Boy friend and his jealous girlfriend Watch

Anonymous #1
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There’s this guy that I’ve been really good friends with for just over a year, however his jealous and insecure girlfriend is really starting to get in the way.

Our friendship isn’t what is used to be and it always feels like I’m treading on egg shells around him - ever since she came along there’s been countless arguments and drama between us three because she just can’t accept this friendship. Now the weird thing is I’ve tried to cut them both out of my life just because I really don’t have time for childish drama but one of them (yes even the girlfriend???) will almost always contact me for some reason.

The girlfriend will often start something from
nothing then act like the victim claiming it hurts her to be constantly stuck in the middle of an argument with her boyfriend because of me (baring in mind I’ve done nothing).

She’ll accuse me of liking him or him liking me crying about “I can tell there’s something there” when there clearing isn’t, I am in a relationship of my own and my boyfriend has not once said he felt this way and is completely okay with it. I don’t know what this girls problem is and I’m not sure what to do? I do like my friendship with this guy but at the same time if this is what I’m gonna have to put up with all the time then I don’t want to be friends, although no matter how hard I try to cut them both off they seem to drag me back into this toxicity. I’m stuck at what to do here ?
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RazzzBerries
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Why cut them both off? Your friendship is valid and allowed.

The problem is with the girlfriend, not you. You've made it clear you're strictly just friends with him and neither of you have feelings for each other. Keep being friends with the guy and let him sort out his girlfriend. Honestly, he shouldn't be in a relationship with someone that can't take no for an answer but that's just my opinion. :dontknow:
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Amon-ster
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The girl got issues
Some people are just like that I guess

Just ignore her
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sinfonietta
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I'm going to assume you've already tried talking to them both about dragging you into her insecurity / their relationship issues?

If you really want to cut them out then block them. Give him a heads up and let him know why first. If you're lucky he might have a word with his girlfriend about boundaries. If not then at least that negativity will be out of your life.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by RazzzBerries)
Why cut them both off? Your friendship is valid and allowed.

The problem is with the girlfriend, not you. You've made it clear you're strictly just friends with him and neither of you have feelings for each other. Keep being friends with the guy and let him sort out his girlfriend. Honestly, he shouldn't be in a relationship with someone that can't take no for an answer but that's just my opinion. :dontknow:
Well I just thought it’d be easier on their relationship and my mental sanity to cut them both off. The girlfriend claims to have mental issues and uses this as an excuse for her actions, she’s even attempted suicide over the issue which has obviously frightened me into just leaving them both alone until they get professional help.
(Original post by Amon-ster)
The girl got issues
Some people are just like that I guess

Just ignore her
I’ve tried ignoring her but she uses this as “proof” that I’m jealous of her and hate her because apparently I want her man
Spoiler:
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i don’t
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Amon-ster
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I just thought it’d be easier on their relationship and my mental sanity to cut them both off. The girlfriend claims to have mental issues and uses this as an excuse for her actions, she’s even attempted suicide over the issue which has obviously frightened me into just leaving them both alone until they get professional help.

I’ve tried ignoring her but she uses this as “proof” that I’m jealous of her and hate her because apparently I want her man
Spoiler:
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i don’t
She sounds hella insecure

Yeah I'd just say cut them both off
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RazzzBerries
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I just thought it’d be easier on their relationship and my mental sanity to cut them both off. The girlfriend claims to have mental issues and uses this as an excuse for her actions, she’s even attempted suicide over the issue which has obviously frightened me into just leaving them both alone until they get professional help.

I’ve tried ignoring her but she uses this as “proof” that I’m jealous of her and hate her because apparently I want her man
Spoiler:
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i don’t
None of it would ever be your fault though. How can she blame her mental health issues on someone else? That's not fair and makes no logical sense.
Speak to the guy and tell him how you're feeling. If he cares enough about you, he'll at least try to do something about it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by sinfonietta)
I'm going to assume you've already tried talking to them both about dragging you into her insecurity / their relationship issues?

