Arranged marriage is sexist Watch

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Anonymous #1
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My parents say that they won't give me away until I finish Uni (making decisions for me). What happens in our culture is that marriage proposals come for you through famillies of the boy calling the girls house or them coming to your house and asking for the girl. We are allowed to talk to them before marriage in a halal way for a month, 6 months, a year etc...as long as we need to get to know each other. But ultimately I'm not allowed to have a love marriage, so I'm not allowed to date/marry a non-muslim guy or even outside my ethnicity because my family would disown me.
Is this not sexist, I don't want my parents to pick a guy for me, I don't like guys in my ethnicity they are incredibly sexist.
In our culture, men are allowed to marry a white woman but women aren't allowed to marry a white man.
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jc933
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The truth is in this day and age arranged marriages should not still exist. It is an outdated ideas from times and cultures which put males of greater importance than women.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by jc933)
The truth is in this day and age arranged marriages should not still exist. It is an outdated ideas from times and cultures which put males of greater importance than women.
That's Islam for you
I agree with you
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by jc933)
The truth is in this day and age arranged marriages should not still exist. It is an outdated ideas from times and cultures which put males of greater importance than women.
Also, society and culture. If I was seen with a white/black man my name would literally be tarnished. The religion isn't toxic, it's the people
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Anonymous #2
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Please don't mix religion with culture.
Islam does not say that girls should have arranged marriages. That's your parents and culture.
And as long as the person converts to Islam you can marry who you want. It does not you cannot have love marriage sadly that is culture though and parents want you to get married 'within the family or within the neighbourhood'.
(When I say family I mean, far cousins not siblings haha!)

I pray that things work out for you inshallah x
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jc933
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Please don't mix religion with culture.
Islam does not say that girls should have arranged marriages. That's your parents and culture.
And as long as the person converts to Islam you can marry who you want. It does not you cannot have love marriage sadly that is culture though and parents want you to get married 'within the family or within the neighbourhood'.
(When I say family I mean, far cousins not siblings haha!)

I pray that things work out for you inshallah x
"As long as the person coverts to Islam you can marry who you want". Do you not see the hypocrisy in that very statement?
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Anonymous #2
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Agreed. Its not religion, its peoples outdated ideologies!
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Random_Student
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's Islam for you
I agree with you
There is a difference between forced and arranged marriages and like the OP keeps saying, it’s culture not, religion.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Please don't mix religion with culture.
Islam does not say that girls should have arranged marriages. That's your parents and culture.
And as long as the person converts to Islam you can marry who you want. It does not you cannot have love marriage sadly that is culture though and parents want you to get married 'within the family or within the neighbourhood'.
(When I say family I mean, far cousins not siblings haha!)

I pray that things work out for you inshallah x
The Quran promotes arranged marriages. Where does it say in the Quran that as long as the person converts they can get married?
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-Quava-
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's Islam for you
I agree with you
Islamically, you are allowed to marry outside your race and Islamically a marriage is not valid unless you want to marry that person.
You can throw your culture under the bus all you want, but don't lie about Islam or Allah (SWT.)
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jc933
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(Original post by -Quava-)
Islamically, you are allowed to marry outside your race and Islamically a marriage is not valid unless you want to marry that person.
You can throw your culture under the bus all you want, but don't lie about Islam or Allah (SWT.)
Surely its not possible to lie about Islam, given that people will interpret the Quran in different ways.
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A_J_B
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(Original post by Anonymous)
And as long as the person converts to Islam you can marry who you want. It does not you cannot have love marriage sadly that is culture though and parents want you to get married 'within the family or within the neighbourhood'
How orthodox is that! Do you not realise your hypocrisy?
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents say that they won't give me away until I finish Uni (making decisions for me). What happens in our culture is that marriage proposals come for you through famillies of the boy calling the girls house or them coming to your house and asking for the girl. We are allowed to talk to them before marriage in a halal way for a month, 6 months, a year etc...as long as we need to get to know each other. But ultimately I'm not allowed to have a love marriage, so I'm not allowed to date/marry a non-muslim guy or even outside my ethnicity because my family would disown me.
Is this not sexist, I don't want my parents to pick a guy for me, I don't like guys in my ethnicity they are incredibly sexist.
In our culture, men are allowed to marry a white woman but women aren't allowed to marry a white man.
You still have a choice in rejecting the guy based on his looks and stuff? So you aren't forced into anything...
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-Quava-
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The Quran promotes arranged marriages. Where does it say in the Quran that as long as the person converts they can get married?
The Quraan promotes arranged marriages smh. No. The Quraan promotes a halal marriage.

Khadija (the Prophets first wife) was impressed by the Prophet (SAW) and sent someone to ask to him to ask him for marriage.
This is an example of a halal marriage, which is not an arranged marriage and this is also the type of marriage that the Quraan promotes.

Please do not mix religion with culture.
Your family are not doing it the halal way, they are doing it the South Asian way.
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-Quava-
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Please don't mix religion with culture.
Islam does not say that girls should have arranged marriages. That's your parents and culture.
And as long as the person converts to Islam you can marry who you want. It does not you cannot have love marriage sadly that is culture though and parents want you to get married 'within the family or within the neighbourhood'.
(When I say family I mean, far cousins not siblings haha!)

I pray that things work out for you inshallah x
Please do not marry a man that has converted out of love for you because that pretty honeymoon phase whill go after 1 year of marriage.
Marry a man that has wholeheartedly converted for Allah (SWT) because then he will have infinite love for you.
Also, Islamically love cannot come before marriage- love comes after marriage.

Love marriages and arranged marriages are both cultural ways of marrying.
If you agree to an arranged marriage and like the partner without the 'talking phase' it is halal although a love marriage can never be halal.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by -Quava-)
Please do not marry a man that has converted out of love for you because that pretty honeymoon phase whill go after 1 year of marriage.
Marry a man that has wholeheartedly converted for Allah (SWT) because then he will have infinite love for you.
Also, Islamically love cannot come before marriage- love comes after marriage.

Love marriages and arranged marriages are both cultural ways of marrying.
If you agree to an arranged marriage and like the partner without the 'talking phase' it is halal although a love marriage can never be halal.
Why is it that I’m not allowed to marry a non-Muslim man but a Muslim man isn’t allowed to marry a non-Muslim woman
Before you say, it says this in the Quran so its not ‘culture’
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-Quava-
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(Original post by jc933)
Surely its not possible to lie about Islam, given that people will interpret the Quran in different ways.
The Qur'aan is crystal clear on its rules and obligations especially when it comes to marriage. You really cannot misinterpret unless you have not read it or read it but not understood it.
Should there be anything you are not clear on, you should head to an Imaam for clarification.
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Anonymous #1
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*is
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by jc933)
The truth is in this day and age arranged marriages should not still exist. It is an outdated ideas from times and cultures which put males of greater importance than women.
Sometimes arranged marriages work. It doesn’t necessarily put greater importance on men. What if a person doesn’t find anyone through love marriages?
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Anonymous #1
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‘Love comes after marriage’
That isnt true
Say I get arranged marriage to someone and don’t ever fall in love with them, I divorce them and my reputation in my cultures society is ruined, this can easily happen
Also, how do you know if you’re sexually compatible with someone before the arranged or halal love marriage?
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