doesn’t meet up when I ask him too but he has helped me giving me advice. So I dunno I think he may be genuine?
I think if you avoid relationship-y stuff you’ll be fine. Ive made several close friends online and met up with them. As long as someone always knows where you are and who you’re with then it’s fine

As for the waiting so long, it is a tad weird but then things can get in the way easily. Again, it’s not much to worry about unless you’re dating and scared he is with someone else? Also if there’s a big age gap I would warn against it
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T-seriesTSR
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(Original post by SMEGGGY)
Yes. Skype, FaceTime, WhatsApp video. Surely in this day and age, anybody who doesn't cam is a fake. Your choice but he'll kill you
Don't scare her, mate. She'll be fine.
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks so much all of you’s for taking the time to reply. Yeah i know I should really do WhatsApp. I suppose maybe part of me thinks there is something odd going on. He’s like three years older but thanks for replying. I’ll keep the comments on board and yes safety first! Thanks all
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Amon-ster
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(Original post by inattentional)
I would ask to skype, and if you do meet him let someone know when/where kinda thing or even ask them to join!
Maybe tell him also that you don’t like the sexual comments etc
Meet in a public place near like a landmark
Don't go on your own
Tell him to go there but you scope out from the distance to see if he's who he says he is

If he isn't you walk the other way
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you so much Amon-ster
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doodle_333
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Skype first. Arrange to meet at a designated public place where there will be lots of people. Have him give a description and find somewhere you can see him arrive + check you're happy before you go over and say hello. Tell your sister where you're going and check in once an hour for this first meet up. Have a code word in case you feel uncomfortable and need help e.g calling to ask her to feed the hamster. Don't go anywhere that's not public.
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey all, if you could help please, thank you.. so me and this guy have been on/off texting for two years. He lives about 3 hours away. He’s been very nice when I was ill. We know what we look like but no face time/Skype.

I’ve asked him twice to meet up when I went to his city. He couldn’t. Anyhow he’s coming to mine. Part of me really wants to meet, we have a sort of plan to meet tomorrow but I’m scared that he could be a creep. My sister is dead against me meeting him. But I feel like I want to, but I’m getting scared. Is it normal not to want to meet someone when I’ve tried on two other occasions? He talks a bit about sexual stuff so I dunno that’s putting me off? I’m scared he won’t be who he says he has is but I also don’t want to miss this chance. What do you think? Thank you
Please do not meet him without video calling him at least 3 times on separate occasions! There is no excuse to not be able to video call in today's world.
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SMEGGGY
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Did she meet him I wonder. Bet it was a creepy fogey
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks all of you. That is a good idea DrawtheLine about chatting on three different times over WhatsApp

Well no it didn’t go to plan. He was meant to text me yesterday, just with plans to meet today and nothing! No text, even he was online on WhatsApp so yeah have to just move on,
It’s disappointing and very annoying at the same time! I’ll just have to forget about him.
Thanks all really appreciate your replies
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TheMadNerd93
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I was going to add my opinion in agreement with the other commentators until I have come across your latest response. I shall say, thank goodness your plan of meeting him has failed!

If anything, this has happened for a reason - maybe you are ignorant of this reason at this moment but be sure it is eventually for something better for you. I myself wasn't comfortable about the nature of the relationship between you both. I mean, according to what you have stated, I gather that you have never ever talked at least on a voice call? Seeing a picture of him is not really enough, you know, and you say you have been communicating for two years. I believe he's not taking it as seriously as you are. The fact that the plan of meeting up has failed twice before this can also be added as an evidence.

Once again, I would say that you guys meeting up was not destined to happen so as for you to be prevented from something harmful. You have also mentioned his carelessness about it, and that you want to get over him. It's good you realise this yourself, and I encourage you to do so. This person is not worth of any further effort of yours. Just consider it a lesson and an experience to be learnt from, and look forward to what is hopefully better and more positive.
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wxgmak
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It's a bit weird if you guys have spoken for so long and not facetimed or skyped each other. He might be a catfish. I think you should skype him a few times to see if he's real. If he is, meet up with him in a public area and maybe take a friend with you. Be careful
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SMEGGGY
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(Original post by wxgmak)
It's a bit weird if you guys have spoken for so long and not facetimed or skyped each other. He might be a catfish. I think you should skype him a few times to see if he's real. If he is, meet up with him in a public area and maybe take a friend with you. Be careful
She seems very naive catfish meaning would be lost on her. Best op stays away from online socialising
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