If you really want to cut them out then block them. Give him a heads up and let him know why first. If you're lucky he might have a word with his girlfriend about boundaries. If not then at least that negativity will be out of your life.
Oh I have numerous times. He hits me with the “you don’t care about me or our friendship thanks for being a great “friend” and giving up like this...as for her I have a feeling she lowkey enjoys the drama and dragging me into this. Always claiming she wants an “adult conversation” with me about an issue that doesn’t even exist which just turns into passive aggressive slander. I’m just tired if anything tbh
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by RazzzBerries)
None of it would ever be your fault though. How can she blame her mental health issues on someone else? That's not fair and makes no logical sense.
Speak to the guy and tell him how you're feeling. If he cares enough about you, he'll at least try to do something about it.
I don’t really know what to say, I feel somewhat cornered by his girlfriend to be honest. I have spoken to him before and he’s gone straight to his girlfriend and she’s made a massive deal of it as usual with the whole “youre just jealous of me”
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RazzzBerries
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t really know what to say, I feel somewhat cornered by his girlfriend to be honest. I have spoken to him before and he’s gone straight to his girlfriend and she’s made a massive deal of it as usual with the whole “youre just jealous of me”
Then yeah, cut them both off. The friend won't validate your feelings and you're getting a ton of unnecessary hate from a girl you barely know.
Don't even let them come back to you like you said they normally do. Block all contact and find better friends. :yes:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Amon-ster)
She sounds hella insecure

Yeah I'd just say cut them both off
She’s very insecure which shouldn’t be my headache to deal with. I just don’t know how to cut them off? The guys already been somewhat cut off from me as no longer has permission to see me in person unless the girlfriends around (lol). I tried to block them both on every social media site which resulted in the guy being supposedly depressed and lonely, the girlfriend claiming to have attempted suicide (not to sound harsh but sounded like bull**** to me, she’s just manipulative), and them creating a fake account by someone else’s name in an attempt to contact me. She is not sane and judging by her mental state shouldn’t even be in a relationship
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Amon-ster
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She’s very insecure which shouldn’t be my headache to deal with. I just don’t know how to cut them off? The guys already been somewhat cut off from me as no longer has permission to see me in person unless the girlfriends around (lol). I tried to block them both on every social media site which resulted in the guy being supposedly depressed and lonely, the girlfriend claiming to have attempted suicide (not to sound harsh but sounded like bull**** to me, she’s just manipulative), and them creating a fake account by someone else’s name in an attempt to contact me. She is not sane and judging by her mental state shouldn’t even be in a relationship
Sounds like a drama couple from hell
but whatever that's their problem they're causing unnecessary drama in your life so tbh let them be cry babies if you leave.

Tell them you don't want to talk to them unless they cut this bull**** and next time she starts drama with you, you're cutting the friendship for good cause you can't be asked to deal with her bullshet antics.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by RazzzBerries)
Then yeah, cut them both off. The friend won't validate your feelings and you're getting a ton of unnecessary hate from a girl you barely know.
Don't even let them come back to you like you said they normally do. Block all contact and find better friends. :yes:
It’s a shame because I will miss him and he doesn’t have a lot of friends, he’s even said that he wishes he had a friend other than his controlling girlfriend. But I’m definitely gonna cut contact and not look back, not matter how they guilt trip me.
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Dunya
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Make out with your man in front of her If that doesn't get the message across then tell her to get over herself. Carry on treating you guy friend as a friend.
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bones-mccoy
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I would honestly cut them out for good. Perhaps tell him why beforehand as he is your friend first and foremost but you need out. It's only going to be a matter of time until he realises what a manipulative ***** his girlfriend is but by then it'll be too late, they'll split up and he'll come crying back to you. She'll have this attitude towards every other female he communicates with. But that's not good enough. Rather than be sucked into her passive aggressive and childish behaviour, he needs to stand up for both you and your friendship. I'm sorry but allowing a partner to constantly play the victim, blame her mental health issues on you and have you treading on eggshells constantly just in case you "upset" her is not okay. That is not how you treat a friend. He does not have any respect for you anymore and that's a shame as he's essentially ruined what was a good friendship.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 5 months ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
I would honestly cut them out for good. Perhaps tell him why beforehand as he is your friend first and foremost but you need out. It's only going to be a matter of time until he realises what a manipulative ***** his girlfriend is but by then it'll be too late, they'll split up and he'll come crying back to you. She'll have this attitude towards every other female he communicates with. But that's not good enough. Rather than be sucked into her passive aggressive and childish behaviour, he needs to stand up for both you and your friendship. I'm sorry but allowing a partner to constantly play the victim, blame her mental health issues on you and have you treading on eggshells constantly just in case you "upset" her is not okay. That is not how you treat a friend. He does not have any respect for you anymore and that's a shame as he's essentially ruined what was a good friendship.
It’s definitely a shame, over a year of friendship thrown away. I just don’t know how to go about cutting them off, should I just block them and ignore any form of contact or explain to him why, either way his girlfriend is going to take this as an opportunity to create a fuss.

