Not making friends during freshers week Watch

Unilad092001
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Hi there! I haven't made any meaningful friends during freshers week (a year ago). There was a lot of booze and parties, but strong relationships won't develop until much later (and normally with people you see every day, whether it's flatmates or colleagues doing the same course). Don't expect too much, enjoy yourself and let these things happen naturally . Hope it helps.
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Anonymous #1
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I've only signed up to like 5 events and 4/5 are alcohol based... I do drink but I don't plan on drinking anything during the first few weeks of uni because I would like to get to know the city first. Is not drinking during freshers okay?
Also, I'm supposed to be coming home on the second week of uni for the weekend, is this too early? Will I miss out on friendship opportunities if I go home, I will have been at uni for 13 days until that point so surely it would be okay to go home that early?
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MinaBee
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've only signed up to like 5 events and 4/5 are alcohol based... I do drink but I don't plan on drinking anything during the first few weeks of uni because I would like to get to know the city first. Is not drinking during freshers okay?
Also, I'm supposed to be coming home on the second week of uni for the weekend, is this too early? Will I miss out on friendship opportunities if I go home, I will have been at uni for 13 days until that point so surely it would be okay to go home that early?
You don't have to drink, don't worry. If anyone judges you for it then they're obviously not worth your time.

You can go home whenever you want. I find that weekends tend to be a little dead at university so I doubt you'll be missing out on much. Even if there is something planned, just say you can't make it but would love to join in next time (or something like that).

You have 3 years at uni, you're not going to be friendless just because you went home for 2 days.

You're going to be fine
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Anonymous #1
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Does everyone cook their own food during freshers?
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UniversityOfSunderland
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Personally, I found that I made my strongest connections with the people I lived with and those that were on the same society as me. Freshers' isn't the be all and end all. Reach out to your course mates, ask if they want to grab a coffee sometime and see if your university offers any clubs and societies of interest to you. You'll find it easy to build relationships with those who you have some common ground with.

One thing our SU offers is SU buddies, they put you in touch with a fellow student based on your interests and area of study and match you with someone that will help you make the most of your experience.
Maybe check our your SU to see if they offer something similar?

Try and not panic, the best friendships do happen naturally and make the most of the opportunities your uni provides to create new relationships.
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GeolPhysics
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My stronger connections were formed in my course. I had friends to study with and we'd talk about societies too. I had an unfortunate experience of a friend leaving me for another friend during 1st year when I thought we'd be close. Another one of my friends dropped out after first year university too. So I was left with two close friends in the course and some weaker bonds to three people who were formed on TSR who met out with me a few times in first year. My flatmates and I didn't gel well because I didn't drink. There was some bullying near the end of first year that was never reported. But Freshers was a good experience for me overall. Got to the stalls to find out about different societies and even joined quite a few at the beginning of the year.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GeolPhysics)
My stronger connections were formed in my course. I had friends to study with and we'd talk about societies too. I had an unfortunate experience of a friend leaving me for another friend during 1st year when I thought we'd be close. Another one of my friends dropped out after first year university too. So I was left with two close friends in the course and some weaker bonds to three people who were formed on TSR who met out with me a few times in first year. My flatmates and I didn't gel well because I didn't drink. There was some bullying near the end of first year that was never reported. But Freshers was a good experience for me overall. Got to the stalls to find out about different societies and even joined quite a few at the beginning of the year.
Really? I can’t believe that about your flat mates! Drinking isn’t be all end all, they clearly weren’t worth your time
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GeolPhysics
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Really? I can’t believe that about your flat mates! Drinking isn’t be all end all, they clearly weren’t worth your time
Yeah and they all got worse grades than me during tests so that was funny.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by GeolPhysics)
Yeah and they all got worse grades than me during tests so that was funny.
I don’t drink either and judging by my halls groupchat it seems that everyone’s into heavy drinking and going out - which I hate. I’m scared of them thinking I’m boring or being anti social on purpose just because I don’t drink (for religious reasons) and being bullied because of it
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GeolPhysics
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t drink either and judging by my halls groupchat it seems that everyone’s into heavy drinking and going out - which I hate. I’m scared of them thinking I’m boring or being anti social on purpose just because I don’t drink (for religious reasons) and being bullied because of it
But remember when you score higher than them in tests, that's when you get the last laugh. Just work hard and don't care too much about others. Try to make friends with people in your course and ask questions to the lecturer and on the study help forum on TSR. The 'don't care too much about others' should have been something I did. Instead, I let it affect me a bit. Really, I've been bullied in first, second and third year by different people. I've taken gap years and I'm currently on one and it makes me feel better when I'm away from my classmates for a while. I got to do a placement for eight months after second year where there was no bullying. I don't know, I'm not doing anything different from other people. Really unsure why I get picked on. Get an internship in 2nd/third year, it will be good for jobs. I've just finished third year.
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Anonymous #3
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My advice is just don't pretend to be something you're not (what's the point in friends if you can't be yourself around them?). Don't be afraid or worried to be by yourself, it happens to a lot of students at first.

