Selective Mutism Watch

pinkcarrots
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
Anyone with SM looking for a genuine friendship? I know how it feels to feel alone especially when it comes to having friends and friends who understand. Me, I've never really had genuine friends nor ones who really get me. SM is hard as it is, being alone with it is harder.

I'm quite anxious writing this as I expect no replies or messages. but still I'd say it's worth a go. There's no other way to get myself out there in terms of trying to make like minded friends.

A bit about me, I'm Chloe, I'm 21 and in the UK. I've never really tried to get myself out there because of anxiety so I'm trying to overcome my fear of posting online like this. Hope to hear from someone ☺️
1
reply
tamarinarose
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
(Original post by pinkcarrots)
Anyone with SM looking for a genuine friendship? I know how it feels to feel alone especially when it comes to having friends and friends who understand. Me, I've never really had genuine friends nor ones who really get me. SM is hard as it is, being alone with it is harder.

I'm quite anxious writing this as I expect no replies or messages. but still I'd say it's worth a go. There's no other way to get myself out there in terms of trying to make like minded friends.

A bit about me, I'm Chloe, I'm 21 and in the UK. I've never really tried to get myself out there because of anxiety so I'm trying to overcome my fear of posting online like this. Hope to hear from someone ☺️
hey!!
i didn’t at all expect to see someone post about selective mutism ever cause the only other person i know who had it was my mum. and apparently neither did you🥺 but hello, hi
i’m tamara and i’m 20, also in the UK, i had SM growing up and i finally overcame it 3 years ago in my first year of college! in college i was so quiet though, i only spoke to my friends loudly, but i didn’t struggle so much talking and even joking (😱) with my teachers. thing is, i only went silent at school, not in public with friends or family... until i’d see a school friend or a teacher in public. since getting over my sm, i’ve been more confident and yet, more riddled with anxiety than ever before, i can’t make phone calls (excluding to family or friends) without mentally preparing myself before hand.
so yeah, i’m kinda in the same boat as you, and i totally understand how you feel 😊
0
reply
pinkcarrots
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#3
wow! I didn't know it could be passed on as such. I really really want children but I'm scared in case people will get involved to take them away (past mental health/me having SM) I still think what if I fail by not being able to talk to them or doctors thinking I'm too unfit to keep them. as you can see I overthink every scenario with everything. when I was little (like in nursery so not long after being diagnosed) I could whisper to 1 girl. I could talk to my uncle who then moved to America, came back a few years on and I couldn't talk to him and still cant. most of my family have never heard me talk. a few have heard it by overhearing and they'd point it out and I'd lose my sht. as in run off to be alone and cry from embarrassment because they've heard my voice. The thing is, I want to not be mute, but because I've been this way my whole life and most people haven't heard me talk to them, I'm very very scared and embarrassed of them hearing it in the future, so I cant win!
I wish I could be at the same stage as you but I've got a long wat to go. I dont do phone calls either even to my family who I can talk to due to trust issues when my nana put me on speakerphone of me talking and her friend answering after, I doubt I'll ever do it but who likes phone calls anyway? 😅 I hope we can be in touch. would be amazing as we seem to be so similar which is a good base for any friendship. I dont have any atm because as I'm getting older I'm extremely picky on who's in my life. because of my borderline personality disorder I really get distraught when people leave my life. even people I've known a month it takes a very long time to get over it due to abandonment anxiety.
0
reply
tamarinarose
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 week ago
#4
oh wow that must be really hard on you, i’m so sorry ☹️ you definitely have it worse than i did, but i feel you!! i completely understand how it feels to want to say what you want to say but just... can’t.
at school people who knew what it was because i would’ve told them on facebook messenger didn’t understand at all and they told me it really isn’t that hard to talk... it’s so difficult. just like it’s difficult seeing or doing certain things when you have other mental health issues. other people at school just thought i was very shy but, i wasn’t, i just didn’t speak. shy people can speak, but people with selective mutism, can’t. well, we can, we have the ability to, but something stops us from doing so.
i wish i could tell you how i started speaking when i went to college for the first time, i think it was the fact it was a new place and new people who didn’t know who i was, and the first day was so horrible and i was sweating nervously and having panic attacks, until we all had to introduce ourselves and it came to me and i just forced it out, somehow, and i spoke and the rest of the day it was like a dream, i didn’t expect that of myself.
you may have a long way to go but you’re not alone, believe it or not i know there’s some others out there in similar situations as you, probably not many but there are. i never ever thought i would get over it. i used to google “selective mutism at 30” because i was scared i would never speak.
i think any good base for friendship is understanding and the fact that i understand you and how it feels to be unable to talk to someone is a good sign indeed! i think we should talk more on some other social media if you want? ☺️❤️
0
reply
Al8699
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 week ago
#5
hi I can't really say much about sm bur I have social anxiety quite bad like I can't speak around big groups. so has made making friends at uni really hard not really that close to anyone as when everything hits I end up isolating myself. ì know it's not good but it's safer that way to me I'm sorry I know none of what I said has anything to do with what you guys are going through just I've been on this app for years and never had the guts to say much at all so this is kinda big for me. sorry if it was a tad rude
1
reply
tamarinarose
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
(Original post by Al8699)
hi I can't really say much about sm bur I have social anxiety quite bad like I can't speak around big groups. so has made making friends at uni really hard not really that close to anyone as when everything hits I end up isolating myself. ì know it's not good but it's safer that way to me I'm sorry I know none of what I said has anything to do with what you guys are going through just I've been on this app for years and never had the guts to say much at all so this is kinda big for me. sorry if it was a tad rude
not rude at all☺️ i have one friend on my course at uni and that’s it. i’m fairly extroverted and some days i’m more confident than others, but when i try to be nice or say something funny, people just look at me with a blank expression and go back to what they’re doing which really worsens my anxiety and my confidence, so making friends is hard for me. i have a lot of friends i’m very thankful for, but only because i really hold on to them because if i lost them then i wouldn’t make friends again that easily. never be afraid to speak up about something like this! it’s good to get it off your chest, and out there, especially if you need someone to hear it☺️❤️
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top

It is really important for me to be involved in helping make my university better

Strongly disagree (2)
10%
Disagree (2)
10%
Neither agree or disagree (6)
30%
Agree (6)
30%
Strongly Agree (4)
20%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed