Am I wanting too much? Or he is an *******? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
Hello! I'm 24 y.o. girl and my bf is 25. We are together since year. But recently I really feel things have changed between us. My boyfriend can be very sweet, he can be a gentleman. However I really feel that I feel bad in this relationship.

My boyfriend can be very rude. Not only to me but also to other people, to the waitress, to the casheer and so on. Last time I was at his house he told me I didnt shave properly and why, I knew that we meet and I knew that he likes me to be shaved completety ( I really try to do what he wants but I feel he wants me to be perfect). When we were on vacations he was telling me I have swimmingsuit like Borat. last time he told me I should walk straight, not like quasimodo. He told me many things like that before and when I mention in he tells me It was a joke and I'm too sensitive.

I really feel like he is pushing things on me. For example I wanted to go to the cinema last weekend because I have to commute to his place. He told me it's better to go during week cause it's cheaper (althoug I have to pay for bus tickets so for me it's not cheaper) so I said okay. Today he told me we can go tomorrow and he already told all his friends to go with us. I told him we can go at 5, he replied he is not 10 y.o. and we will go at 7. The thought I will sleep at his place but he didn't tell me but for him it was clear I will. He got mad at me and instead of asking me normally he started to send angry emojis. And In the end I gave up and agreed to sleep at his place. Althouhg I didnt want it. Last time we had argument because supposedly I dont say whay I want and all I do is tell him lies ... And when I say whay I want he makes drama so I will do what he wants anyways. He uses NEVERMIND all the time. It makes me feel so ****.

He wants me to come 150 km to his place but we don't go out together. We sit at his place and he watches F1 or basketball. When I want to go out for walk he asks me " And what do you want to do ?" . When we go out he tells me it would be nice to call his friend. I feel like I'm boring to him because we go out with his friends more than alone.

Last time I was telling him about my weekend with friends and he asked me If I were on a party. We went to restaurant and to the club. First I told him about restaurant and then we started talking about something else. Then I told him we were in club but for a half an hour because my friend felt sick. He got mad and asked me why I told him first that we went to the food place and not to the food place and then to the club. That I Ignored this aspect and I avoid this question ( I didn't avoid, I didnt hide it, I told about it to him...)

The thing is I try to talk to him. But he is so fierce... I feel like I want to much, like I annoy him. I really don't know what to do. He can get angry over such a small things. I have a feeling that I have no right to be angry or mad, I should shut up and not say anything. I should be happy that I'm with him because he does so much to me. Yes, he does. But I feel like he does less and less. That he tries less and less. He has a great job and I feel like he wants me to be a perfect doll. I feel like he is really materialistic. He ALWAYS has to be on top, he always has to be right. Even though I want to make up, I'm calm nice, send emojis and try to talk he can just answer to me like very dry. I'm sometimes really stressed and I don't want to make him angry.

Maybe I'm overacting and overthinking. I don't know but he never bought me flowers or anything. He never posted pic together. I come to the station and he stopped to pick me up, he expects me to come to his place. I don't know what to think... Please help
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello! I'm 24 y.o. girl and my bf is 25. We are together since year. But recently I really feel things have changed between us. My boyfriend can be very sweet, he can be a gentleman. However I really feel that I feel bad in this relationship.

My boyfriend can be very rude. Not only to me but also to other people, to the waitress, to the casheer and so on. Last time I was at his house he told me I didnt shave properly and why, I knew that we meet and I knew that he likes me to be shaved completety ( I really try to do what he wants but I feel he wants me to be perfect). When we were on vacations he was telling me I have swimmingsuit like Borat. last time he told me I should walk straight, not like quasimodo. He told me many things like that before and when I mention in he tells me It was a joke and I'm too sensitive.

I really feel like he is pushing things on me. For example I wanted to go to the cinema last weekend because I have to commute to his place. He told me it's better to go during week cause it's cheaper (althoug I have to pay for bus tickets so for me it's not cheaper) so I said okay. Today he told me we can go tomorrow and he already told all his friends to go with us. I told him we can go at 5, he replied he is not 10 y.o. and we will go at 7. The thought I will sleep at his place but he didn't tell me but for him it was clear I will. He got mad at me and instead of asking me normally he started to send angry emojis. And In the end I gave up and agreed to sleep at his place. Althouhg I didnt want it. Last time we had argument because supposedly I dont say whay I want and all I do is tell him lies ... And when I say whay I want he makes drama so I will do what he wants anyways. He uses NEVERMIND all the time. It makes me feel so ****.

