Lostx’ blog

Lots of hugs. Sounds like things are really tough for you atm It's understandable to wanna be someone else, but I think it's important to try and identify good qualities in yourself too. Also, wanting to make everyone happy can lead to burn-out so please be careful

I have no good qualities, I really don’t. Trying to keep everyone happy is just how I cope with life. Thanks for your concerns, it really means a lot to me.

Well that's not true, that you have no good qualities. You checked in with someone on MHSS today, which shows you are caring and considerate of others, despite your own suffering

I guess so. I just feel very negative about myself. All I try is to keep everyone else happy.

Thanks for caring

I'm a complete hypocrite for saying this, but I do think carving out an identity beyond keeping everyone else happy is important. You don't seem to like yourself much, which is a great shame - and I do think there are things that can be done about that Have you ever heard of positive affirmations?

No

if i’m honest I have no identity other than being a mad girl locked up on a psych ward.

How are you? Hope you’re ok

There's more to you than that - promise you. You just have to (slowly) realise/come to terms with that. It's really hard when you've got such a negative self-narrative (I know, as I see some of my younger self in you! ) but I do believe (from my own experiences) that it's possible to start to build/write alternative narratives

Positive affirmations are positive statements, basically. My third therapist would set me homework where I had to write one nice thing about myself (not one nice thing someone else had/would say - something *I* think about myself) for each day. At first it was near-impossible - and actually, very distressing. But it slowly became easier. And the easier it became, the more helpful it was, because the more I could start to believe in what I was writing about myself

Thank you. I might try that tip myself!

I definitely do have a negative narrative

Played a lot of guitar today. Helped to distract me a bit. I am trying to learn stairway to heaven by led zeppelin. Coming along ok.

Felt like **** all day.

If anyone has BPD can you please help me? What are the main characteristics? The psychiatrist is adamant I have this. No offence to anyone here, but I always presumed it was for those with attention seeking behaviour. Now I have it and I don’t know if it is the correct diagnosis.

Woohoo!!

Had some leave today with the psychiatrist (lol) and it went well. And now I might be able to go home on Saturday for leave ( not forever!)

Woohoo!!

Had some leave today with the psychiatrist (lol) and it went well. And now I might be able to go home on Saturday for leave ( not forever!)

I’m actually feeling so happy now. I am looking forward to my birthday and Christmas. In the past I would not want to celebrate anything. I am going on home leave over the weekend which I am excited about. I just hope I will be out for Christmas 🎄

Have a lovely weekend! But have an even more lovely birthday and Christmas

Pleased to hear and fingers crossed

I’m actually feeling so happy now. I am looking forward to my birthday and Christmas. In the past I would not want to celebrate anything. I am going on home leave over the weekend which I am excited about. I just hope I will be out for Christmas 🎄