Some unbiased advice needed - boyfriends friend moving in with us Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
#1
Hey!

So, my boyfriend & I have been together a fair few years now and moved out together 4 years ago. His friend is moving into town to do his Masters soon and my boyfriend has told him that he can live with us until our tenancy runs out next June/July. I'm really not happy as we live in a small two-bed in Reading and also have 2 dogs and there isn't any room at all for him to be here, plus the idea of it makes me incredibly uncomfortable as I don't know him all that well even though he's been friends with my boyfriend since we first got together, I would never hang out with him all that much, but we do get along and it isn't like I hate this guy. I just don't want to have to get to know someone when they're already living in my house as opposed to getting to know them first and then living with them, that just seems like the best way to do it for me personally. I don't want to make out like my boyfriend went behind my back and asked his guy as that really wasn't the case but I don't remember saying 'yes' I always remember saying 'let's talk about it'. I'm also a student, 24 years old and I work freelance so when I'm not at uni, I'm working from home and this guy is also going to be home a fair bit as well as he's doing a Masters and already has savings so he can just focus on education instead. I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own home, I don't want to feel like I can't just be myself because someone completely new is going to be there with us and it just makes it that little bit worse than I'm living with my boyfriend as I feel it would be a better situation if it were just a group of friends living together instead. I have spoken to my boyfriend countless times about this and he just keeps telling me that 'he can't do anything about it this late in' and 'I don't know what I can do, he's meant to be moving in soon' and I'm just sick of it.

Am I overreacting? I need some unbiased opinions as my friends are all on my side but I feel like that is to be expected.

Thanks
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DazzaHatty
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#2
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Hi, I’m on your side. All parties have to feel comfortable, if one of them doesn’t then it has to be taken into account. You’re not comfortable with it and it needs to discussed properly. Nothing is ever too late to me that’s a lame excuse from your boyfriend. He’s not taking your feelings seriously enough and you need to confront him about.
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doodle_333
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He shouldn't have offered without making sure it was ok. You should have been clear though rather than putting off the conversation. If he's about to move in you can't do anything now. You're right to be upset but it's really too late... I suggest you try and put together some house rules.
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OR321
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The friend is bit stupid tbh to be even accepting the offer, perhaps you need to talk to him separately and just make it clear there is no space but you’ll help him find a place etc
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AzureCeleste
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Agree with you
Would have been understandable if it was temporary (like a couple of weeks until he found somewhere) but for this long period of time, no way. Would discuss it with your boyfriend
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Sorani
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You're not. Your boyfriend should've got a clear yes/no and seems to be pretty dismissive about how you feel. Also, to be honest, your boyfriend is either pretty dim to assume that someone would just be okay with a new person moving into their place for a year, or he doesn't really care that much about your opinion vs his friend. You need to be madder than you're being.
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NinjaBurger1337
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Yeah same opinion as everyone else so far. Your boyfriend is being inconsiderate about it and you should do something about this, you have the moral high ground.
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Bio 7
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Nobody should be making a decision without everyone’s approval to let someone stay for that length of time. A few weeks fine, but more than a month and it would get annoying.
Sounds like you’ll need to discuss finding the friend a new place.
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