Looking Forward with Hope

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hope2002
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#61
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#61
(Original post by entertainmyfaith)
your best friend doesn't sound very nice:console:
well done on chemistry, that's still a great score!!
i've never pulled an all nighter so not sure really
Idk, cuz it was kinda more my feeling than anything else so I feel like that account was a bit bias, but thank you for the support I haven't pulled an all-nighter either, the worst was one week in march this year I got a total of 7 hours sleep in 5 days, or something like that cuz I had 2 tests everyday so easy to say I really hit bottom there. I literally don't remember anything from that week apart from feeling like I was going to die from lack of sleep
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hope2002
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Wednesday 16th October 2019: 2 WEEKS TIL BMAT!!

I'm quite worried cuz it's exactly 2 weeks til BMAT now and I'm not doing enough revision, like I cannot **** this up. it's for my DREAM uni. Idk what I'm going to do. I'm so unorganised atm.

Yesterday: I didn't update cuz I finished making my bio quizlet for my test at 2 am so I went to bed. I had another interview with my teacher by myself tho cuz the other girl forgot to come, and I think my answers were better. I'm slowly improving:banana:Wrote phototropism notes in my free. In PSHE we were allowed to do whatever so I wrote a BMAT essay. Lunch I had Med Soc and we did some BMAT Q's and then I gave the essay I wrote in PSHE to the teacher in charge of Med Soc. Maths was fine i guess.

8:40-9:10 gibberellin notes
9:30-10:05 made bio flashcards on exam questions we've done while studying this topic
10:15-10:20 went through bio checklist
10:20-1:35 made quizlet cards on the bio content (probs spent around 30 mins of this getting distracted)

Today: Got my BMAT essay back and the teacher said it was good:yeah: i had my 2 period bio test first thing and we were given about 30 mins to revise before doing the test. It was ok, but there were alot of detailed questions on chloroplast pigments which we kinda just passed over in the lesson and I didn't see when I read the text book so idk if it went well. Like I had the understanding but I feel like it might not get the mark scheme points. Break I went to the library and did 2 maths Q's cuz I didn't have the time to revise last night. P3 I did friction in my maths lesson. P4 I had my maths test and i think it went well apart from the question on sampling and a question on determining the modulus equation from the range given.

My sports option was basket ball and there r 3 girls out of 20 boys and we r ****e so we were each given a mentor to help us get better at shooting. I had a guy that I hated in y11 for literally no reason apart from I sat next to him in every lesson and he's acc so chill and I improved so much Like to the point where we were playing the thing where if you win a match u move up a court and if you lose you move down a court and we won the entire thing:danceboy: (There's a point to this) Basically I was picked for his team and someone fouled me so I had to take a free throw and all 5 guys, taller than me, surrounded me and were like you cannot **** this up and then the entire class was watching me so I was bricking it. News Alert: It didn't go in but a guy in my team got the rebound and scored. Irrelevant but I was so intimidated. Literally all but 1 were y11's as well. I have never been so intimidated by youngers.

Watched 2/3 episodes of the good doctor today instead of doing BMAT. i cried during the quarantine episodes:bawling: I rarely cry in shows or movies andI literally don't even know why I was crying.

10:50-11:00 read chem poster I did last term (I was supposed to make a blurb for a presentation at skl tmrw but cba and I have a whole lesson dedicated to that tmrw)
11:25-11:40 Read part of the highway code cuz I have my first driving lesson tmrw (even though My bday was in april)
11:50-12:10 Make physics equations quizlet from BMAT

I have lot going on tomorrow, but not really academically, at least not in the traditional sense. I'll explain more tmrw cuz it's easier and will make more sense.

QOTD: What movie/show always make you cry?

Tags: Let me know if you would like to be added or removed x
Last edited by hope2002; 5 months ago
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entertainmyfaith
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#63
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#63
glad to hear the tests went okay:rave:
call me by your name or big hero 6 make me cry:yep:
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laurawatt
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:woo:
Well done for basketball and BMAT
Probably the fault in our stars or any soppy animal film :laugh:
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QueenAelin
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#65
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Wow, it sounds like you've had a busy day! :laugh: Good luck on your first driving lesson tomorrow!
I cry every time I watch Pride of Prejudice! I love that film so much!
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jemima0103
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#66
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#66
(Original post by hope2002)
Wednesday 16th October 2019: 2 WEEKS TIL BMAT!!

