How nervous is too nervous? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
Hi,

I’m due to start uni in a couple weeks. Just before results day I started questioning if this is what I really want.

I’ve been back and forth about whether to defer or not. It’s gotten to the point where the nerves are stopping me from being excited about my course.

On Thursday I’d decided to go, and for a while felt relieved. As the evening went on I started to panic again. At first I thought it was just the shock of having made a decision, but then overnight I woke up to a panic attack, and the same happened Saturday. I then decided that if I could I would defer my entry, but then this morning I woke up with panic about that too.

I really don’t know how to come to a final decision or what is a normal level of anxiety to feel.

If anyone has any input it would be greatly appreciated.
0
reply
Letho
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
Hi, I am no expert in this but it sounds like the thought of studying this course is draining and affecting your well being. Don't rush into anything so soon. You are still young and there will be plenty of time to decide what you want. Your well being is more important than anything right now, because if you are feeling this way already who knows how it will be once you start the course.

University opportunities will always be there. My advice now would be to defer and focus on what you really want to do.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#3
I don’t know whether to go now and try or take a year out
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#4
(Original post by Letho)
Hi, I am no expert in this but it sounds like the thought of studying this course is draining and affecting your well being. Don't rush into anything so soon. You are still young and there will be plenty of time to decide what you want. Your well being is more important than anything right now, because if you are feeling this way already who knows how it will be once you start the course.

University opportunities will always be there. My advice now would be to defer and focus on what you really want to do.
Thank you. I worry it’ll be worse next year.

The uni had confirmed a bursary is going down in value and that tuition fees may rise. I don’t know if this means I should give it a go or not
0
reply
Letho
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 week ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you. I worry it’ll be worse next year.

The uni had confirmed a bursary is going down in value and that tuition fees may rise. I don’t know if this means I should give it a go or not
You know yourself better than anyone else does. If you think this approach is the best way then go for it. But if you think you will regret not attending this year then make sure you live without that regret.
0
reply
Ikeo
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
Bless you and I'm not going to tell you that 'everyone will be feeling like that', because saying that really doesn't help..

Firstly, do you know what kind of support your university has? They will definitely have something and you should make the most of it, maybe ask your parents or friends to ring up the university (with your consent) if you're not confident about it enough yourself. Whether it be counselling, therapy, a specialist mentor, you should ensure that you receive the necessary support to make the transition and time through university as smooth and calm as possible, please do this - reaching out will hopefully help you feel a bit better and they aren't going to turn you down

Panic attacks will be a sign of anxiety, so a bit more than just being nervous. If you have time before uni begins, maybe you could see your GP to sort out some sort of external support such as medication so that you can try and make you feel better. Also they could be used to provide evidence to the university of this issue and lead to greater support

I am sorry that you have been suffering from daily panic attacks Before any support is implemented, try and find ways to disband your worries such as by breathing techniques, meditation, positive affirmations and daily exercise or communicate with friends and family so they can advise you on your worries.

Do not go through this alone, if you need any support just PM me Good luck!
0
reply
cam777
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 week ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi,

I’m due to start uni in a couple weeks. Just before results day I started questioning if this is what I really want.

I’ve been back and forth about whether to defer or not. It’s gotten to the point where the nerves are stopping me from being excited about my course.

On Thursday I’d decided to go, and for a while felt relieved. As the evening went on I started to panic again. At first I thought it was just the shock of having made a decision, but then overnight I woke up to a panic attack, and the same happened Saturday. I then decided that if I could I would defer my entry, but then this morning I woke up with panic about that too.

I really don’t know how to come to a final decision or what is a normal level of anxiety to feel.

If anyone has any input it would be greatly appreciated.
It's always going to be anxiety inducing, it's a really big step. If you go and change your mind then it's easier to leave than regret not going at which point you'll have to wait another year. Certainly won't be nearly as scary as you imagine.
0
reply
username22110099
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 week ago
#8
having panic attacks 24/7 and extreme anxiety.
0
reply
Ikeo
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 week ago
#9
Oh and in relation to taking a gap year, I am not sure on how the funding would work so I can't advise you on this sorry

I will advise you to try it and see how you feel before you decide to stop going, but by seeing what support is available beforehand may make you feel better and make you feel less anxious. It will highly likely be better than you are imaging it to be and because of all of your current spare time, you may be overthinking it a bit
0
reply
marinade
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 week ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
If anyone has any input it would be greatly appreciated.
It sounds like you may have anxiety.

It's difficult to tell because the sorts of things people who don't have anxiety worry about are often the same things that people with anxiety worry about, but worry about 10x worse. They may even nominally be described similarly. Lots of well meaning people then say oh that's normal.

I got my A-level results years ago and spent the entire summer in horrific worry and panic about going to uni and then I wrote a deferral letter to the uni as I thought I couldn't hack it. I then went out and got a job afterwards to justify the decision to the university and everyone else. At the unis I've been at I've since met others who did the same, dropped out, had years out and so on, you can see it on these message boards if you read enough messages.

