Muslim girl feeling betrayed and hurt Watch

Studentnewcastle
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#1
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#1
I feel so sad right now
For a while i thought i found the love of my life
After so many years of solitude
A guy who was perfect in many ways
A charming sensitive soul
Then suddenly he came to me started telling me he has some issues in his life
I told him he could tell me anything and that i will always be there for him
I thought something to do with his family or work
Then he told me that the problem is not related to his job or family but his girlfriend ..,,a girl he met and been talking to before he met me
So while he was flirting and being with me he was with her too
All the things he told me he told her too
And the worst thing is that I can’t even forget him or forget the fact that he told me he feels more connected to her than me
I was willing to overlook the fact he has no religion i was willing to overlook his drug use
But this really broke me
I thought I was his girlfriend
I didn’t think he already had a girlfriend !
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Amon-ster
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How does being muslim have anything to do with your situation? clickbait

but you got lead on
and I'd recommend you move on
heartbreak happens to nearly everyone you just got to deal with it and move on

In the case you're really hesitant to leave him
you could give him a second chance on the basis he cuts contact with the other girl and picks you out of the two
but if something similar occurs and he talks to another girl
you'll have to deal with the consequences
cause people are naturally resistant to change, but it doesn't mean it's impossilbe
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Studentnewcastle
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Thats the problem he was so perfect that i was willing to stay with him in the hope he will eventually leave her for me even though he might not
(Original post by Amon-ster)
How does being muslim have anything to do with your situation? clickbait

but you got lead on
and I'd recommend you move on
heartbreak happens to nearly everyone you just got to deal with it and move on

In the case you're really hesitant to leave him
you could give him a second chance on the basis he cuts contact with the other girl and picks you out of the two
but if something similar occurs and he talks to another girl
you'll have to deal with the consequences
cause people are naturally resistant to change, but it doesn't mean it's impossilbe
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Amon-ster
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(Original post by Studentnewcastle)
Thats the problem he was so perfect that i was willing to stay with him in the hope he will eventually leave her for me even though he might not
All you do is give him the choice right now
Me or her

If he chooses her you know where you stand and move on, you have not got no time to be no ones second place or back up option
If he chooses you give him the second chance but pay close attention for awhile he's not continuing to talk to her

Acknowledge your self worth, you shouldn't think of yourself as an option but a priority.
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sunny_01
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dump him on his birthday and date his best friend
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Studentnewcastle
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It’s very easy to say just leave him but doing it is very difficult
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Archetypally
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Thanks for specifying that you were Muslim, I don't think anyone could truly understand the situation without that.
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Studentnewcastle
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I thought so and that why I specified it
(Original post by Archetypally)
Thanks for specifying that you were Muslim, I don't think anyone could truly understand the situation without that.
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Sorani
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(Original post by sunny_01)
dump him on his birthday and date his best friend
This, but brother.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Studentnewcastle)
It’s very easy to say just leave him but doing it is very difficult
I know how you feel, ive been in a similar position but not as bad. I was there for him whilst he was trying to get over his ex, and then soon he just disappeared and I found out he was back with her. But yeah you just need to have sabr and remember that God's plan is the best of plans. Carry on with life and if hes meant for you he will find his way back, if not you will find someone a hundred times better than him. Remember, God takes away something to bless you with something even greater. If he is meant for you no one and nothing can take him away from you. In the meantime, you cant keep waiting on him, so focus on yourself, your education/career and never lose your faith. I really hope things become easier for you
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angelike1
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its not his fault - you should have made a move
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Studentnewcastle
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How can i when the only man i ever wanted doesnt want me except for sex?

(Original post by Anonymous)
I know how you feel, ive been in a similar position but not as bad. I was there for him whilst he was trying to get over his ex, and then soon he just disappeared and I found out he was back with her. But yeah you just need to have sabr and remember that God's plan is the best of plans. Carry on with life and if hes meant for you he will find his way back, if not you will find someone a hundred times better than him. Remember, God takes away something to bless you with something even greater. If he is meant for you no one and nothing can take him away from you. In the meantime, you cant keep waiting on him, so focus on yourself, your education/career and never lose your faith. I really hope things become easier for you
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Studentnewcastle
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He did say he liked me and was connected to me many times i assumed he knew i was too