He wants me to come 150 km to his place but we don't go out together. We sit at his place and he watches F1 or basketball. When I want to go out for walk he asks me " And what do you want to do ?" . When we go out he tells me it would be nice to call his friend. I feel like I'm boring to him because we go out with his friends more than alone.

Last time I was telling him about my weekend with friends and he asked me If I were on a party. We went to restaurant and to the club. First I told him about restaurant and then we started talking about something else. Then I told him we were in club but for a half an hour because my friend felt sick. He got mad and asked me why I told him first that we went to the food place and not to the food place and then to the club. That I Ignored this aspect and I avoid this question ( I didn't avoid, I didnt hide it, I told about it to him...)

The thing is I try to talk to him. But he is so fierce... I feel like I want to much, like I annoy him. I really don't know what to do. He can get angry over such a small things. I have a feeling that I have no right to be angry or mad, I should shut up and not say anything. I should be happy that I'm with him because he does so much to me. Yes, he does. But I feel like he does less and less. That he tries less and less. He has a great job and I feel like he wants me to be a perfect doll. I feel like he is really materialistic. He ALWAYS has to be on top, he always has to be right. Even though I want to make up, I'm calm nice, send emojis and try to talk he can just answer to me like very dry. I'm sometimes really stressed and I don't want to make him angry.

Maybe I'm overacting and overthinking. I don't know but he never bought me flowers or anything. He never posted pic together. I come to the station and he stopped to pick me up, he expects me to come to his place. I don't know what to think... Please help
He seems like a idiot sorry to say it. There are so many things wrong with this but the main two are:

1) he gets angry at you for not saying what you want but it seems like he wants you there when he pleases and wants to get rid of you when he pleases. HE is the one who doesn’t know what he wants, not you.

2) you’ve been together for a year and yet he’s not posted a pic together or bought flowers and he does is command you. You’re his girlfriend, not some stranger or someone there to listen and agree with his commands.

Since he is soooo keen on wanted to hear what you want, tell him all of this. All that you’ve said on here. And see how he reacts. I’m sure that’ll give you an answer. I hope everything works out in your favour.
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Anonymous #3
#3
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#3
Don't be scared to dump his ass. There is always better
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VegetableMarvell
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#4
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#4
He sounds quite controlling and volatile, not to mention a little boring! If you have concerns, don't be afraid to act on them despite fears you're 'overreacting'; your instinct is probably correct. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled in a relationship.
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HumblyBumbly
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#5
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#5
I agree with the posts above. He sounds over-bearing, patronising, rude and a bit unappreciative of you. I am the same age as you and know how hard relationships can be at this age (everyone just wants to sleep around!) so it is always worth trying hard to make relationships work but it is a fine balance because if he doesn't put in the effort back then it's like ... you are wasting your time on an unfulfilling relationship
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bones-mccoy
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#6
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Your boyfriend seems to think he can act like your dad rather than your partner i.e as your superior rather than your equal. Relationships are about compromise but it seems like you're doing all the compromising, which I don't blame you for as the alternative is him going in a sulk if he doesn't get his own way. Stand your ground. If you want to go to the cinema at 5, tell him and stick to it. Don't let him say "no we're going at 7", he can go at 7 if he likes but you're going at 5. I'm using something minor as an example but if you let this behaviour continue what happens in the future when you end up having little to no say in decisions that are actually important??

He is selfish and manipulative. He only wants to do things if they benefit him, totally ignoring your feelings or wishes and then guilts you into feeling bad about it if you dare make a decision that doesn't suit him. They say you can tell a lot about someone by how they speak to people they deem as inferior i.e waiters and cashiers, and it's true - he is rude and childish and just generally sounds unpleasant. You can do so much better.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 1 week ago
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