relationship/ bf advice Watch

Elle666
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#1
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I have some questions regarding things that guys/ bfs do. This is about the boy i met on my previous post , weve known each other for about 8 nd a half months now. and hes been very affectionate caring and attentive during all these months. for a bit of previous context , i left for holidays for a month in july and he had a shorter break at end of month so we hadnt seen each other during that time.
I recently stayed the night at his place like i often do , but he shares his flat with someone else ( not really a big deal). he left briefly to do some shopping and i got curious and checked his night cupboard, found two boxes of condoms ( one empty & one full but opened) + a full unused bottle of lube. I dont recall having seen those the first time i met him in winter, hadnt really looked through his stuff.
what could this mean ? I know he wants to get more intimate as he asked me this morning why I seemed a bit distant regarding being intimate and i said i wanted to take it slow.. not sure now what this could mean. He didnt seem bothered about this but I have a feeling he wants to rush it a bit for some reason? other than that he has never been pushy or made me feel uncomfortable.
might be bit paranoid but would love peoples/ guys opinions on this!
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Jang Gwangnam
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(Original post by Elle666)
I have some questions regarding things that guys/ bfs do. This is about the boy i met on my previous post , weve known each other for about 8 nd a half months now. and hes been very affectionate caring and attentive during all these months. for a bit of previous context , i left for holidays for a month in july and he had a shorter break at end of month so we hadnt seen each other during that time.
I recently stayed the night at his place like i often do , but he shares his flat with someone else ( not really a big deal). he left briefly to do some shopping and i got curious and checked his night cupboard, found two boxes of condoms ( one empty & one full but opened) + a full unused bottle of lube. I dont recall having seen those the first time i met him in winter, hadnt really looked through his stuff.
what could this mean ? I know he wants to get more intimate as he asked me this morning why I seemed a bit distant regarding being intimate and i said i wanted to take it slow.. not sure now what this could mean. He didnt seem bothered about this but I have a feeling he wants to rush it a bit for some reason? other than that he has never been pushy or made me feel uncomfortable.
might be bit paranoid but would love peoples/ guys opinions on this!
Lol he's obviously feeling particularly hot (if you get what I mean ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ) since the break.

It's normal for a lad to have some lube lying around and he could've been trying out the condoms for future reference with you. I'd say you treat him slightly here and there but not too much, like kissing or smooching or something slightly intimate.
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Anonymous #1
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If he has lube and condoms and the 2 of you haven't slept together yet, Then he is having sex with another girl.
He might say that they are the other flat mates,but why would he be keeping them in his room.

If he says he isn't sleeping with someone else,then he is either masturbating quite alot to use a full box of condoms and lube.

My advice is leave him as it sounds like he is cheating on you.
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Elle666
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If he has lube and condoms and the 2 of you haven't slept together yet, Then he is having sex with another girl.
He might say that they are the other flat mates,but why would he be keeping them in his room.

If he says he isn't sleeping with someone else,then he is either masturbating quite alot to use a full box of condoms and lube.

My advice is leave him as it sounds like he is cheating on you.
well his two other flatmates were a couple. and the new one is a guy.. So i doubt he is cheating with another girl. Just thought it was odd one box was empty and he kept it in cupboard.

Not sure i should mention it to him, maybe i should give him a hint about it. As i said weve seen each other fr some time now and maybe he wants to move to next step and used a whole box for “ training” like the other guy here suggested..
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Elle666
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(Original post by Jang Gwangnam)
Lol he's obviously feeling particularly hot (if you get what I mean ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ) since the break.

It's normal for a lad to have some lube lying around and he could've been trying out the condoms for future reference with you. I'd say you treat him slightly here and there but not too much, like kissing or smooching or something slightly intimate.
I hope youre right about the “ trying out for future ref”.. could be that as I really dont see him as a guy who would cheat.
just seemed odd to me that he kept the empty box. And the fact that he wants to rush it , is that a sign of commitment or not , bit confusing ! 😅🙄
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Jang Gwangnam
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(Original post by Elle666)
I hope youre right about the “ trying out for future ref”.. could be that as I really dont see him as a guy who would cheat.
just seemed odd to me that he kept the empty box. And the fact that he wants to rush it , is that a sign of commitment or not , bit confusing ! 😅🙄
Imo he's just feeling horny, and that's an emotion. Commitment is more about judging his personality though.
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Anonymous #2
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I fully sgree with cgeating and woul not guve him benefit on the doibt. If it concerns you you have a right to ask and then you can. Tell from his body language. Real love will be able to reply sensitively caring,t and openly. If he's body language is off regardless what he's says, fuk him off. ( not literally at this point )
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Jang Gwangnam)
Lol he's obviously feeling particularly hot (if you get what I mean ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ) since the break.

It's normal for a lad to have some lube lying around and he could've been trying out the condoms for future reference with you. I'd say you treat him slightly here and there but not too much, like kissing or smooching or something slightly intimate.
Bit suspicious of your reply.
if as you say he was practicing,he has to practice with another girls,Thats still cheating, You cant just walk up to another girl and say " By any chance would you like to have sex, im practising so i am good with my girlfriend.