(Original post by angelike1)
its not his fault - you should have made a move
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Studentnewcastle)
How can i when the only man i ever wanted doesnt want me except for sex?
then im sorry Im having to say this but hes really not the right person to leave you if he doesn't get what he wants from you, he should be more understanding. you've just got to be patient. there may be someone better than him meant for you and once it all falls into place trust me I promise you that's when you will realise why you had to go through all of this and wait. its all just a test of your patience and faith, keep your head high x
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TheMadNerd93
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(Original post by Studentnewcastle)
I feel so sad right now
For a while i thought i found the love of my life
After so many years of solitude
A guy who was perfect in many ways
A charming sensitive soul
Then suddenly he came to me started telling me he has some issues in his life
I told him he could tell me anything and that i will always be there for him
I thought something to do with his family or work
Then he told me that the problem is not related to his job or family but his girlfriend ..,,a girl he met and been talking to before he met me
So while he was flirting and being with me he was with her too
All the things he told me he told her too
And the worst thing is that I can’t even forget him or forget the fact that he told me he feels more connected to her than me
I was willing to overlook the fact he has no religion i was willing to overlook his drug use
But this really broke me
I thought I was his girlfriend
I didn’t think he already had a girlfriend !
Don't overreact to it and blame it all on you. Betrayals and disappointments happen, they are always expected. Consider this a lesson to be learnt and keep yourself oriented to the future. Set your focus on doing other activities (studying, work, hobbies, meeting friends,...) in which you can productively invest your energy and forget about such incident with all the negative thoughts carried alongside. At first it feels awful I totally understand you, but as time goes by you will realise you're getting stronger and it is becoming less painful and even insignificant.

Do also keep in mind that certain things happen for certain reasons, and that it is quite probable that you were not destined to be with that guy because it wasn't meant to bring you goodness or happiness. You hence should be grateful. This fact is actually really comfortable when being considered. Be sure that something better will find you and come to you sooner or later, just don't overthink that or keep yourself binge waiting for it. Work on the other aspects of your life which are as important as (even more important than) love. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
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TheMadNerd93
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(Original post by Studentnewcastle)
How can i when the only man i ever wanted doesnt want me except for sex?
Oh and I've just stumbled across this

Such person is not at all worth of you even thinking of him or mentioning him. There are plenty of guys out there who would be deeply interested in your mentality, intellect and personality in the first place, and hopefully this category would find the way towards you.
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JustStudy
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Assalamu alaykum, I'm Muslim too. I think the problem is that you thought that he was a decent person, but now that you found out that he isn't, you shouldn't hang on to him. I'm am in Year 11 so I don't know what advice I should give you, but I hope your situation improves. On a side note, Muslim men and women should keep discussions at a professional level. The fact that he came to talk to you about his problems is suspicious in the first place. He did this with the idea of leaving you in mind. In the future, don't talk to random guys. Also, I am not sure of your age range so I don't know if you are ready to get married or not but there are millions of Muslim men in the world (you should go for people who are dedicated to their religion). Set your standards high. In my case, I didn't know how to let go of my feelings until I found out about BTS. If you take a break and compare it that guy to Taehyung or Jimin, I'm sure that you will realise that he isn't on their level or even worth your time. (Taehyung and Jimin are BTS members, watch BTS videos and you'll see how kind, hardworking and considerate they are).
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londonmyst
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I'm so sorry that you have been hurt by this guy's lack of honesty and opportunistic ways.
This is all part of the crazy scene that is uk & usa city dating- honesty, good manners and basic common decency are often notable only by their total absence.
You meet plenty of reasonable, sane guys.
Plenty of liars, creepy weirdos and f*** boys too.
But don't give up on love- one day you will meet someone attractive who ticks most of your boxes and wants to be in an exclusive relationship with you.

Have you heard of Justin Schweiger?
He is the american guy who arranged to date six women in a single night- in the same bar.
Date no 1 figured out what game he was playing, started live tweeting and made him the most famous guy in washington for a week.

If you like I can tell you all my own dating horror stories, along with some of my friends and co-workers.
One date brought his mother along, forgot his wallet and then asked me to lend him some cash- after I'd already paid for the food, drink and tips.
The last ex was so appallingly behaved that I've been single for the last five years, he is a nightmare and still describing me as his "girlfriend".
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asif007
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#19
(Original post by Studentnewcastle)
I feel so sad right now
For a while i thought i found the love of my life
After so many years of solitude
A guy who was perfect in many ways
A charming sensitive soul
Then suddenly he came to me started telling me he has some issues in his life
I told him he could tell me anything and that i will always be there for him
I thought something to do with his family or work
Then he told me that the problem is not related to his job or family but his girlfriend ..,,a girl he met and been talking to before he met me
So while he was flirting and being with me he was with her too
All the things he told me he told her too
And the worst thing is that I can’t even forget him or forget the fact that he told me he feels more connected to her than me
I was willing to overlook the fact he has no religion i was willing to overlook his drug use
But this really broke me
I thought I was his girlfriend
I didn’t think he already had a girlfriend !
It sounds like you were just a friend to him and you misinterpreted flirting for what was probably just friendly banter and not flirting at all. Also you don’t date, so it’s obvious that he would look elsewhere and invest more time and effort into someone who he can formally date and have a relationship with. You clearly did not know him as well as you thought you did, and he was not the love of your life if you didn’t even know he had a proper girlfriend. You were never his “girlfriend” in the first place, and I think you need to be honest with yourself about that.

We know your religion is important to you, a Muslim young woman. But you must be really desperate for some affection when you love a guy who does drugs. That’s scraping the bottom of the barrel.
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black tea
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(Original post by Studentnewcastle)
Thats the problem he was so perfect that i was willing to stay with him in the hope he will eventually leave her for me even though he might not
A guy who does drugs and dates 2 girls simultaneously is "perfect"?! Seriously?!
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