I'm quite worried cuz it's exactly 2 weeks til BMAT now and I'm not doing enough revision, like I cannot **** this up. it's for my DREAM uni. Idk what I'm going to do. I'm so unorganised atm.

Yesterday: I didn't update cuz I finished making my bio quizlet for my test at 2 am so I went to bed. I had another interview with my teacher by myself tho cuz the other girl forgot to come, and I think my answers were better. I'm slowly improving:banana:Wrote phototropism notes in my free. In PSHE we were allowed to do whatever so I wrote a BMAT essay. Lunch I had Med Soc and we did some BMAT Q's and then I gave the essay I wrote in PSHE to the teacher in charge of Med Soc. Maths was fine i guess.

8:40-9:10 gibberellin notes
9:30-10:05 made bio flashcards on exam questions we've done while studying this topic
10:15-10:20 went through bio checklist
10:20-1:35 made quizlet cards on the bio content (probs spent around 30 mins of this getting distracted)

Today: Got my BMAT essay back and the teacher said it was good:yeah: i had my 2 period bio test first thing and we were given about 30 mins to revise before doing the test. It was ok, but there were alot of detailed questions on chloroplast pigments which we kinda just passed over in the lesson and I didn't see when I read the text book so idk if it went well. Like I had the understanding but I feel like it might not get the mark scheme points. Break I went to the library and did 2 maths Q's cuz I didn't have the time to revise last night. P3 I did friction in my maths lesson. P4 I had my maths test and i think it went well apart from the question on sampling and a question on determining the modulus equation from the range given.

My sports option was basket ball and there r 3 girls out of 20 boys and we r ****e so we were each given a mentor to help us get better at shooting. I had a guy that I hated in y11 for literally no reason apart from I sat next to him in every lesson and he's acc so chill and I improved so much Like to the point where we were playing the thing where if you win a match u move up a court and if you lose you move down a court and we won the entire thing:danceboy: (There's a point to this) Basically I was picked for his team and someone fouled me so I had to take a free throw and all 5 guys, taller than me, surrounded me and were like you cannot **** this up and then the entire class was watching me so I was bricking it. News Alert: It didn't go in but a guy in my team got the rebound and scored. Irrelevant but I was so intimidated. Literally all but 1 were y11's as well. I have never been so intimidated by youngers.

Watched 2/3 episodes of the good doctor today instead of doing BMAT. i cried during the quarantine episodes:bawling: I rarely cry in shows or movies andI literally don't even know why I was crying.

10:50-11:00 read chem poster I did last term (I was supposed to make a blurb for a presentation at skl tmrw but cba and I have a whole lesson dedicated to that tmrw)
11:25-11:40 Read part of the highway code cuz I have my first driving lesson tmrw (even though My bday was in april)
11:50-12:10 Make physics equations quizlet from BMAT

I have lot going on tomorrow, but not really academically, at least not in the traditional sense. I'll explain more tmrw cuz it's easier and will make more sense.

QOTD: What movie/show always make you cry?

Tags: Let me know if you would like to be added or removed x
It's strange, I cry when watching a few films, but I can't think of any specifics.
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PastelColours
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#67
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(Original post by QueenAelin)
Wow, it sounds like you've had a busy day! :laugh: Good luck on your first driving lesson tomorrow!
I cry every time I watch Pride of Prejudice! I love that film so much!
Oml same I love p and p!
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hope2002
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#68
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#68
(Original post by entertainmyfaith)
glad to hear the tests went okay:rave:
call me by your name or big hero 6 make me cry:yep:
TADASHI:bawling:
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hope2002
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#69
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(Original post by QueenAelin)
Wow, it sounds like you've had a busy day! :laugh: Good luck on your first driving lesson tomorrow!
I cry every time I watch Pride of Prejudice! I love that film so much!
Never seen that, might give it a watch after BMAT
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hope2002
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Saturday 26th October 2019: 4 days til BMAT

