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Being the "favourite child"- the negative impact it can have on the childs life

After searching this on Google, I found nothing at all. The only thing I could find was people talking about not being the 'favourite child' and the negative impact that had on them.

This is the reverse for me, I am the favourite child and I hate it! It should not be this way, why am I the favourite? It feels icky.

It's almost as if that because of my ****ty dad, my mother has substituted him for me. It's almost as if my mother no longer sees me as her son, and sees me rather as a completely different person altogether- someone she can be friends with and someone who fills in the role of husband.

This is actually ruining my life, as well as the relationship I have with my mother. I can do no wrong in her eyes, but all I want her to be is the mum I knew grewing up.

These feelings ruminate into feelings of anger and resentment towards my mother, usually followed by guilt. It is like a cycle.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this?

I feel like I've got to get away. If there are any Psychologists out there. Please comment.

Thanks, and feel free to share your experiences.