(Original post by Dunya)
Make out with your man in front of her If that doesn't get the message across then tell her to get over herself. Carry on treating you guy friend as a friend.
Lol I’d love to but I bet that’d make me a jealous ***** in her eyes somehow 😍. She even created a group chat with me once and started sexting him, and added me back even when I left until I blocked them both, THEN claimed I blocked them because I was jealous. this is what I’m dealing with here
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s definitely a shame, over a year of friendship thrown away. I just don’t know how to go about cutting them off, should I just block them and ignore any form of contact or explain to him why, either way his girlfriend is going to take this as an opportunity to create a fuss.
Be as honest as you can without being derogatory to the girlfriend, otherwise he'll just see it as an attack. I would take the opportunity to give him a chance to fix things by letting him know how serious the situation has become and that you can't deal with her anymore. Tell him how both of their actions have made you feel and the stress it's causing. Then it's up to him whether he acts like an adult and gets the three of you to sit down together and talk things through, or at least speak to his girlfriend and let her know how damaging her behaviour is. If he chooses the alternative route and lets the situation continue then that's it. It's upsetting but at least you know where you stand. But as I said before, don't be surprised if their relationship goes tits up and he comes running back to you.
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Rock Fan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s a shame because I will miss him and he doesn’t have a lot of friends, he’s even said that he wishes he had a friend other than his controlling girlfriend. But I’m definitely gonna cut contact and not look back, not matter how they guilt trip me.
I'm sorry you are in this position, last thing you need is drama so if you have to cut them both off then do. It's no ideal as you are perfectly allowed to be friends with him, I am in a similar situation I was friends with this girl but she stopped talking to me because her boyfriend is insecure and hates her talking to other guys yet my other half is perfectly fine with me being friends with her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Be as honest as you can without being derogatory to the girlfriend, otherwise he'll just see it as an attack. I would take the opportunity to give him a chance to fix things by letting him know how serious the situation has become and that you can't deal with her anymore. Tell him how both of their actions have made you feel and the stress it's causing. Then it's up to him whether he acts like an adult and gets the three of you to sit down together and talk things through, or at least speak to his girlfriend and let her know how damaging her behaviour is. If he chooses the alternative route and lets the situation continue then that's it. It's upsetting but at least you know where you stand. But as I said before, don't be surprised if their relationship goes tits up and he comes running back to you.
Thank you for the advice, I think I will do exactly as it seems the most civilised no matter what my feelings towards them both might be right now. I don’t see it working out between us three I already know the girlfriends going to blow up over this, she’s very immature. I also know he’ll side with her then try and speak to me separately begging me to reconsider (this has happened before). The main issue is I think he’s scared of his girlfriend and can’t stand up her...I’ve never had this issue with other friends ever so I just didn’t know how to handle it. Time to pull the plug I guess
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
I'm sorry you are in this position, last thing you need is drama so if you have to cut them both off then do. It's no ideal as you are perfectly allowed to be friends with him, I am in a similar situation I was friends with this girl but she stopped talking to me because her boyfriend is insecure and hates her talking to other guys yet my other half is perfectly fine with me being friends with her.
It is a shame how other people let their own insecurities affect others. I just find it ironic how she has male and female friends yet he isn’t even allowed to breathe near another female.
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