The Gist: Sorry I haven't updated in 10 days. I'm not doing too well rj. Ifeel like I haven't even revised for BMAT. My practice paper scores have been all over the place, I've been happy with some and terrified by others. Even though Ik I've been revising for 2 weeks it doesn't really feel like i have, the quality hasn't been there and it's scaring me cuz Imperial is by first choice uni and I feel like now I'm just convincing myself fI don't wanna go there even though I really do. I did last years past paper and did well enough that I think I would have gotten an interview last year, but the paper I did on Monday was a better score in one of the sections. I'm also scared cuz I've been reading the threads in TSR and ppl have been revising for months and ppl who have already done it did worse in the real thing than in their practice, but then at the same time I remember I was scared about the same thing for UCAT and then my real one was the best one I ever did. then again I did 3/4 hours revision a day for 2 weeks followed by 6 hours a day the 10 days before the real thing and here I've not done that. I'm just scared even though it doesn't mean as much as it does for other people. Also I feel like my mental health is worse with this exam than with UCAT cuz I started revision for UCAT on my family and friends holiday so I was forced to be productive in those 3 hours then go out for the rest of the day and go to dinner and get dressed up and have a shower everyday as well. I guess in some sad way that was my best holiday cuz it forced me to relax AND be productive and it worked. And now I'm here, managed to have a shower today, but I was also crying a couple nights ago and cld really go again. I'm just trying to have that positive mental attitude. and speak it into existence.

Also I deleted instagram so I cld be more productive and have now turned to tik tok instead. I discovered my old musically account and am not unironically addicted to tik tok so that's great. Also I started watching white collar on netflix. I watched it when I was 12/13 ( was going through a little crime phase with castle, B99 and a couple other shows) and I can confirm I still find Matt bomer peng. Only problem is I decided to search him up and turns out HE'S FORTY TWO. FORTY ****ING TWO. WHAT THE ****. He also has a husband and 3 kids which I did not see coming. In all fairness, the first season of White collar aired in 2009 so he was 32 then and that is way more acceptable. Still heartbroken about that, properly crushed my y7 soul.

The cut off for imperial:

Spoiler:
Show
s1/s2/s3
4.5/4.5/3b

also they put all the applicants above the threshold into bands and the higher bands get interviews first. Band 1 get 90% of offers or something like that.


My practice test scores so far:

Spoiler:
Show
s1/s2(/s3 marked by kaplan)
4.9/5.2
5.4/5.4/3a
5.1/5.4/3a
5.9/5.1/4a
4.9/3.2
2.6/6.3
4.7/5.3
4.6/5.7

My goal:
Spoiler:
Show
s1/s2/s3
6/6.5/4a

I shall try and keep you updated


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Last edited by hope2002; 5 months ago
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entertainmyfaith
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#71
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good luck you'll be okay!
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QueenAelin
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Good luck! You're going to do great! :hugs:
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hope2002
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#73
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#73
(Original post by entertainmyfaith)
good luck you'll be okay!
Hope so:crossedf:
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hope2002
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#74
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(Original post by QueenAelin)
Good luck! You're going to do great! :hugs:
Thank you
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hope2002
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Monday 28th October 2019: 1 More day before BMAT

The Gist: I only did 2 hours of work yesterday including a paper which was awful. Even more so considering how close the exam is. So I had a breakdown last night. Woke up at 7:30am today went on my phone for like 30 mins and haven't been on it since, apart from to pick up my mum's call and play music while making dosa, but 0 social media or contact with the outside world. That would normally sound like torture, but it was acc very freeing because I didn't feel obliged to talk to anyone and it really helped with my productivity. I got hours done today and did 2 papers minus the essay section. Although now that I think about it I haven't done an essay in 3 days. I did things in moderation and I feel like I took care of my mental health today in some weird way considering I had a breakdown last night. Like I was reasonable about how much netflix I watched and made sure I stayed disciplined about it. I also didn't really keep track of how much time I'd already spent today until around 4pm when I realised that I'd done 6 hours so I became less disciplined and went on youtube. Like I even made my dinner and had fun doing it.