He is cheating with someone, like it or not
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doodle_333
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Did you think he was cheating before? May be he or his flatmate have emptied the box at some point (doesn't have to be in the last 8 months) and he has bought another box without realising that one is empty... because you're sleeping over so at some point he expects to use them. At the end of the day you trust him or you don't
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Elle666
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(Original post by doodle_333)Did you think he was cheating before? May be he or his flatmate have emptied the box at some point (doesn't have to be in the last 8 months) and he has bought another box without realising that one is empty... because you're sleeping over so at some point he expects to use them. At the end of the day you trust him or you don't


no never, he always seemed very genuine since the start. I doubt smt happened during that one month break, and yes maybe his previous flatmate emptied it.. Just dont know what to think about him asking me why i didnt want or didnt seem very interested in being more intimate.
I dont want to rush it nor do I want him to think I dont like him or dont want to commit which i do, just not like that yet. 🙄😒
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Jang Gwangnam
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Bit suspicious of your reply.
if as you say he was practicing,he has to practice with another girls,Thats still cheating, You cant just walk up to another girl and say " By any chance would you like to have sex, im practising so i am good with my girlfriend.

He is cheating with someone, like it or not
It'd better not to jump to conclusions, especially when we don't even know the lads personality properly (which OP seems to claim is genuine). Hence why I said what I said.
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mgi
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(Original post by Elle666)
well his two other flatmates were a couple. and the new one is a guy.. So i doubt he is cheating with another girl. Just thought it was odd one box was empty and he kept it in cupboard.

Not sure i should mention it to him, maybe i should give him a hint about it. As i said weve seen each other fr some time now and maybe he wants to move to next step and used a whole box for “ training” like the other guy here suggested..
No dont hint about the condoms as he didn't show you them. But if you are staying overnight at his place then where are you sleeping? You should not be surprised if he is wanting to have sex with you at some point. So you must be clear with him that you are not ready for sex. But don't give out wrong signals such as staying overnight with him or doing heavy petting etc.
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Elle666
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(Original post by mgi)
No dont hint about the condoms as he didn't show you them. But if you are staying overnight at his place then where are you sleeping? You should not be surprised if he is wanting to have sex with you at some point. So you must be clear with him that you are not ready for sex. But don't give out wrong signals such as staying overnight with him or doing heavy petting etc.
i stay in his bed , so u think staying overnight is leading him on to think i want the same as he does ? I already told him i wasnt really ready and not sure how he took it but apparently he was kinda cool about it. just want to be sure what his intentions are in long term..
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mgi
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(Original post by Elle666)
i stay in his bed , so u think staying overnight is leading him on to think i want the same as he does ? I already told him i wasnt really ready and not sure how he took it but apparently he was kinda cool about it. just want to be sure what his intentions are in long term..
Yes it can appear that you are leading him on even if you are not. If you want a longterm relationship with him then you should make him wait before he sees your bits. Its best to not sleep with guys until you have seen their intention to have longterm relationship with you. if you are in his bed then he will want sex with you but how do you know that he is really committed.
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Elle666
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(Original post by mgi)
Yes it can appear that you are leading him on even if you are not. If you want a longterm relationship with him then you should make him wait before he sees your bits. Its best to not sleep with guys until you have seen their intention to have longterm relationship with you. if you are in his bed then he will want sex with you but how do you know that he is really committed.
well i tried asking him. i asked him nd he said “ you’re attractive & ure in my bed” which i think was a nervous response from him ( he obv doesnt really act the same in bed as outdoors with people around). I thought his answer was quite generalised, i wanted him to explain more in detail but he left it at that. I just dont want misunderstandings , and want to communicate properly with this guy, he really made my world much better since i met him, i wasnt in a right state of mind and then he came into my life like god knew i needed him ( not religious 😅).
so yeah i just want a clear sign hes committing ( ideally vocal )
hes very affectionate and attentive in person so thought that was quite real & down to earth reaction..
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mgi
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(Original post by Elle666)
well i tried asking him. i asked him nd he said “ you’re attractive & ure in my bed” which i think was a nervous response from him ( he obv doesnt really act the same in bed as outdoors with people around). I thought his answer was quite generalised, i wanted him to explain more in detail but he left it at that. I just dont want misunderstandings , and want to communicate properly with this guy, he really made my world much better since i met him, i wasnt in a right state of mind and then he came into my life like god knew i needed him ( not religious 😅).
so yeah i just want a clear sign hes committing ( ideally vocal )
hes very affectionate and attentive in person so thought that was quite real & down to earth reaction..
Yes. I hear you. Dont you think you need to do more talking with him about things you are not clear on before you stay in his bed? Are you clear that you want a longterm relationship with him? if you are then it is too early to be in his bed. He will naturally want sex with you soon if he actually really fancies you. What will you do then? He didn't force you into his bed. You should take a step back, talk to him about everything- your needs, his needs. He sounds like a nice enough guy to tallk honestly with. Suggest to him that you both should start dating properly. Girls get hurt when they do things backward! Date for months, talk , get to know each others hopes for the future. If he is still nice then you can f...k him if you wish. If you change the order guys then take ages to commit to you or they never do!
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