If you don't drink for whatever reasons it is going to be more difficult for you initially if you want to make 'friends', but as others mentioned MOST of the 'friendships' made on these freshers nights out are superficial and don't form any lasting bond (i'd actually say the same applies to the none drinking/sober fresher nights which are often arranged).

People on them nights out might even regret it later since you have this weird relationship with people you've met from those nights out where people feel so desperate to fit in and you can tell it's a 'friendship' formed out of desperation and fear not to be alone rather than any real connection, to me it only shows a weakness of character. The benefit you also have with not drinking is you don't end up acting like an idiot by accident and regretting it for the entire year.

And once freshers calms down, it's fine, you meet people on your course etc and there's no pressure it forms naturally.

So don't worry about it.
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Larissa14
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Doesnt mean you cant make friends during freshers week though. I met one of my closest friends at a party in freshers week in 1st year. We are still amazing friends 3 years later. Dont rule freshers friends out.
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DoritoEvie
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(Original post by Larissa14)
Doesnt mean you cant make friends during freshers week though. I met one of my closest friends at a party in freshers week in 1st year. We are still amazing friends 3 years later. Dont rule freshers friends out.
This is amazing advice, but I'll do the opposite: I met all my people outside of freshers, mainly because I never attended any of the fresher's events - I didn't in my first year, nor in my second, and I'm not planning to this year, either... So, it can go both ways. Whatever suits you, honestly.
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SMEGGGY
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Awww so cute erm
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looloo2134
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(Original post by Unilad092001)
Hi there! I haven't made any meaningful friends during freshers week (a year ago). There was a lot of booze and parties, but strong relationships won't develop until much later (and normally with people you see every day, whether it's flatmates or colleagues doing the same course). Don't expect too much, enjoy yourself and let these things happen naturally . Hope it helps.
You didn't make friends in freshers week you make acquaintances they not your friends too you know them a few years and when university you finished university they stay in contact with you.
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kkboyk
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(Original post by Unilad092001)
Hi there! I haven't made any meaningful friends during freshers week (a year ago). There was a lot of booze and parties, but strong relationships won't develop until much later (and normally with people you see every day, whether it's flatmates or colleagues doing the same course). Don't expect too much, enjoy yourself and let these things happen naturally . Hope it helps.
Not many makes friends, mostly acquaintances who you probably wont ever see most of the times. Luckily I made a few friends who I hanged out with every day during freshers. Mostly because I talked to them prior to moving in.
(Original post by Anonymous)
Does everyone cook their own food during freshers?
I cooked during freshers because its cheaper. Most of my friends ordered food and easily spent over £200 during freshers alone
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RoseGold86
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've only signed up to like 5 events and 4/5 are alcohol based... I do drink but I don't plan on drinking anything during the first few weeks of uni because I would like to get to know the city first. Is not drinking during freshers okay?
Also, I'm supposed to be coming home on the second week of uni for the weekend, is this too early? Will I miss out on friendship opportunities if I go home, I will have been at uni for 13 days until that point so surely it would be okay to go home that early?
Be yourself not only is it ok the world needs intelligent people
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SMEGGGY
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(Original post by kkboyk)
I cooked during freshers because its cheaper. Most of my friends ordered food and easily spent over £200 during freshers alone
We're they obese? Or hit the gym...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by kkboyk)
Not many makes friends, mostly acquaintances who you probably wont ever see most of the times. Luckily I made a few friends who I hanged out with every day during freshers. Mostly because I talked to them prior to moving in.


I cooked during freshers because its cheaper. Most of my friends ordered food and easily spent over £200 during freshers alone
£200! What on earth did they eat? Honestly, I’m planning on cooking meals for myself, ordering food is unnecessary especially at the start of the year when you’ve got ingredients and need to learn how to manage cooking around the timetable. I hope they realised that they’d spent too much before it went too far
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kkboyk
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(Original post by Anonymous)
£200! What on earth did they eat? Honestly, I’m planning on cooking meals for myself, ordering food is unnecessary especially at the start of the year when you’ve got ingredients and need to learn how to manage cooking around the timetable. I hope they realised that they’d spent too much before it went too far
(Original post by SMEGGGY)
We're they obese? Or hit the gym...
Spent lots on groceries but never cooked, and ordered takeaway everyday (dominoes in particular).
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