Ngl bit worried about my scores cuz I need to get above 5 in s1 & s2 to be safe. They're still fluctuating a bit.

I did the first 35 questions from last year's tsa paper and got 24/35 which is my goal for section 1 bmat, but tsa is easier than section 1 bmat so I'm concerned. I also did some isc book questions, got 4/6 maths, 3/5 bio and 3/6 physics. I can do better.

Scores from the past 2 days:

Spoiler:
Show
s1/s2
4.9/3.1- worse than red
5.4/5.1
4.4/4.9

I also got an essay back from kaplan and got a 4a, I think it was more of a 3a but I'll take it.

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Last edited by hope2002; 5 months ago
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entertainmyfaith
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well done on being productive:rave:
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Toastiekid
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:hugs: glad you’re looking after yourself
Good luck with the last push of revision before the exam
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mez_merising
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aaaah all the best for tomorrow💓💓
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QueenAelin
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I'm glad you're prioritising your mental health! Good luck with everything! :lovie:
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hope2002
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Tuesday 12th November 2019: Update

The Gist: Sorry, ik it's been 2 weeks but I just dreaded updating after my BMAT. I've been trying not to think aboutit,but I'm really scared. REsults are in 10 days and I'm not sureI've done well enough and tbh I don't think I even want to open my results when they come through. I literally have no clue how that went. Section 1 was ok, section 2 was harder than normal and section 3 was a really odd question and it was the first time i didn't finish an essay. I was 1 word away from finishing and I still feel so demoralised about the whole application process from it. The thing it everyone else found it about the same so it's going to be so hit or miss and I'm worried it won't be hit cuz I only spent 2 week revising when other people spent 2 months. I'm just really worried and dreading it.

After BMAT I spent the rest of my half term relaxing, meaning I didn't do any homework and so I felt behind from the get go. This was supposed to be our last holiday without work but in reality my last holiday without work was back in feb, which I don't even remember cuz my mental health was so poor that I just don't remember most of jan-march of this year. Last half term just felt like such a blur an I think i'm a bit overwhelmed as if i've burnt out already without doing any work or being productive in the first place.

When I got back to school I had 5 days to complete my Non-Academic Information Form for Manchester which is leaving it very last minute and I just feel so **** about it cuz I didn't give it my best shot. My mum and dad both said it was **** and i'm just so worried. I'm worried about my acc A-levels as well. They're more important thant anything else and If I don't do well in them then I'm ****ed. I reallllllllllly want to get all A*'s but I'm not working to that standard.

In other better news I guess, I got an offer for interview for King's on 29th November which is good because I have an interview, but then also it's so soon and I just don't feel ready. I'm going to an MMI course this weekend so that should help but i'm fricking scared man.

I just can't get the motivation to do anything and I think it could be me holding back cuz I'm scared of the future but then also Ik how important it is, and it's so far away that it doesn't make any sense. I just can't **** this up. Like just in general, with school I just don't want to do the work. I have no discipline. I just wanna cry. I'm not being productive. I literally don't want to spend my life working. I read this thing where it was like the biggest con that we had growing up was thinking about dream jobs because a job isn't part of the dream. Honestly facts. But that's not how life works.

I got set a maths hw today, due tmrw and I just don't want to do it. To the point I could cry and have a tantrum. I just realllllllly don't want to do it. but at the same time putting it off isn't gonna do any good cuz I'm gonna have to do it at some point. And it's a topic I don't understand at all and I just ****ing hate this ****. Well, now I'm crying so that's fun.

I fell like theres just so much uncertainty in my life at the moment and I'm struggling to cope, but at the same time i'm creating these issues myself and it's my fault. Like why can't I just sit down and do work and be productive so that I can have some free time or do other stuff and just be happier. It just makes me so annoyed at myself. Still crying by the way.

I'mm gonna go schedule my counselling session for this week.

Sorry if i haven't replied to you or anything, It took so much effort to even sit down and open this website, let alone type all this and yeah I wanna say it'll get better cuz it really want it to, but who ****ing knows. All Ik is that I need to get all A*'s at a level to not be a **** up.

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