Why do people stare at me? Is it my way of dressing or how I look? PLEASE HELP! Watch

Anonymous #1
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I’m a seventeen year old female and I’ve been stared at most of my life. I have Aspergers so I don’t know why or what’s wrong with me. My family and friends notice it, so it isn’t just me. My mother is the one who sees it a lot because we spend the most time together. I asked people why they stare at me and of course they use the normal excuse “you’re pretty!” I don’t believe that because 1. I’ve never been in a relationship and 2. If I was pretty I think I’d know. I’m super insecure, I think I’d know if I was a pretty and I definitely wouldn’t be insecure. I do agree I sort of look “different” but not in a “good” way like people say. I’d say I’m average. I’m sorry if this sounds rude or self centred but I really don’t think that’s it.

I wear black skinny jeans and military boots and band t shirts most of the time. Sometimes I’ll just wear a regular white t shirt with jeans and converse. I wear eyeliner but it isn’t super dramatic or dark, just on the top, sort of cat eye. I also wear some bb cream so my makeup isn’t dramatic compared to the girls at my school for sure lol. I have dark hair with bangs and it’s straight, sort of medium length. I’m 5’7” and sometimes 5’8.5” in my military shoes. Is it my height? My mum says I’m tall however I do not tower over anyone, in fact without my shoes I feel shorter than most people. So I’m assuming it’s my looks but I need advice ok. Do I sound strange looking? Please be honest. By the way I describe myself, do I sound strange by the way I look? I could go more into detail about my looks if it’s really needed.

I have social anxiety so I don’t usually have my head up and I have maladaptive daydreaming as well. But when I have my head up it makes my anxiety worse because if I see someone looking at me it triggers me to look down. I don’t usually look at people due to that reason. Because when I look up people are staring at me. Sometimes people smile, sometimes they just stare. I can’t keep eye contact so I just look away. I’ve tried having my head up and walking with confidence and I still get stares. Most of them are smiles during this time. Which I guess comes with confidence. Again I’m not the only one who notices it, my friends and family mention that people stare at me as well. You see I can’t tell if they’re good or bad stares, I have a hard time with social cues. Sometimes it’s smiles sometimes it’s just plain staring. Usually the women smile and the men just stare and if I look at them they won’t stop.
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tayyibshah
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From what I've read I can tell you have a really cool dress sense that I wouldn't personally be so insecure about, but I'm aware that social anxiety isn't really a thing that goes away overnight. I'd just like to make it clear that it's not okay for people to stare at others in public: it's rude and socially unacceptable. But there are some people who, for whatever reason can't seem to comply with that and there's a lot of them. I'd honestly advise to stare back (yes, I know that sounds intimidating and horrifying) but it genuinely works. People stare because they think they're doing it discretely, so if you ever stare back momentarily they'll most often leave you alone. If they don't, well, there's a few people like that too for God knows whatever reason, but take pride in your step and don't let people around you make you feel uncomfortable for going about your daily life.
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Dunnig Kruger
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From your description, you sound like a very attractive young woman. 5'7" is a perfect height. Your dress sense is cool.

Let other people stare away. They can window shop all they like. But only a selected few get to handle the merchandise - metaphorically speaking.

There is nothing wrong with you. There's a lot that's right. And there's a few things about you that are different to most (but certainly not all people). Those differences are OK. They're a part of what you are.
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samcrxss
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Not to derail, but being attractive doesn't automatically get you a relationship. Also not everyone knows if they're "pretty". attractiveness is subjective. Some people may think you're gorgeous, some may not. I know loads of people who I think look great, all the time, but they think they're ugly.

Also - could be the band shirts they're staring at! I wear merch to show off sometimes. It's nice to see people taking an interest.
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Anonymous #2
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First of all.. why does it matter and why does it bother you? Who cares if you get stared at, everyone experiences it at-least one point in their life regardless. Just go about your day and don't let it stick to you, or you're just going to be more cautious than ever whenever your out in public.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
First of all.. why does it matter and why does it bother you? Who cares if you get stared at, everyone experiences it at-least one point in their life regardless. Just go about your day and don't let it stick to you, or you're just going to be more cautious than ever whenever your out in public.
I have social anxiety among other things and it makes it worse when people stare at me because I don’t know if they’re good or bad stares. I can’t just snap out of it and be normal and not care. Sorry.
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Anonymous #3
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You might just feel like everyone is staring at you I’m the exact same whenever I go outside I feel everywhere I look people are staring. But my friends say that’s not the case whenever I’m out with them.
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Anonymous #3
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You might have social anxiety
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