There just isn't any way of knowing what the 'correct' decision is. Some people defer and never go. Some people defer and it makes it worse. Some people defer and it works out great. Some people go straight away and it's the right decision. Some go straight away and it's the wrong decision.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#11
(Original post by Letho)
You know yourself better than anyone else does. If you think this approach is the best way then go for it. But if you think you will regret not attending this year then make sure you live without that regret.
I would totally just give it a go if it wasn’t for the loan I’d have to take out in order to do so, even if it’s not the full loan it’s still quite a bit. I keep talking myself in circles :/

Thank you for your reply
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#12
(Original post by Ikeo)
Bless you and I'm not going to tell you that 'everyone will be feeling like that', because saying that really doesn't help..

Firstly, do you know what kind of support your university has? They will definitely have something and you should make the most of it, maybe ask your parents or friends to ring up the university (with your consent) if you're not confident about it enough yourself. Whether it be counselling, therapy, a specialist mentor, you should ensure that you receive the necessary support to make the transition and time through university as smooth and calm as possible, please do this - reaching out will hopefully help you feel a bit better and they aren't going to turn you down

Panic attacks will be a sign of anxiety, so a bit more than just being nervous. If you have time before uni begins, maybe you could see your GP to sort out some sort of external support such as medication so that you can try and make you feel better. Also they could be used to provide evidence to the university of this issue and lead to greater support

I am sorry that you have been suffering from daily panic attacks Before any support is implemented, try and find ways to disband your worries such as by breathing techniques, meditation, positive affirmations and daily exercise or communicate with friends and family so they can advise you on your worries.

Do not go through this alone, if you need any support just PM me Good luck!
Thank you,

I don’t know what they have exactly but I do know they’re pretty well renowned for their support. I think they have a mental health team onsite?

I also rang my GP earlier, they want to see me tomorrow morning, I don’t know if it’ll help much but I hope it does!
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#13
(Original post by cam777)
It's always going to be anxiety inducing, it's a really big step. If you go and change your mind then it's easier to leave than regret not going at which point you'll have to wait another year. Certainly won't be nearly as scary as you imagine.
In some ways I do want to try but at the same time I can’t see past the debt I’ll incur if I try and don’t like it, the debt obviously is a factor in my anxiety anyway but the thought of getting it for nothing is also scary
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#14
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#14
(Original post by marinade)
It sounds like you may have anxiety.

It's difficult to tell because the sorts of things people who don't have anxiety worry about are often the same things that people with anxiety worry about, but worry about 10x worse. They may even nominally be described similarly. Lots of well meaning people then say oh that's normal.

I got my A-level results years ago and spent the entire summer in horrific worry and panic about going to uni and then I wrote a deferral letter to the uni as I thought I couldn't hack it. I then went out and got a job afterwards to justify the decision to the university and everyone else. At the unis I've been at I've since met others who did the same, dropped out, had years out and so on, you can see it on these message boards if you read enough messages.

There just isn't any way of knowing what the 'correct' decision is. Some people defer and never go. Some people defer and it makes it worse. Some people defer and it works out great. Some people go straight away and it's the right decision. Some go straight away and it's the wrong decision.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety previously, I just thought I’d learned to manage it properly through counselling and cbt etc.

Some people are saying that if I’m unsure I should just defer but at the same time I don’t know how much anxiety is normal considering I have anxiety anyway and obviously uni is a huge step?
0
reply
marinade
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#15
Report 1 week ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have been diagnosed with anxiety previously, I just thought I’d learned to manage it properly through counselling and cbt etc.

Some people are saying that if I’m unsure I should just defer but at the same time I don’t know how much anxiety is normal considering I have anxiety anyway and obviously uni is a huge step?
In my personal experience and that of talking to many, many other people at great length about their experiences of anxiety (many types), some people do 'get better' apparently, but many people the anxiety returns and each time it's different. I myself have GAD and agoraphobia and for the last year had a fairly horrid flare up of agoraphobia when that had previously been manageable/dormant. It's frustrating because stuff you previously learn to cope with stuff is good, but it evolves and is different every time to new strategies have to be adapted/built in.

The standard advice from someone without anxiety is going to be if you are unsure then defer. Also the 'sort yourself out' and then go to uni type advice, which is well meant. Those who have had a lot of problems and fixed them in gap year timescales will also obviously advice the yeah go later.

For myself life is way too messy and I've seen all of the combinations I outlined above, so I don't know. Like another poster said you (hopefully) know yourself best, maybe that's wiser than waffle.

As a follow on from that as you've posted further and we've got more of a picture the worry about the loan is a combination of the insane times we live in and anxiety. I have that too. It does sound to me that you do want to go really.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#16
(Original post by marinade)
In my personal experience and that of talking to many, many other people at great length about their experiences of anxiety (many types), some people do 'get better' apparently, but many people the anxiety returns and each time it's different. I myself have GAD and agoraphobia and for the last year had a fairly horrid flare up of agoraphobia when that had previously been manageable/dormant. It's frustrating because stuff you previously learn to cope with stuff is good, but it evolves and is different every time to new strategies have to be adapted/built in.

