how to deal with body dysmorphia? Watch

Anonymous #1
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I'm a 22 y/o female who has struggled with body dysmorphia for as long as i can remember. It's mostly to do with my face, i feel like the ugliest person in the world to the point where i feel i look deformed despite others telling me i look perfectly fine. I will spend hours and hours on my appearance and will not leave the house if i'm not happy with how i look. whilst out i will check every mirror/window/reflection to see how i look and i usually end up feeling **** and not being able to enjoy myself because of how ugly i feel. I was recommended cbt by my doctor a while ago but i didn't get on with it. I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with body dysmorphia and has overcome it or has any advice? it's controlling my life
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cam777
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That sounds really awful for you. It's important to realise that ugly/beautiful is very subjective. One person's perfect girl wouldn't even turn the head of somebody else. It seems like you are trying to meet your own expectations of what you think you should look like as opposed to changing your appearance to be accepted. Maybe you could try to identify what the actual issue is - for example, if you are ugly then so what? Is there more to you than just your appearance or do you view yourself as nothing more than a girl who has to look a certain way to be able to succeed? What are you actually scared of happening - if you went outside without any makeup on, what do you think is going to happen? Try to understand your fears and then put them to the test. If you're concerned people are going to point at you and call you names then prepare yourself for it and see what happens. I can almost guarantee that you wouldn't get any negative attention and if you did then so what? Anybody that is going to judge you negatively shouldn't be any part of your life and you definitely shouldn't let people like that control you to this extent. People watching can also be a good thing. Get a coffee and sit on a bench somewhere busy, check out all of the different people that you see - all body shapes, sizes, colours, races and be aware that you don't consider them all to be conventionally beautiful but you'll see these people with husbands, wives, children, cars, designer bags and so on. It might just help to make you see that appearance isn't particularly important and it's soon forgotten. Take some pride in what you have on the inside and let people see that side of you, your face is your identity and something you can't really change so don't try to hide it, just walk proud and tell people, this is me, this is what I look like, if you like it then great, if you don't then great, there's much more to me than just my face.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by cam777)
That sounds really awful for you. It's important to realise that ugly/beautiful is very subjective. One person's perfect girl wouldn't even turn the head of somebody else. It seems like you are trying to meet your own expectations of what you think you should look like as opposed to changing your appearance to be accepted. Maybe you could try to identify what the actual issue is - for example, if you are ugly then so what? Is there more to you than just your appearance or do you view yourself as nothing more than a girl who has to look a certain way to be able to succeed? What are you actually scared of happening - if you went outside without any makeup on, what do you think is going to happen? Try to understand your fears and then put them to the test. If you're concerned people are going to point at you and call you names then prepare yourself for it and see what happens. I can almost guarantee that you wouldn't get any negative attention and if you did then so what? Anybody that is going to judge you negatively shouldn't be any part of your life and you definitely shouldn't let people like that control you to this extent. People watching can also be a good thing. Get a coffee and sit on a bench somewhere busy, check out all of the different people that you see - all body shapes, sizes, colours, races and be aware that you don't consider them all to be conventionally beautiful but you'll see these people with husbands, wives, children, cars, designer bags and so on. It might just help to make you see that appearance isn't particularly important and it's soon forgotten. Take some pride in what you have on the inside and let people see that side of you, your face is your identity and something you can't really change so don't try to hide it, just walk proud and tell people, this is me, this is what I look like, if you like it then great, if you don't then great, there's much more to me than just my face.
thank you for the response, this is helpful and insightful. i don't know what i'm afraid will happen really, i worry people won't want to be friends with me (which is silly i know) and that people won't take me seriously if i'm not attractive.
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cam777
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I can't remember where I saw it, but I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that really attractive women are taken less seriously than normal girls. However, people you consider to be really beautiful are generally just covered in make-up, that's why there was that thing on Facebook a while ago asking people to post pictures without any makeup on, and also why most celebrity images are photoshopped. In reality, even the people you are striving to look like don't actually look like that either! It's a good thing to be conscious about your appearance but don't let it rule your life. You look how you look and if you are comfortable with that you start to ooze confidence which makes you instantly more attractive. Be healthy and be happy, nothing else really matters!
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k3panda
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I'm not really sure what to say but I do hope you make a full recovery
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