I keep on meeting closet gays Watch

rossjames452
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For the past six years I have been on dating apps and just haven't got anywhere, evidently I can see where I went wrong when I first started using them as I was younger and didn't know how to make a good profile which would attract people to me.

Since having a decent profile for the past few years I've had people meet me but it doesn't go anywhere beyond that. I really feel like I do nothing wrong and that it's them. Why is it them? In all honesty I think that they're in the closet and because of that they don't want to meet someone more than one time, they want to do only one off meets and to me that makes complete sense if they are in the closet.

I went on a date the other week, it went really well he messaged me when he got home to say he got home safe etc, we both said we enjoyed it but nothing from there on. He's read my messages, I left it a couple of days when he didn't reply and sent another one and he's read it but no response so he's another one time meet up person.

I am really wondering how I get away from this? I am really beginning to get put off from dating apps and just stop trying because it's always the same thing, we'll have a good time they will lie about wanting to meet me again and will go on to ignore my messages and go back to dating sites for their next one time meet up.

The only people I can see actually meeting me again are those that are evidently out of the closet, but they act really feminine and just aren't my type. All in all I feel like I am going to be single for forever and I am unsure on what to do? When I talk to friends about it they always give the advice of your time will come, but they really don't understand they are all either happily in relationships or have had relationships recently, my time obviously isn't coming it's been six years now, soon to be ten and then maybe never in my opinion.

I am also told to be positive, yes I've tried being positive for these six years but I am no longer feeling positive, just damn angry. Any ideas?
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umbrellala
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(Original post by rossjames452)
For the past six years I have been on dating apps and just haven't got anywhere, evidently I can see where I went wrong when I first started using them as I was younger and didn't know how to make a good profile which would attract people to me.

Since having a decent profile for the past few years I've had people meet me but it doesn't go anywhere beyond that. I really feel like I do nothing wrong and that it's them. Why is it them? In all honesty I think that they're in the closet and because of that they don't want to meet someone more than one time, they want to do only one off meets and to me that makes complete sense if they are in the closet.

I went on a date the other week, it went really well he messaged me when he got home to say he got home safe etc, we both said we enjoyed it but nothing from there on. He's read my messages, I left it a couple of days when he didn't reply and sent another one and he's read it but no response so he's another one time meet up person.

I am really wondering how I get away from this? I am really beginning to get put off from dating apps and just stop trying because it's always the same thing, we'll have a good time they will lie about wanting to meet me again and will go on to ignore my messages and go back to dating sites for their next one time meet up.

The only people I can see actually meeting me again are those that are evidently out of the closet, but they act really feminine and just aren't my type. All in all I feel like I am going to be single for forever and I am unsure on what to do? When I talk to friends about it they always give the advice of your time will come, but they really don't understand they are all either happily in relationships or have had relationships recently, my time obviously isn't coming it's been six years now, soon to be ten and then maybe never in my opinion.

I am also told to be positive, yes I've tried being positive for these six years but I am no longer feeling positive, just damn angry. Any ideas?
I don't understand how you've drawn the conclusion that just because they want to meet up once it must mean they're closeted - if they were comfortable (in principle) meeting up with someone once then why would meeting a second time make any difference? Providing both dates are in public spaces of course. Surely someone closeted would be more likely to not want to meet up at all...

Anyway, that's beside the point. It might have something to do with the culture of dating apps, they're notoriously focused on one night stands and short-term relationships and whilst I'm sure there are plenty of people that aren't looking for that, they could be more difficult to find. Perhaps dating apps just don't work for you? Masculine gay people aren't some kind of elusive unicorn which only exist on apps, there are plenty out and about so instead of repeatedly trying the same thing which obviously isn't working, why not try meeting people face to face?
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