The standard advice from someone without anxiety is going to be if you are unsure then defer. Also the 'sort yourself out' and then go to uni type advice, which is well meant. Those who have had a lot of problems and fixed them in gap year timescales will also obviously advice the yeah go later.

For myself life is way too messy and I've seen all of the combinations I outlined above, so I don't know. Like another poster said you (hopefully) know yourself best, maybe that's wiser than waffle.

As a follow on from that as you've posted further and we've got more of a picture the worry about the loan is a combination of the insane times we live in and anxiety. I have that too. It does sound to me that you do want to go really.
Thanks for sharing that with me, I’m sorry to hear about your flare up.

I really feel like I don’t know what I want because on the one hand I know that if money wasn’t an issue I’d be willing to give it a go. On the other hand, I’ve heard lots of good things about degree apprenticeships, but I live in the middle of nowhere so I can’t bank on getting one.

I don’t feel excited about going but at the same time I don’t feel excited about not going. Obviously taking a gap year is less of a commitment financially and saves the option for later, but somethings stopping me from just ringing up and deferring, and I can’t tell if this is because deep down I want to go this year or if it’s just my anxiety playing tricks.

Thank you to you and everyone else for being so lovely about this. It’s really upsetting but at least I don’t feel quite as alone anymore so I’m grateful.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#17
(Original post by Ikeo)
Bless you and I'm not going to tell you that 'everyone will be feeling like that', because saying that really doesn't help..

Firstly, do you know what kind of support your university has? They will definitely have something and you should make the most of it, maybe ask your parents or friends to ring up the university (with your consent) if you're not confident about it enough yourself. Whether it be counselling, therapy, a specialist mentor, you should ensure that you receive the necessary support to make the transition and time through university as smooth and calm as possible, please do this - reaching out will hopefully help you feel a bit better and they aren't going to turn you down

Panic attacks will be a sign of anxiety, so a bit more than just being nervous. If you have time before uni begins, maybe you could see your GP to sort out some sort of external support such as medication so that you can try and make you feel better. Also they could be used to provide evidence to the university of this issue and lead to greater support

I am sorry that you have been suffering from daily panic attacks Before any support is implemented, try and find ways to disband your worries such as by breathing techniques, meditation, positive affirmations and daily exercise or communicate with friends and family so they can advise you on your worries.

Do not go through this alone, if you need any support just PM me Good luck!
I’m sorry to add to your notifications, but I just tried the meditation as my sister recommended it also. It felt somewhat calming when I could get into it, but I still had thoughts of worry during it even when I followed the guidance of the narrator. Do you know if this fades?
0
reply
marinade
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#18
Report 1 week ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m sorry to add to your notifications, but I just tried the meditation as my sister recommended it also. It felt somewhat calming when I could get into it, but I still had thoughts of worry during it even when I followed the guidance of the narrator. Do you know if this fades?
I recommend mindfulness. Unfortunately it's a bit marmite. Some people get on really well with it and others don't.

Meditation and mindfulness take work though. The people that get gigantic benefits from it often work at it quite hard and persistently.

It's absolutely normal to have thoughts of worry and distractions during it. Even people without anxiety get that!

If you get good at it, over time those thoughts still happen (although research suggests it can reduce by about 30%), but that what I call your mind taking you for a joyride doesn't go on for as long. It becomes easier to bring yourself back into the present. It also has benefits for when you aren't doing mindfulness exercises.
0
reply
marinade
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#19
Report 1 week ago
#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for sharing that with me, I’m sorry to hear about your flare up.

I really feel like I don’t know what I want because on the one hand I know that if money wasn’t an issue I’d be willing to give it a go. On the other hand, I’ve heard lots of good things about degree apprenticeships, but I live in the middle of nowhere so I can’t bank on getting one.

I don’t feel excited about going but at the same time I don’t feel excited about not going. Obviously taking a gap year is less of a commitment financially and saves the option for later, but somethings stopping me from just ringing up and deferring, and I can’t tell if this is because deep down I want to go this year or if it’s just my anxiety playing tricks.

Thank you to you and everyone else for being so lovely about this. It’s really upsetting but at least I don’t feel quite as alone anymore so I’m grateful.
I've had anxiety my whole life. I'm done with the people telling me it's normal or that it'll go away, or convincing myself of that. However it is manageable. Most people go around the block a few times and try lots of different things and find things that work for them.

If money wasn't an object it sounds like you want to give it a go. So I would say give it a go.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top

Are you attending a Global Climate Strike?

Yes, I'm striking (8)
6.4%
No, but I wanted to/I support the cause (70)
56%
No (47)
37.6%

Watched Threads

View All